Finding my voice
by 68151308
Summary: All human. Edward is shy and awkward,struggling to cope with his hostile father and overprotective mother. He meets a pretty little waitress, who helps him survive a family torn apart by deep seated secrets and lies and shows him how to find his voice after a lifetime of bullying. Rated M for language and content.
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: I'm really nervous about this one, this is my first try at all human fan fiction but still, I'm pretty excited about how it's going to pan out. So, press that little button and let me know what you think.**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own anything twilight related, wish I did. Also wish I owned a nervous, innocent Edward, but I don't….**_

"There's my boy…"My mother, Esme cooed at me with a sweet smile.

I smiled back at her in the reflection of the mirror as I straightened my tie. I was nervously preparing for my date with Jessica, who my lovely mother was not fond of. At. All.

My mom was a sweet lady and my best friend in many ways, which I realise; is quite pathetic in itself really. She is also the most loving person I know. She is a tiny little thing with a heart shaped face and a kind smile. I on the other hand, am lanky and gangly, standing nearly a foot taller than Esme at 6'2. She may not have given me her height but I definitely got my red hair and green eyes from her. My height came from my father, and namesake; Edward Masen. Thankfully that is all I got from him, the two of us don't get along very well at all. He loves to point out that I am a complete failure in his eyes. He wanted an athletic, boisterous son and instead he got me; the geeky virgin. The disappointment. Luckily for him, he got the son he desired in my brother Emmett. He is huge,both in stature and character. Everything that my father hoped for in son, everything I wasn't. You would think we wouldn't get along but in all honesty, Emmett is awesome. We have always been close. Mostly because he has always been my protector. He never said anything but I know I disappointed him too. I disappoint everybody.

"What's the matter darling?" My mother interrupted my brooding with a look of concern etched on her features as she turned to smooth out my collar. I smiled at her reassuringly.

"Are you having second thoughts about the date? You don't have to go. I'll call her if you don't feel comfortable cancelling yourself. I'll call Jessica, what's the number?" my mother rambled, and shit she was already grabbing the phone. I guess she really doesn't like Jess.

"Mom, it's not that, I do want to go. I'm looking forward to it, I'm just nervous that's all, I really want to impress her." I said with a sigh. I felt like I was letting her down by dating a girl she so clearly didn't approve of. Mom was the one person who really defended me when I was growing up and I felt like I owed it to her to make her proud. I was letting her down but she would never admit she was unhappy with any of my decisions. My heart sank when I watched her face fall as she turned away from me with a watery smile. I was about to try and make things right when we were interrupted.

"MOM! mom...mom…mom...mom...mom…MO-O-OM!" Emmett chanted loudly, not even giving her time to answer. She sighed.

"Yes Emmett?" she said as she fussed with her shirt, most likely trying to hide the tears that were threatening to fall and suddenly I felt like an ass.

"I'm here and I'm hungry." He stated with no shame whatsoever. Esme flitted off to fix him some food with a sad smile. Rosalie stood behind Emmett shaking her head in amusement.

Rosalie was Emmett's long suffering girlfriend. She was undoubtedly beautiful, in an ostentatious way. She stood at almost 6 feet tall with long blonde hair and had a level of confidence that I could only dream of possessing. She could be a bit of a bitch but generally speaking she was ok. We didn't get along at first, or rather; she didn't like me at first. Until she met my father, once she saw how he was with me, I think she pitied me because she started to lay off me a little. This was yet another reason for me to feel like more of a failure and less of a man.

Mom mumbled something about dinner being ready soon as she looked at me sadly.

"Are you sure I can't convince you to stay for dinner baby?" Mom asked as she looked at me hopefully. Emmett interrupted before I had the chance to answer.

"He can't mom, he's got another hot date with Jess, right Eddie?" he said with a wiggle of his eyebrows. I nodded and gave Esme an apologetic look. I looked at my watch and sighed. I had to leave soon if I was going to have time to call to the florist on the way to pick up Jess for our date.

We had been going out for a couple of months now on and off. She didn't always have time to go out every time I asked her but she had called me earlier in the week saying that there was a new restaurant she wanted to try. It was a little pricey but if it made her happy then it was worth it I guess. Plus, how could I say no to her? Isn't making the woman happy the gentlemanly thing to do?

"I've got to go mom." I said, planting a kiss on her cheek. "Bye, love you."

She mumbled a goodbye and turned back to the sink, she looked so sad. I felt bad for her that she didn't like the woman I was with but I needed her to see that this was a good thing. Hopefully, her and Jess would get along. After all, it's like my dad said, I was lucky to have a girl like Jess look at me twice, let alone go on a date with me. He didn't seem to be on my case as much since I started seeing her. Although he did keep dropping hints about sexual activities and I didn't exactly tell him that I hadn't even kissed Jessica yet.

I rushed towards the door but Alice was blocking my way, her arms crossed over her chest and an angry scowl on her face.

"Please don't do this now Alice." I pleaded. I desperately wanted to be out of here before my father arrived home.

Alice was my younger sister, at 28; I was six years older than her but we were so close we may as well have been twins. We looked nothing alike though, she is a tiny little thing, standing at under 5 feet tall, with spiky black hair and no fear at all. She would quite happily tell anybody what she thought of them. This is exactly why I am avoiding her spending much time with Jessica. They don't get along either. My dad loves Jessica though which figures I guess.

"She is no good for you brother." Alice said in a soft tone. "Please Edward, see her for what she is." she pleaded.

I placed a hand on her shoulder and kissed her head softly.

"I'll be ok Ali. She's really not that bad. Not once you get to know her." I said trying to brush past her.

"Well I wouldnt know that seeing as I'm not allowed to see her am I?" she shouted angrily.

"No, because you are like this. You won't give her a chance and I don't know why. Dad likes her why can't you?" I said the nice bit quietly, feeling a little ashamed. I realised that I sounded like a child. I really was pathetic.

She just looked at me with sad eyes, all traces of anger gone and shook her head gently, moving to the side to let me pass. I was about to say something to placate her, apologise; anything, but I thought better of it and turned away.

"Edward?" Alice said in a trembling voice.

I turned back to her with a small smile.

"Bring her around for dinner tomorrow." she said, it wasn't a question. Tomorrow was Sunday so the whole family would be here. I could only hope that Jessica would say yes.

I called to the florist on the way to Jessica's house, picking up two dozen long stemmed red roses for her. Hopefully this would sweeten her up about dinner tomorrow.

My mind was on Alice all through the drive to Jessica's house. I wished she could see that a loser like me was lucky to land a girl like Jess. She was pretty and popular, whenever we were out together she always seemed to run into somebody she knew and they always greeted her warmly. Unlike me, who never really had a large group of friends or any actually. Most of my childhood was spent with my siblings. which again is pretty sad, the only friend I ever really had was my dorm-mate from college; Jasper Hale. He is Rosalie's brother, that's how she and Emmett came to meet. They just seemed to click instantly. That's Emmett all over though, as the ever popular jock, he never had any trouble connecting with people. I always envied him that trait.

I pulled up outside Jessica's in a hurry, she would get mad if I was late and I was anxious to please her. I exited the car and swiftly made my way to Jessica's door, bouquet in hand. My hand trembled as I rang her doorbell. I don't know why but being around her always made me nervous. when I was in high school my mother once told me that when i met the right girl I would get butterflies in my stomach whenever I saw her, so strong my love for her would be. This felt more like I had swallowed rocks, and Jessica often made me so nervous I believed I could vomit. I don't think this is the feeling mom was talking about but maybe I'm defective.

After ringing the bell i waited patiently, I could hear Jessica mumbling in hushed tones and lots of moving around behind the door but she had yet to answer. I was sure she had heard me so I didn't ring again, I didnt want to make her mad at me like last time.

I had taken her to the theatre one evening for an exclusive performance of Don Giovanni. Jessica didnt much care for it and spent most of the time texting on her cellphone, I didnt say anything, having felt guilty for failing to take her on a date that she would enjoy. However, when she recieved a call and started talking loudly we began to attract negative attention, I mentioned this to her discreetly and she exploded. She was screaming at me and calling me dull and pretentious, amongst other names I couldn't possibly repeat. She then shot up and demanded that I take her home immediately. The ride home was deathly silent and she bolted from the car as soon as I dropped her home. I hadn't heard from her in the two weeks since that night until she called to arrange our date for tonight. I was hoping this meant I was forgiven and had made my way back into her good graces.

Jessica eventually opened the door, looking more than a little flustered. I greeted her with a smile only to find her looking back at me with a confused and slightly annoyed expression. I opened my mouth to say hello but she held her hand up to stop me.

"You are early." She snapped. I checked my watch and I was actually a little later than we had agreed, the confrontation with Alice setting me back some.

Jessica ducked her head back in the door and peered to the left side of the wall, no doubt checking the time herself. Her face had softened when she returned to look at me.

"You are actually late, but I lost track of time myself so I will let it slide I suppose." she said in an empassive tone. I thanked her quietly and she sighed in response.

She glanced over her shoulder and I was sure that I heard a door click at the other side of the house but Jessica said nothing so I knew that I must have been mistaken. I held the bouquet out for her with a hopeful smile; she smiled back albeit weakly and placed the flowers on the table by the door without so much as a thank you. She motioned for me to follow her through the house and into the sitting room and as I trailed behind her I took a moment to take in her appearance. She did indeed look somewhat disshevled. Her usually perfectly groomed salon blonde curls were in wild dissarray as if she had been running her hands through her hair roughly. She kept trying to calm her mane with the palms of her hands. Her red cocktail dress was also crumpled and bunched up at one side. Her heavily applied make up was also smudged, her lipstick smeared slightly around her mouth. I could only assume it had been applied in haste and without the aid of a mirror. She noticed me staring and avoided my gaze nervously. She huffed out a breath and stated that she needed to go and freshen up, I simply nodded in response. I doubted it would be noble of me to say I was inclined to agree with her.

Whilst she was in the bathroom I took the oppertunity to survey the room; this was also untidy. There were two empty wine glasses on the coffee table and the scatter cushions from the couch were disorganised and some were even on the floor. The lamp next to the sofa had even been knocked over on its resting table. I took a moment to right the lamp and pick up the cushions although I didnt reorganise them on the sofa as it wasnt really my place and I didnt want Jess to get mad at me again for being rude.

Jessica entered the room again shortly. Thankfully looking a little better presented, although her outfit was a little revealing for her choice of dinner location.

Her eyes flitted to the coffee table and she paled for a moment before her features softened and she flashed me a wide smile.

"Sorry for keeping you waiting, I had a friend call in earlier. That's why there are two glasses out. He- sorry she has only just left." She said, placing her hand on my bicep and squeezing gently. She fluttered her eyelashes and looked at me in a manner that made me a little uncomfortable. I smiled in acceptance and discreetly turned out of her grasp.

"D-did you have a n-nice time? with your friend? " I stammered, her gaze making me nervous.

" Oh yes. We had a very nice time" she said in a tone I couldnt discipher before she giggled lightly.

I asked if she was ready to leave as we had very little time if we were to make our reservations at the restaurant. She hummed her approval and walked towards the door. I assisted her with her coat and got the door for her, waiting for her to secure it after us. I opened her car door for her and she climbed in silently having rejected my hand to assist her. I tried not to be offended that she hadnt acknowledged the gesture or even made eye contact with me since leaving the house.

Once again, the drive was a silent one, with Jessica spending most of it glancing out of the passenger window. After the first few failed attempts to start a conversation, I politely gave up and accepted the ride of silence.

Jessica perked up visibly when we arrived at the restaurant. I was hopeful that this date would finally be a pleasant one. Over the months, I had come to notice that I had the unfortunate habit of irritating Jessica very easily. I hoped to amend that tonight. She hadn't seemed very impressed by the flowers when I presented them to her back at the house so I hoped to find another way to please her. I needed this relationship to work out. I certainly did not need to give my father another reason to view me as a failure. As much as I hated to admit it, a part of me,and a rather dominant part at that, loved it when my father approved of my actions. It was so infrequent that I recieved anything close to praise or acceptance from him that I ate it up pathetically as soon as it was offered.

I parked the car and made a move to Jessica's side, opening the door for her. Frowning as once again when I offered my hand in assistance, I was rebuffed. I didnt say anything to Jessica, thinking that perhaps she just wasnt used to being treated like a lady. I would have to amend that.

We entered the restaurant and I informed the maître d' of our reservations. He was around my age, with dark black hair and an olive complexion. Jessica was very warm in her greeting of him; smiling sweetly and staying very close to him as he led us to our table. Once there, I pulled out her chair for her and she glared at me for reasons unknown. I thanked the young man as he informed us our server would be over shortly and he raised his eye brows at me and smirked in a knowing way. As he walked away I'm sure I heard him mumble something that sounded like 'good luck with that one' but I wasn't sure so I let it go. Not that I would have said anything anyway, I was too timid for that.

After a couple of minutes of yet more silence, another young man approached our table and presented us with a set of menus. He smiled wide at me and Jessica in turn before he introduced himself.

"Hi, my name is Michael and I'll be your server this evening. Please take some time to peruse our menu and I'll return shortly to take your order. Before I leave, can I get you started with any drinks?"

I ordered a soda water, earning an eye roll from Jessica. I considered using my defense of driving but thought better of it as Jessica knew I was a non-drinker anyway, so she would no doubt throw that back at me. Michael chuckled in Jessica's direction and she giggled back and twirled a lock of hair around her index finger whilst focusing her attention on the server in front of her and blanking me.

"Alright. What about you young lady, what can I get for you?" He asked in slow drawl, I noticed he had moved closer to Jessica and was looking at her so intently I almost felt like I was intruding. Jessica's face lit up as she grinned wide.

"Champagne. I'd like champagne." she said looking at me with a raised eyebrow as if challenging me to contest it. I nodded my acquiescence. Michael smiled and promised to return shortly.

I turned to Jessica with a smile, hoping to start up a conversation. However, she already had her phone out and was texting away with a faraway smile on her face. I took the time to look over the menu while I waited for her to look in my direction. I decided to chance it and start polite conversation with her, this was a date afterall.

" I like the sound of the steak. What about you Jessica?" I said softly, so as not to appear overbearing. I was once again met with silence. I could feel what little confidence I had slipping away from me, so I sat in silence for the next few minutes until a pretty little brunette approached our table.

"Hi there, I hope I'm not interrupting you guys. I'm afraid your server, Michael is otherwise occupied right now. So, I will be resuming your service if that's alright. I hope you'll accept our apologies." she said, adressing both myself and Jessica with a lovely smile. For the first time tonight, I found myself smiling genuinely in response. My smile faltered when I realised the smile was genuine because this was the first time tonight that I felt like anyone had actually noticed me. Jessica huffed and pulled out her phone again.

"Fine, I'll have the salmon." Jessica stated without looking away from the gadget in her hand.

"Excellent choice, the salmon is ethically sourced and the marinade is exquisite if I do say so myself." the girl before me said towards Jessica with a bright smile which faltered slightly when she was met with silence from Jessica. Her eyes widened as she brought her gaze to me. Her eyes had a dark chocolate hue and held a unique sense of warmth in them. She tilted her head slightly in question and I silently chastised myself when i realised I had been staring.

"Sorry, erm... I'd like the steak, medium r-rare." I stuttered, but I was unsure why. The room suddenly felt too warm; my tie too tight. I cleared my throat gently to compose myself. I feared I had spooked the young lady serving us when she ducked her eyes away from mine and a furious blush spread over her cheeks and neck, my mind urged me to allow my eyes to wander and follow the blush to the collar of her shirt when we were interrupted by another young lady with a tray of drinks.

This girl was also a brunette but appeared much plainer somehow, yet her smile was just as warm.

"Ok, so I have a soda..." she prompted but I was too busy sneaking glances at our server to take the cue.

"That's his. He always has dull drinks. Dull everything." Jessica said with a hint of malice whilst looking around the room absently.

"Soda water is a good choice if you are not taking alcohol, it will cleanse your pallet and you'll appreciate the flavours of your food more." The first girl said with a smile in my direction. I found myself glowing at the thought of earning her approval even in such a small way. That's the thing about being so shy that you can't form proper friendships. You tend to ostracize yourself to such a degree that the slightest form of praise or physical contact can affect you far more than it should. I smiled at the waitresses as I heard Jessica tut and mutter 'finally' in a rude manner as her drink was placed in front of her, the bottle left in a bucket of ice to the side of the table. The two servers exchanged a glance at the sight of Jessica deinking champagne alone. They left us with a parting word of our food arriving shortly. As they left I heard one of them mutter 'what a lush' under their breath and stifled a smirk.

The conversation with Jessica was stagnant at best, our food arrived as promised and with my thanks I earned another warm smile from the chocolate eyed brunette. It was enough to make me want to order again and I would have if I thought I could justifyably get away with it.

I was still smiling to myself, for once not minding the silence with Jessica when she spoke and swiftly wiped the smile from my face.

"Well someone's desperate for her tip." she said throwing a look towards my favourite brunette, who was serving at a nearby table. She looked to be being friendly with them too but I liked to think she was more so with me. Then it hit me how pathetic I was being. She had not glanced back at me; she hadn't noticed me at all. Not really. She was just doing her job and I was deluding myself. This reminded me of why I was really sitting here and I turned my attention back to Jessica with a nod and a smile.

"Pathetic if you ask me. The way she was sucking up to you and you lapped it up, you shouldnt encourage her kind." she said shooting me a look of disdain and I found myself apologising and lowering my gaze to the table. Jessica just sighed in response.

We ate in silence for a while until Jessica spoke again; I looked up to her eagerly, feeling guilty for my earlier misdemeanor with the waitress.

"Say baby, I wanted to ask you something..." she said in a sickly sweet voice placing her hand on mine over the table. She was looking at me in that weird way again. It made me uncomfortable. It didnt look real, almost like she was forcing it. I nodded for her to continue and as I looked up I noticed the waitress from earlier glancing at our hands with a sad expression, the previous warmth dissipated.

I removed my hand from Jessica's under the pretence of taking a drink, i hazarded a look to the brunwtte again but she was focused on somebody else. A customer; which is all I was to her. This fact bothered me much more than it should have and I couldn't understand why.

"Well, I need an outfit for interviews and stuff, shoes too probably and you know I cant afford it right now… and I will never get a decent job if I dont look the part..." she rambled on as my eyes locked with the warm eyes that I had been obsessed with all evening as the young lady passed our table. This was when Jessica got a unusual glint in her eye and an unpleasant smirk crossed her face.

"And you want me to get a decent job dont you, it's like you were saying the other day; you dont want me to end up in some low life job like waitressing do you babes?" the venom in her voice was unmistakable.

My heart sank when I saw the eyes of the sweet brunette tear up as she asked if we were all done and if everything was ok with the meal. I had to put this right.

"I'm quite sure I said nothing of the sort Jessica." I said strongly, knowing I spoke the truth. I had never said anything like that. I couldn't understand why Jessica was behaving this way. She giggled and looked up to the lady tending our table with a viscious smirk.

"Oh yes, of course sweetheart." she ended with a giggle again and I couldn't understand her sudden penchant for pet names, she had never used them before and they sounded like poison coming from her lips.

The brunette didn't look at me as she asked if she could get us anything else. I politely declined, cutting Jessica off before she could speak. I had seen another side of her tonight and wasn't sure that I liked it. Maybe Alice had been right about her after all.

I waited anxiously for the young lady to return with our bill. I had the irrational need to put this right. I couldn't bear the thought of her being upset with me. I had a great need to please her for some reason. I definitely favoured her over Jessica right now at any rate. However, I was soon disappointed. It was Michael from earlier who brought the bill. His earlier smile was also absent. Jessica lit up at the sight of him and I struggled to hide my distaste. He ignored her and I was silently pleased, I felt it was justified. I swiftly paid, leaving a generous tip and Michael offered his apologies for the disjointed service. I offered my compliments to the both him and his colleagues much to Jessica's dismay.

I left the restaurant with Jessica and in low spirits, disturbed by the chain of events this evening. I wanted to go back inside and find the brunette who had intrigued me so. Instead I walked to the car with this bleach blonde witch child. I entered the car leaving her looking shocked at the prospect of opening her own door. If she couldnt behave like a lady, then I wouldn't treat her like one. She climbed in and I sped off without a word.

"So, about this outfit. $800 should be enough Eddie." she said batting her eyelashes. I looked back at her aghast. Surely she didnt expect the money from me.

"So, do you have it with you now or do you want to meet up tomorrow?" she said frankly. She really had no shame at all. I was livid as I pulled up at her door. I retrieved my balls; metephorically of course and looked her dead in the eye as I answered her.

"No, I dont think I'll be giving you a penny today and after tonight I'm not sure that I want to see you again either." I said, immensely pleased when my voice didn't waver. The look on her face was priceless. Then her mouth pulled into a frown and her lower lip trembled. I actually felt bad for her for a second until I recalled her behaviour over dinner. She moved closer to me and placed her hand on my arm moving her mouth to my ear with a doe eyed expression.

"Please baby, I need you to take care of me" she purred, her breath on the side of my face repulsed me and I pulled away. A few hours ago that would have worked but not after tonight. I had seen her true colours.

I exited the car and opened her door for her, a fake smile plastered on my face. she beamed back, clearly oblivious to my feelings as usual.

"so when-" she started but I cut her off.

"Goodbye Jessica." I stated calmly, not making eye contact and she jumped out if the car angrily.

"Don't be like that baby." she said sweetly with a pout. Then she placed a talloned hand on my cheek and moved in to kiss me, I jerked away before she could make contact. I may have waited a pathetic 28 years for my first kiss but I wasnt going to let it happen like this; with someone like her.

"I said goodbye Jessica."

"Goodbye? Goodbye!" she screeched.

"But…but…why? I know you are good for it. It's the only reason that I agreed to go out with your sorry ass in the first place. You're fucking pathetic Edward. A sad little virgin and everybody knows it. You will bring me that money tomorrow or daddy will get a tearful visit at his office, so he can hear how I caught his son, my beloved boyfriend in a very compromised position with another man." With this she stormed towards the house, casting a spiteful glance over her shoulder and shouting back at me.

"I'll see you tomorrow Edward!"

I got back into the car and sped home, rushing into my parent's house on shaky legs.

As I entered, I searched out my sister, ignoring the concerned look on my mothers face at my obviously distressed expression.

Alice met me at the top if the stairs, the look on her face telling me she was about to come out with a snarky comment regarding my date, until she saw my face and her expression softened. She motioned me into her bedroom and tilted her head in question, pulling me into a tight hug with her arms around my waist. I welcomed it eagerly.

"I need your help Alice. Jessica is a total bitch. From here on in, you have free reign."

Once she had recovered from the obvious shock of my ungentlemanly statement, she beamed a brilliant smile.

"Don't you worry brother dearest, just tell me what happened and I'll take care of it for you. As a matter of fact you can consider it my fucking birthday present." She said whilst bounding up and down on the spot with a wild glint in her eye.

"Okay but before you deal with Jessica, there is one other thing I need you to do." I asked with an awkward smile. She tilted her head in question.

"Anything brother."

"You know how you pulled a few strings to get me those reservations for the restaurant we went to tonight?" she nodded, looking confused.

"Well do you think that you could pull a few more and find out the name of a waitress. I owe her some flowers."

_**A/N: So there it is, the first chapter of my first ever all human fanfic, Let me know what you think please. xxx**_


	2. channelling my inner Alice

**A/N- Hi again, this chapter is also in Edward's POV, Bella's is coming but I thought we needed more of an insight into our boy first. I'm pretty nervous about this chapter because it's different to what I've written before. This story is going to get pretty heavy soon, so I included a little fluff toward the end of this chapter. Just to lighten things up a little and because a bumbling, flirting Edward is always fun. He's so innocent, it's cute.**

**Big thanks to all who added me as an alert or favourite story. After only posting the first chapter, I was amazed how many of you added me, so thanks guys!**

**A big thanks goes out to my friend Sienna for her kind words and her help with naming a special somebody in this chapter. You rock girl! **

**Hope you all enjoy. Next chapter will be Bella's POV.**

**Thanks,**

**Gemma xx**

EPOV

I was smiling lazily to myself as my mind drifted back to the restaurant this evening. Surprisingly, Jessica wasn't dominant in these thoughts; instead my mind was flooded with sweet smiles and silky chestnut hair. I saw images of deep chocolate coloured orbs and the way that they shone when she smiled or as she defended me sweetly against Jessica's snide insults. My smile faded when I remembered the last time I had seen those eyes; full of tears that were threatening to fall because of Jessica's venomous words. I snapped back to reality when I felt Alice place a hand on my shoulder gently.

"Are you okay brother? Where did you go just now?" She said with a breathy chuckle, obviously trying to figure out my strange behaviour.

_Good luck with that Alice, I can't even figure it out myself._

"Dad will be home from work soon Alice." I said whilst avoiding eye contact. I would never admit to anyone but my sister that I went to great lengths to avoid my own father. To her credit; she never pulled me up on it. She just nodded back at me sadly.

"I thought he would have been here already..." I let my words trail off and she nodded her head furiously with a grimace.

"He's working late; he's doing that a lot lately." She mumbled whilst looking at me with tear filled eyes. I looked at her in question but she just shrugged her tiny shoulders and pulled me in for another hug.

"They argue a lot now." she whispered into my chest.

I suddenly felt ashamed for coming to her with all of my problems. She seemed so vulnerable, like a child and yet here I was; nearly thirty years old and getting her to fight my battles for me. It should be the other way around; I should be protecting my little sister. Instead I was letting her down just like I did with everyone. I pulled out of the embrace and turned away from her, feeling the bitter sting of tears that were threatening to fall. I knew I had to get out of here before I lost hold of what little dignity I had left. Alice opened her mouth but I cut her off before she could speak.

"I have to go now Alice. I'm sorry little sister." I said, placing a kiss to her hair.

"Don't worry about Jessica alright? I'll handle that myself." She looked back at me sceptically, so I continued.

"I will, I promise. I need to do this Alice, please understand." I pleaded pathetically. She smiled back in sympathy.

"Fine, but you will be telling me what happened." She said in a tone that left no room for debate. I frowned in response.

"I mean it Edward. I want to know what that bitch has done to make you see sense. You are too good for her, no matter what anyone says. Don't you dare settle for anything but perfect, you'll find her when its time. I know it and when is the oracle ever wrong, huh?"

She nudged my shoulder playfully to end her mini rant.

"Ok. Will you be alright here tonight? You can crash at mine if you want you know. You're always welcome. You know that right?" She shook her head gently to dismiss my offer.

"I'll be fine dearest brother. Seriously, I'll be okay. I can't leave Mom anyway." She said and I felt the guilt wash over me anew. I felt like I had abandoned my mother. I cringed internally at the memory of her tears on the day I moved out. Even though it was only six months ago.

"Do you have plans tomorrow morning?" I asked. Tomorrow was Sunday, so we would all be having lunch here but I vowed to myself that I would make time for my little sister.

Alice informed me that she was free and so we arranged to meet for lunch. We exchanged goodbyes and 'I love you's' and I left after calling into the kitchen to exchange the same with my mother. Unfortunately, I also had to skilfully avoid her questions about the date I had this evening. I really didn't feel like discussing that tonight.

I was about to pull out of the drive just as my father pulled up in his black Mercedes. He got out and swaggered over to my window. I suppressed a sigh as I wound it down to speak to him.

"Hi Dad." I said with as much confidence as I could muster. He grunted in greeting.

My father was an imposing man in many ways. His hair jet black, like Emmett's but tinged with grey at the temples and always perfectly groomed. His eyes were dark and hard, almost always caught in a stern glare when I was around. Except when I managed to fail in some way; which was frequently, then they seemed to dance with mirth and satisfaction. He was as tall as me but with much broader shoulders, built like my brother but with a more stocky appearance. He carried himself with an air of superiority around me, and always seemed to be looking down on me.

"How was your date?" He said almost knowingly. His tone did not indicate a friendly curiosity. He was reading me like an open book, obviously sensing that it hadn't gone well. His eyes were dancing again.

"Fine." I mumbled.

"Then what the fuck are you doing here? If it was Emmett, he'd be doing me proud and fucking her brains out right now. Not running home to mummy. You're a fucking disgrace." He chuckled darkly. I prayed silently that traitor tears wouldn't fall. I wasn't a child anymore; I couldn't let him see that he had gotten to me. I could cry in private when I got home.

"No, no it was good; a very pleasant evening." I replied flatly, mortified when my voice wavered.

"Pleasant eh? What happened? Did you blow in your pants before she even touched you huh? Probably for the best, you'd only disappoint her anyway. Hey Son?" he emphasised the last word as if it burnt him to say it. I hung my head so he couldn't see the hurt and shame on my face. It would only give him more satisfaction. He was about to speak again when the front door opened.

"Oh, Ed your home. Finally." My mother said whilst walking towards us and throwing a sympathetic glance in my direction.

"Well obviously, Esme. Hey you better hope Rosalie and Alice pop plenty out for you because you haven't a hope in hell of this one giving you grandkids. But hey, look on the bright side; he might bring you a new son when he finally comes out of the closet. Lord knows he doesn't know how to handle a woman." He said maliciously and my heart sank when I saw my mother's eyes water up. She leaned to the window and kissed my cheek.

"You get off home now baby. I love you." She said sweetly and I returned the sentiment.

"Bye dad." I said in his direction. He didn't reply.

The only sounds I heard as I pulled away were the quiet purr of the engine and my father muttering that I was "fucking pathetic."

I didn't bother to wipe away the tears as they fell.

I arrived home a little over half an hour later; if you could call it a home. I had an apartment in the city; it was in a prestigious building and had excellent views of the skyline. I had to appreciate the view because gazing out at it was how the majority of my evenings were spent.

The whole of the apartment was sparsely decorated; I was here alone so I needed little in the way of furniture. It's not like anyone ever came around here, even Jessica hadn't been over in the whole time we had been dating. Despite its barren appearance, I felt like my home said a lot about me. The real me that I hid away. The few paintings that hung on the walls showed who I dreamed of being, speaking words of character and fulfilled potential. Nobody knew they came from my own hand; I passed the praise off to a local unknown artist if my mother or sister ever commented during a visit and they were the only people who did visit. The books that lined my walls displayed my desires for the objects of their common themes; bravery, honour, companionship, family, belonging and love. None of which I could ever possess. The white baby grand piano that sat alone by the window sang of my loneliness and the longing I felt for my younger days when my grandfather; Anthony Masen, would sit and watch me play with proud eyes.

Aside from my mother, my grandfather was the only person who didn't make me feel like a disappointment to the Masen name. He had lived nearby until my grandmother died two years ago. Then he moved to Washington, where he had first met his wife 50 years before. He said it made him feel closer to her somehow. At the time I was devastated, feeling like I had lost two grandparents at once. I could understand it now though; he was a proud man and wanted to grieve privately. What I can't understand, is why I didn't take him up on the offer to leave with him. This offer had angered my father greatly, and despite the way he behaves, I suppose I still crave his approval and so I declined.

I entered my apartment and cringed in response to the deafening silence that met me. This is why it wasn't a home, it was empty. That's a trait I also possess; always empty, void. I passed through the spacious open plan area, activating my answer phone messages as I passed. I had a couple from work, one from Jasper about some new gadget and one from my mother checking I was okay and asking me to call her tomorrow. I sighed, appreciating the sentiment but knowing that I would have called her anyway. We already speak every day, what she meant was; 'call me tomorrow, so I can make up for the fact that your father hates you.'

I passed the kitchen and entered the den in search of my most prized possession, and I wasn't disappointed. I felt a wide grin spread across my face as I saw her there in all her glory. She was sprawled out over the ridiculously expensive rug that my mother insisted on having imported when I moved in. She was laid on her side with her legs off in all directions; she tilted her head back to look at me, her tongue lolling off to the side. I chuckled to myself at the sight of her, from this angle she looked as though she was grinning back at me. She scrambled up quickly when she caught sight of me and came bounding over, jumping up and slapping her front paws against my chest. I quickly took a step back to steady myself and leaned down to rub her head with both hands.

"Did you miss me Abby?" She responded to this by attempting to lick my face, so I pulled away quickly with a chuckle.

I hadn't intended on getting a dog, it just kind of happened. I had gone to the rescue centre set on coming home with a cat, something easy to look after that would still give me company when I came home. When I got there though, I went to the reception desk and waited behind a family that were looking for a Labrador. The woman behind the desk told them that they only had one; a bitch that had been found abandoned, and badly treated. She had been malnourished, and had some health problems, but was on the mend. I was touched when the little girl told her father that she wanted that one. Then they were led away, presumably to look at the animal. I continued to wait, pleased that the poor thing would get a home now. However, the family came out with the little girl crying. The father promptly told her to "shut up" and said they would get a "proper dog" because nobody would want that thing. I suppose I related to her in some way, both of us were damaged and unwanted, both having been rejected by the person who was supposed to care for us.

They weren't lying when they said she was malnourished. She was a tiny little thing, with lank fur and some of her bones were showing. Suffice to say, Abby came home with me as soon as the checks and paperwork were completed. I was all prepared for a cat at the apartment, so I had nothing for her to sleep on, in the end I forged a make shift dog bed out of blankets and set her up in the den. As I was heading to my room, she gave me doe eyes and I instantly felt sorry for her. I ended up sleeping in there with her, my too long body cramped up on the loveseat, with her on the rug beside me. In hindsight, this was a ridiculous thing for me to do. She was a rescue dog and I knew nothing about her temperament, so she could have decided to chew my fave off in the night. Thankfully, she didn't but I returned to my own bed after that. Abby has pretty much been in the den ever since. She lords over it likes it's her palace, only coming out to eat or when I literally drag her around the block. At first I thought she hated going out because she was afraid of being left by the roadside again, I have since learned she is in fact just ridiculously lazy. I'm seriously considering just installing a set of wheels to her ass to make walk time easier on me.

I left the den and headed for the kitchen, Abby hot on my heels because food was involved. I prepared her bowl and tapped her nose gently with my finger, showing her the bowl before I set it down. She is partially blind in one eye and a little deaf so she sucks as a guard dog. Someone could break in and rob me blind and she would be happy as hell as long as they didn't go in her den. I could live with that though because she is awesome as a companion.

Just as Abby was finishing up, my cell phone rang. I sighed heavily when I saw the caller ID. I let it ring a few times while I composed myself, willing myself to channel my inner Alice, and stay strong. I answered in an unsteady voice.

"Hello, Jessica."

"Edward, why have you ignored my texts-" She continued to talk in an annoyed screech as I pulled the phone from my ear to check the display, I did indeed have numerous messages from her. I ran a trembling had through my hair as I continued to listen.

"I'm willing to forgive you Edward." She stated as I listened on speechless.

"Once you apologise." She said, in a matter of fact way.

Apologise? Did I need to? After all, she was the one who was rude. She even threatened me for money. My father's voice resounded in my head telling me I couldn't land a girl like Jessica. So I did the only thing I could do.

"I apologise for my behaviour tonight Jessica. To make it up to you, will you come to Sunday lunch with me tomorrow? I'd like you to meet my family." My gut wrenched as I said the words but I knew I couldn't handle this alone. I would ask Alice to help me.

Jessica was silent for a minute before she exhaled deeply.

"Fine. I'll go. You'll have that money for me then right?" She demanded.

"Yes, I'll pick you up at 3 if that's ok?" I replied pathetically.

"Right. Oh and Edward?"

"Yes Jessica?" I screwed my eyes shut and pinched the bridge of my nose as I answered her, dreading what would come out if her mouth next.

"To make up for tonight, make it a grand not $800." with that she hung up and I wanted to scream. She made me feel so small, so worthless.

Maybe this was all I was good for, the best I would get. I should just accept it.

I shook my head to clear my depressed thoughts as Alice's words from earlier resounded in my head.

_You are good enough, no matter what anyone says._

_Don't settle for less than perfect._

I didn't know what to think. I was confused and needed to clear my head. I looked around for Abby and saw her slinking off towards the den again. I quickly coerced her back and grabbed her lead from the drawer by the door. Surprisingly, she didn't put up too much of a fight and there was minimal dragging involved. Perhaps she could sense I wasn't in the mood. Even my dog pities me. I really am pathetic.

The night air helped me to calm down and I started to rationalise that Alice would help me figure everything out tomorrow.

We headed home after a while as Abby was becoming more and more reluctant and thanks to the fact that I spoil her and she lies around most of the day, she was gaining weight now so I didn't want to carry her when she flat out refused to move and she would if we went much farther.

I swear she sighed in relief when we arrived back on our block.

My mind wandered again to the pretty waitress this evening. This brought a small smile to my face. I shook my head to clear it, I was losing my mind. I was so absorbed with her that I was seeing her face everywhere. The jogger across the street even began to look like her.

Her hair was tied up at the back of her head, flowing down her back in a ponytail, swaying as she moved closer. I couldn't see her eyes from here, but I knew they wouldn't be as beautiful as the orbs that had intoxicated me since I left the restaurant.

I was wrong. They were just as beautiful, they were one and the same. It was her and she was looking right at me and shit, she was getting closer now as she jogged across the street towards me.

Somehow, my eyes drifted from her perfect face and I looked down to her tight sports top and was entranced by the jiggling of her...

"Hello again." the angel's voice broke me from my lurid observation.

"Uh... uh...hey-ello hi." I stammered ridiculously. She was close and probably other things I couldn't think of right now, because she was close and that made my brain stop working. But she looked confused. Why was she confused? She tilted her head to the side and chuckled and it was magnificent.

It wasn't that fake giggle that girls like Jessica would use, it was like an angel sat on a cloud with puppies and chocolate and sweet things and everything else that I love. I wanted to hear it again, record it and set it as my ringtone.

"Hey-ello hi?" She asked playfully, a smile still playing on those perfect lips. Then it hit me she was confused because I was an idiot. When she had giggled, she was laughing at me and my stupidity. Normally when people did this, I would get depressed but this time I found myself smiling back. Feeling proud because I was the one who put her smile where it was.

"I went to say hey, hello and hi but they all blended together." I laughed out nervously.

She smiled again and so did I.

"Wow. You're thorough with you greetings" she giggled with a nod.

"I like to cover my bases" I giggled. Yes, giggled.

Her smile was dazzling as she looked up at me through her long lashes. I'm pretty sure I looked creepy with the way I was grinning. She cleared her throat softly and my eyes drifted to the source, mesmerised by the curve of her slender neck. I was shamelessly staring at the creamy skin on show in the warm night air. My eyes drifted lower momentarily before I caught myself. Yeah, definitely creepy.

"Do you always jog on your own at this time?" I asked, suddenly becoming worried about her. I noticed how tiny she was. She was so slender and much shorter than me. I could so easily just wrap her in my arms and...

"Not usually so late. I just moved in around the corner and I needed to uhm... clear my head a little." she said and I nodded. I knew that feeling.

"I've not lived here too long myself." I admitted and she nodded. I couldn't shake my concern and so I continued.

"You should be careful out here alone at night though." I said whilst hoping it came across as friendly concern but suddenly paranoid it might have sounded like a weird stalker threat.

"I am, that's why I don't have my iPod; so I can hear what's going on. Plus I have my pepper spray." She said, as she pulled the small canister out of the pocket of her way too tight yoga pants. I swallowed, I was suddenly too hot.

"It works too, I can show you if you like." She joked, and I shook my head trying to think of a witty reply, but naturally I failed miserably.

"Plus, it seems to be a pretty safe neighbourhood. Although, apparently there is this one weird guy you have to watch out for." She said seriously and I was immediately worried for her, I hadn't heard about this guy. But then I shouldn't be surprised. I only spoke to my mother and my sister and they lived on the other side of town. I frowned, feeling pathetic then nodded for her to continue.

"Yeah. Some weird dude, who goes around at night dragging a dead dog behind him" She said and grinned widely.

I was just about to comment on how scary that was and urge her to be careful, even offer to walk her closer to home. Then I noticed her looking down at Abby who was sprawled out on the pavement. I sighed and rolled my eyes.

"She's not dead. She's just relaxing." I said as I chuckled again and I was sure I hadn't laughed this much in a long time.

"I'm pretty sure she's dead." She dead panned. I shook my head.

"She's not. Look." I said, waggling her lead. Abby did nothing. Thanks girl, love you too. In all fairness, she did look dead.

"Abby… Abby… come on girl." I said, urging her to show some small sign of life. I got nothing. The girl looked at me doubtfully, trying to supress a laugh.

"You're getting nothing there I'm afraid." She said and she smiled again. I love that smile.

"She's just a bit deaf, hold on." I said, moving to the side to try and get Abby to look at me. It was hard because she had her head flat on the floor now. The angel shook her head when I came off blank again.

"Hold on, that's her blind eye." I added quickly and went to move to the other side.

She bent over laughing. I liked it because it meant I got a perfect view of her...

"Passed out, deaf and blind? What in the name of Fuck did you do to your dog?" she exclaimed with a high pitched squeal. My eyes widened at her profanity, I liked it much more than I should have. The laughter she had been holding all came out now. I loved it, so I just looked on. When she had calmed down I shook my head.

"I haven't done anything, she was a rescue dog. She had it pretty hard before I got here." I explained and her laughing stopped, her eyes started watering up.

"Aww… you poor thing." she said softly, bending her knees and going to pet Abby. I panicked.

"Don't!" I all but yelled and instantly felt guilty when she flinched.

"She had been really badly treated and she doesn't trust new people, she growls and goes to snap sometimes. But she's getting better." I justified in a weak voice. She still looked sad.

Of course, Abby liked to make me look like an idiot. When she crouched down, the movement must have caught Abby's attention. She went to jump up at her chest causing her to step back; startled. Abby wasn't to be put off and started bounding around the angel's dainty feet and she tumbled, her legs caught up in the lead. As if on reflex, I opened my arms stepping forward and caught her. I pulled her into my body and she felt perfect against me. So warm and inviting and she smelt like strawberries, my senses were overcome with her. My head was swimming with new emotions. Then just like that; the spell broke.

Abby continued to bounce, getting me caught up to and I fell to the floor, bringing the girl with me. Her weight on top of me was heavenly. Abby sniffed at me and obviously found me of no interest, so she began clambering over the girl on top of me, trying to sloppily lick her face as she hid behind her hands whilst giggling furiously. I quickly came to my senses and untangled us before I stood up and offered my hand in assistance. She took it and her palm fit perfectly in mine. Once we were upright, she continued to chuckle softly and looked up at me through her eyelashes again. She was still holding my hand; she noticed and pulled away quickly.

"I'm so sorry." I started but she waved me off.

"Don't be silly at least she's alive. Obviously she doesn't like new people; She's ferocious." she said, acting scared. I laughed. Again.

"That's what I mean; you've got to be careful on these streets" I joked.

"Yeah, I'll watch out for Cujo in future." she laughed, looking at her hands whilst crinkling her nose. I looked on apologetically.

"So, what about you? Not with your girlfriend?" she asked with an expression that I didn't understand.

"No, no I dropped her off after we had dinner." I said, feeling uncomfortable talking about Jessica with this sweet girl. I didn't want her to taint my time with this angel.

"That's a pity. She was a delight." she dead panned. I smirked.

"I'm Edward by the way." I said anxious to change the subject and excited to finally find out her name.

"Nice to meet you Edward, I'm-" she started but I cut her off when I looked towards my apartment building and saw a familiar car parked outside, I knew who would be sitting in it and I didn't want this sweet girl to be subjected to that tonight.

"I- I- I have to g-go. S-sorry" I stuttered, ignoring her protests and confused expression, even though it pained me to do so.

I hurried over to the car and was greeted by a cruel smile.

"Hello Edward. Your mother gave me your address. Aren't you going to invite me up?" I nodded in response, frozen in place.

I hazarded a glance to where the unnamed beauty had been standing, but she had already gone.

**A/N – Thanks, please review and let me know what you think. x**


	3. Mr sexy green eyes

_**A/N- Hi again, thanks again to everyone who has added me to their alerts or fave lists. The response so far has been amazing. I was planning on doing this all EPOV but I got quite a few PM's asking for this POV, so here we go.**_

_**Please review and let me know what you think, feedback really does inspire me to write more.**_

_**Thanks again,**_

_**Gemma**_

_**xxx**_

BPOV

"Thanks for helping us out tonight Bella. I owe you big time." My best friend Angela beamed at me as she threw her arms around me in a hug.

"No worries Ang. Wow! Just look at you, you're showing already." I said and prodded her little bump, causing her to giggle before placing her hand on her stomach with a wistful expression.

I met Angela at high school and we hit it off instantly. I had moved too Forks and changed schools half way through the semester in Junior year when my Mom had remarried and wanted to go travelling with her new, and much younger husband; Phil. I hated playing the third wheel and so I moved to live with my Dad. He was the chief of police in the small town and rarely ever home and at the time I was pretty isolated. Even so, I was still painfully shy and hated the attention of being the new girl. Angela was also pretty quiet and we would hide out together in the school library avoiding all the cliques and obnoxious high school stereotypes. The interest in me eventually died down because it didn't take long for the other kids to realise that plain old Bella was nothing special. Fortunately, my friendship with Angela continued.

Just over a year later, my Dad was shot whilst on duty. I couldn't cope with my grief alone and I moved back to my Mom and Phil in Florida. I hardly saw my Mom at all. She loved the sun and hated to be inside; she would encourage me to be the same and complained that I was always inside with my head in a book.

Then a year ago she was diagnosed with Malignant Melanoma: a form of skin cancer; a consequence of her years in the sun unprotected. She lost the fight three months ago. I had remained in Florida with Phil but it just didn't feel right; we were both struggling with our grief and things were strained to say the least.

I had stayed in touch with Angela since I moved and she told me she had relocated to Chicago and opened a restaurant with her high school sweetheart; Ben. She suggested that I move out here and I didn't think twice. I had nothing keeping me in Florida anymore and I welcomed a fresh start.

Technically I didn't work for Ben and Angela. I was trying to make a name for myself as a freelance writer, having completed my English Masters last year. I really wanted to get into publishing or perhaps work as an editor but it just wasn't happening for me. Those jobs are hard to come by without experience; so I just covered the odd shift at the restaurant when they were struggling, like tonight.

"So, who do we have on tonight then Ang?" I asked with a grin; as I peered through small window in the service door.

"Me, you and Mike serving; Jake is on the front desk." She replied, turning back towards the kitchen.

"No Tanya tonight?"

"No, she's sick again apparently." she said, rolling her eyes.

I chuckled and pinned my hair away from my face, ready to start. Suddenly, Ben appeared from the restaurant floor with a big grin.

"Hi Bella" Ben stated with a nod. "Guys, look at the state of this." He said; gesturing out towards the table that Mike was tending. Andrea started shaking her head angrily as we watched mike leaning into a blonde, heavily made up girl who was looking back at him with a flirty smirk.

"He's a bloody menace!" Angela muttered angrily. "She's here on a date; he'll drive all our customers away at this rate. He nearly got himself beaten up last week for doing exactly this. I had to get Jake to escort the guy out." She continued.

I was trying to contain my laughter but failing miserably and I snorted as mike walked towards the service door. Andrea crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him as he entered. He smiled at her and she slapped him up the back of his head, hard. He rubbed it with a confused frown.

"You are doing it again. Are you stupid?" she asked angrily as Ben chuckled behind her.

"Sorry Ang but she's really hot and to be fair, she doesn't look that into her date." he said, trying to justify himself and failing.

"Don't give a shit. Bella, can you cover that table when they are ready to order. Mike, you can go serve the elderly couple at table three; try not to flirt with anyone over there won't you?" she ordered with a sarcastic glare. Mike huffed but nodded anyway.

I waited around behind the door for a few minutes before heading out to the table to see if they were ready to order. I addressed the girl first and had to admit she was pretty, even if she was dressed inappropriately for a dinner date. I swear if she sneezed, her boob would pop out. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes and allowed my gaze to wander to her date.

Oh holy hell. He was gorgeous. My eyes widened and I prayed I wasn't drooling before I spoke.

I explained that I would be taking over their service from Mike and offered my apologies. I left out the part about Mike being banned from the table for being a letch. Then the gorgeous guy looked up at me and I swear my heart stopped beating. I found myself staring into the most beautiful pair of emerald green eyes I had ever seen. His hair had that wild, sexy look although he had obviously tried to tame it, albeit unsuccessfully. He was dressed in a well-tailored suit that highlighted his broad shoulders perfectly. I let my eyes wander over his face; he had perfect chiseled cheekbones and a wonderfully strong jawline. And my god, I wanted to lick him.

I managed to compose myself and take their orders. The girl's answers were short and snappy; I presumed she was annoyed about the inconsistency of service, what with mike being exiled to the pensioners for his crimes against flirting. Hoping to improve their view of my best friend's business, I added a little comment about the marinade when she ordered the salmon. She just blanked me; her attention focused on a cellphone. I fought hard to keep the polite smile on my face, it was a struggle but I think I managed it.

I turned my attention back to the Adonis sat opposite her and took his order; but he avoided my gaze. I felt as well as saw his eyes roam over my face and he got an odd look on his face. He had still to tell me his order but I didn't want to seem pushy so I just tilted my head in question. He blushed slightly and I thought he looked ashamed but I couldn't be sure. I saw no reason why he would be, he had been perfectly polite. He caught me staring and smiled the most perfect crooked smile back at me. I could feel myself blushing furiously and I ducked my gaze from his; embarrassed by my faux pas. I was desperate to find out if his voice was as attractive as he was and I was not disappointed; it was like velvet.

"Sorry, erm…" he started, and chuckled softly, avoiding my gaze again. "I'd like the steak, medium r-rare" he stuttered slightly and I smiled back at him wildly. I found him adorable and caught myself staring at his lips before licking my own in anticipation. I thought for sure he would know what I had been thinking and I hid my eyes from his; I blushed furiously as he stared at me with kind eyes. I was about to excuse myself when Angela approached with the drinks.

"So, I have a soda..." she said as a question, the blonde rolled her eyes, gesturing to her date and said something about him being dull or dull drinks or something. I was distracted because the way she looked down on him made me want to claw her eyes out. She seemed to be snapping at him a lot but he never spoke back, instead just mumbling apologies.

I wanted to defend him or kick her ass.

Then it was my turn to embarrass myself again. For some reason I felt the need to protect the Greek God from this ice queen and so I started going on about the Benefits of soda water at meal times. He smiled back awkwardly, I presumed he was either bored or thought I was mad. The girl huffed and my dislike for her was rapidly growing.

Angela set down the girls champagne flute, and she muttered "finally" in a rude tone. I set the bottle on ice at the side of the table and we excused ourselves after exchanging a knowing look at the sight of the girl drinking champagne alone.

"You wouldn't catch me drinking if I was her, I'd want to remember a night with a guy like that." Angela whispered in my ear.

"I know, right? What a lush." I said; a little too loud causing Angela to look at me wide eyed and she made a shushing sound. My hand flew up to cover my mouth and she started laughing at me, ushering me into the kitchen.

I told Ben their order and tended tables until it was ready. I forced myself not to keep staring in his direction although I faltered a few times. Something about him just kept pulling me back in. When I delivered their food, I had a strange feeling in my stomach; I didn't want this girl to be on this date. She wasn't worthy of him; he should be worshipped, but she kept putting him down. He looked as though it was getting to him but he kept forcing a smile. My heart soared when I thought that his smiles for me seemed more genuine. I reminded myself that I was being stupid, he was on a date with this gorgeous, albeit obnoxious girl; he would never be interested in dull old Bella.

I left them to their meal as another party was ushered in by Jake; he looked at me with a big toothy grin and I found myself smiling back.

"Hey, lucky you getting to serve Mr. sexy green eyes, Bells. What happened to mike?" he asked, leaning into me.

"Tried picking up the guys date." I said with a grimace.

"She'd eat him alive, babes." He guffawed. "She was right up my ass when I ushered them in. Can you believe that? If I was with a guy like that, I wouldn't notice anyone else." he purred, wiggling his eyebrows and I couldn't help but laugh slightly. I nodded in agreement.

I headed over to the latest patrons and began taking their orders and chatting lightly with them. I willed myself not to stare back at Mr. sexy green eyes but I slipped up. My heart and smile sank when I looked over; he was holding hands with the girl on top of the table and I felt sick. I don't know why I was surprised; he brought her on a date after all. I hated that he affected me this way.

Sure, he was beautiful but what did that matter to me?

I forced myself to snap out of it; shaking my head to clear it of my ridiculous thoughts. I walked towards their table and couldn't help but smile slightly as my eyes locked with emerald ones; I could get lost in them for days and still come out with a grin on my face.

"It's like you were saying the other day; you don't want me to end up in some low life job like waitressing do you babes?" The girl at the table beside me spoke with a hint of malice in her voice and a smirk on her face. The way she called him 'babes' grated on me; the endearment didn't suit the couple and her tone was far too spiteful to make it appear loving.

I was mortified when tears began to prick at my eyes at her words. I would never see her again so I didn't really care what she thought of me but the idea that this man would judge me in such a way irked me for some reason. It shouldn't, it was illogical; I would never see him again either.

"I'm quite sure I said nothing of the sort Jessica."He snapped back in a harsh tone, throwing me an apologetic glance as I gestured to take their plates, I wanted them out of here as soon as possible; I was determined not to cry.

It struck me that this was the first time that I had heard him speak up to her all night, despite her attitude towards him. I would have been impressed had I not just been insulted by the pair of them

"Oh yes, of course sweetheart." The little bitch giggled, looking victorious.

I avoided eye contact as I asked if they wanted anything else; I was about to lose the fight against my tears and I hated it. The man politely declined, the girl looked as though she was about to ask for something but he spoke over her for the first time this evening; his demeanor towards her different somehow, the atmosphere tense now. No doubt worried I would spit in his dessert after his girlfriend's little slip; wise man. He opened and closed his mouth, looking as though he wanted to say something else. I looked away briefly and mumbled assurances that I would send the bill over shortly. I turned away from the table as the tears started to fall.

By the time I reached the service area I was full out crying, my shoulders shaking with sobs and my make up running down my face. Ben took one look at me and ten glanced around looking lost, he didn't say a word to me, he just turned and walked into the back room. All that was back there were the main food store and the freezers, Ben was the chef here, having trained after high school. Cooking was his passion, Angela said he liked it because he could eat what he wanted and didn't have to deal with people he didn't know. It was perfect for him. I was a little disappointed that he didn't at least ask if I was ok but it didn't surprise me; Ben was really quiet. I assumed he was just going to carry on preparing the food so I was shocked when he returned with a huge tub of ice cream. I looked at him confused. He rolled his eyes as if it was obvious. I chuckled and wiped my tears, he shook his head as if he had done something stupid and handed me a tissue.

I cleaned myself up a little and then looked to him, holding up the tub in question. He let out a single laugh.

"You probably remember from school that I grew up with just my dad and my brothers' right?" he said, looking at me for confirmation. I nodded in between whimpers and he continued.

"Well, there wasn't a lot of crying in that house; so the only person I've ever seen cry is Ang. I know how to deal with that though; I can either run her a bath or get her chocolate ice cream and she'll cheer right up. Well, I thought the bath would be inappropriate right now." He chuckled. I tried to laugh with him but I just started sniffling again.

"Your face looks all weird; like its melting" he said in a soft tone, like he was talking to an infant. I looked at him blankly and opened the ice cream.

"I'll get Ang." He deadpanned. I nodded.

He shuffled off quickly with a panicked expression and I dug into the dessert, it was good. The tears continued to flow but more slowly now. There was something endearing about Ben when he tried to be sweet. He would make a good dad, even if he did have a habit of saying the wrong thing. His heart was in the right place. I was still sniffling when Angela rushed in with a worried expression; she was holding her arms out ready for me. I welcomed the gesture immediately. She stroked my hair as she asked what was wrong. I explained what had happened with the table and Angela stiffened with an angry expression. She let go of me gently and marched to the drawer, grabbing a spoon for herself before digging in to the now softening ice cream.

"That bitch" she spat, shaking her head. Mike entered the back with some empty plates and looked at us surprised.

"Remember the table you were banished from earlier?" she asked mike abruptly. He nodded.

"Well, green eyes and his slutalicious little friend have upset Bella. Can you take them their check?" Mike looked at me with soft eyes, and then nodded; his lips forming a tight smile.

Mike left and I leant my head on Angela's shoulder; I looked up to her with a sad smile.

"So, he's a dick then." She said in a matter of fact way.

"Yup"

"He was hot though" she said with a curt nod.

"Yup" I quipped.

"You go home, its dead out there now." she said and I nodded. "Plus you're kind of scary looking right now." she said with a smile.

"That's what Ben said." I told her honestly.

"Yeah, he was crapping his pants when he found me. I think he was worried you'd start talking about cramps or something, that shit makes him all stress-y. I'm pretty sure he's hoping for a boy" she laughed and patted her belly. I smiled back and wiped my face.

Mike stuck his head around the door and told us that they had gone and I got my things together and got ready to leave.

"Tell Ben thanks for me won't you?" I said as I gave her a tight hug.

"Will do he's just clearing everything up ready to close now you know?" she said with a nod. "That and avoiding your tears like the plague" he smile was infectious, I smiled back.

"Call me tomorrow and we'll grab a coffee." She shouted as I headed out the door. I nodded back.

I jumped in my beat up old truck and headed home quickly. It was still early when I arrived back, earlier than I expected to get home at any rate. My truck looked out of place next to the shiny cars in my garage complex but I liked it and that's all that mattered. I had only lived in this building a few weeks, after living with Ben and Angela for a while when I first moved out here. It was a little pretentious but was quiet and safe which is what I was after. I got into the lift to my floor and leant my head against the wall after the doors shut. I closed my eyes and thought of the guy from tonight; I didn't even know his name. He had seemed nice though, I was obviously a really bad judge of character. Not that it mattered; I wouldn't see him again anyway. So, why couldn't I stop thinking of him then?

I growled to myself for being so ridiculous and entered my apartment. It was cold and quiet and didn't help my mood any. I checked my messages but it was clear; nobody wanted me. I looked out at my view of the Chicago skyline for a little while but I was restless, the man from tonight still dominating my thoughts in an irritating fashion. I grumbled to myself again and decided I needed a distraction.

I looked at the clock and it wasn't too late, and it was staying lighter later at this time of year. I decided a short run would clear my head and get me back my sanity. I desperately needed the distraction. I changed into an old sports top and some plain yoga pants and went to head out. I grabbed my keys and the can of pepper spray that I kept in the drawer by the door; I guess I was still the police chief's daughter. I laughed to myself at the thought. Thinking of my dad always made me sad, then I would think about my mom and I couldn't afford to do that right now. If I focused too long on what I had lost I would never get up in the morning. I had to think of something else but the only thing that came to mind was the same guy that was dominating my every thought now. This was a culture shock to me, I had never really even dated except for a couple of blind dates last year before my mom got sick but none of them had ever gone past the first date. I didn't react to men this way; what was going on with me?

I sighed as I stretched out my already tired muscles and jogged slowly away from my building. It always seemed no matter which way I ran I always ended up moving against the foot traffic and it got really annoying avoiding people, even at this time of night these streets were still busy. I decided to call it a night and took a short cut along one of the streets I knew to be a little quieter; there was nothing up here except a couple of extremely prestigious apartment buildings so it was usually pretty dead up here. Green eyes still consumed my thoughts and I found myself smiling reluctantly. He had been polite; I wished I could just forget about him though. He had a girlfriend anyway and I would never even see him again. I was crushing on the unobtainable.

Fuck my life.

I looked across the street and there he was in all his glory, completely unaware of my shameless staring. All of a sudden, as if on cue; he looked up and locked eyes with me. He looked confused and I felt myself blush anew, both with shame from being caught staring again and because I hadn't reapplied my make-up. I probably looked hideous. I doubted I could get away with running in the other direction, he had his head tilted to the side as if he was trying to figure out if it was me or not. I sighed deeply and decided to bite the bullet as I jogged towards him. I came to a stop just in front of him and smiled in greeting.

"Hello again" I said with a smile, hoping this was the right decision.

He stammered out a jumbled greeting in the cutest way, he seemed almost nervous and I couldn't help but smile. He and lost the suit jacket and loosened his tie, he looked stressed but still very appealing. I gulped audibly and resisted the urge to run my hands through his tortured looking hair. I teased him a little and he joked back in a friendly way, he was so different that he had been tonight and I felt more confident here somehow. Now that we were on equal footing and I wasn't serving him. I even managed to conveniently forget about his girlfriend as we spoke. He was looking at me intensely and laughing freely, I found myself returning the gesture. It felt easy to joke with him, natural; like breathing.

Then his expression became concerned and he enquired about me being out alone late at night, he was concerned about my safety. I was touched by his concern, more than I was willing to admit to myself. I explained to him that I was alert and had my pepper spray and he seemed somewhat appeased by this but didn't look fully convinced. I explained that I didn't usually go out at this time but I had needed to clear me head, he seemed to nod in understanding. What I failed to tell him is that he was the reason my head needed clearing in the first place. That my every thought was consumed with him and those thoughts were not always respectable. I blushed again; it was a merciless affliction.

It was then that I looked down and noticed the dog lying by his feet. It was a Labrador and looked perfectly still, lying on the street; obviously not a care in the world. Its fur was all ruffled and sticking up all over, as a pet it suited him; unassuming but somehow managing to grab your attention. I liked it already. I started to joke with him about the lifelessness of his companion and found him joking back. He had me in stitches laughing; I couldn't remember the last time that I felt so alive. He seemed to be enjoying himself too, his smile was genuine and his eyes were sparkling. I found myself feeling proud because I was the one who made him look that way. It felt right to joke like this and so I pushed the events of tonight to the back of my mind. It felt nice.

When he mentioned that his dog was deaf and blind in one eye I made a joke about it but instantly felt guilty when he said she was a rescue dog and had been treated badly before he got her. So, he obviously had a kind heart, it takes a strong man to want to heal a creature that has been so badly hurt. I was contemplating this as I went to pet her, but his voice stopped me in my tracks.

"Don't" he ordered and admittedly I was a little scared, I recoiled immediately and made to stand. He went on to explain that she could be nervous around new people and he was afraid of her snapping at me. I felt a little ashamed for assuming it was ok for me to touch her; I had overstepped my boundaries and I was sure my chagrin was written all over my face.

I was shocked out of my musings by two large paws on my chest, and my god they were heavy, there was life in her after all. I stepped back without thinking, wanting to steady myself; this caused the dog to fall back to her feet. She became excitable and started bouncing around my feet; next thing I know clumsy Bella strikes again and I'm caught up in the lead and heading to the floor. I braced myself for the impact but what o felt next surprised me.

I was enveloped in two strong arms, the embrace was warm and he smelled manly and comforting. I felt myself pulled against his body and I melted into the unexpected embrace, I closed my eyes and let myself enjoy being held for a moment. Suddenly, I was lay on top of him on the floor, and yet I still didn't object; it just felt right. I covered my face with my hands and couldn't contain my giggles as the dog lapped at my face excitedly. I felt the man shift underneath me as he clambered to his feet. He offered me his hand to help me up and I accepted, holding it a little longer than was necessary. I noticed and pulled away quickly, blushing once again.

He started to apologize but I waved this off; it wasn't his fault, I had always been a magnet for accidents but he didn't need to know this. We joked again for a little while before I stupidly asked about his girlfriend. He looked sheepish and a little angry about something and said he had dropped her off after dinner. I couldn't help but wonder if they had had an argument; I was ashamed to admit that I secretly hoped that they had.

"That's a pity. She was a delight." The snide comment was out of my mouth before I realized, it was so unlike me to be catty. I must have looked shocked but I was pleased to see that he didn't appear upset; on the contrary, he was smirking back at me.

He introduced himself as Edward and I was surprised to find that such an old fashioned name actually suited him. It was traditional and understated; I liked it and had a desperate urge to hear it from my own lips.

"Nice to meet you Edward, I'm-" I started to introduce myself, smiling at the mention of his name. My smile faded when I saw his face, he blanched and looked panicked. He stuttered out an apology and said he had to go. I stood there frozen for a minute until I saw him head towards a car. I couldn't see who was in it because the windows were heavily tinted and it was getting dark outside now. I stood alone on the street for a moment before it hit me. Whoever was in that car, he desperately didn't want them to see him with me, the thought made me feel sick. I spun on my heels and ran home with the tears flowing.

I would forget about this man; I was determined. He was unavailable and unpredictable; I didn't need a man like that. It didn't matter that he was the only man who had ever held my attention in this way. Or that he consumed my thoughts entirely, even though I hardly knew anything about him.

Yes, I vowed to myself to forget about him. I don't think I believed it possible even then. I was lost the second I saw those sexy green eyes.


	4. Having hope and changing perspectives

_**A/N: Hi again, we are back to Edward's POV. Most of this story will be from his perspective with other POV's for the major bits. I don't want to just repeat the entire story from Bella's POV but will always do a Bella chapter if someone requests it.**_

_**I just want to say a big thank you to everyone who reviewed or added me to fave's and alerts last chapter. My alert list is huge now, so thanks guys!**_

_**As always I would love to hear what you think so please review if you can.**_

_**Thanks everyone!**_

_**Gemma xx**_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing. All credit goes to Stephanie Meyer.**_

EPOV

"Hello Edward. Your mother gave me your address. Aren't you going to invite me up?" I nodded in response, frozen in place.

I hazarded a glance to where the unnamed beauty had been standing, but she had already gone.

I slowly filed up the stairs to my apartment; dreading what would happen when we got there. I closed the door gently behind us and inhaled a shaky breath to calm myself before turning around; I was immediately confronted with my father's familiar condescending smirk. I decided to make this as easy on myself as possible and waited for him to speak first; knowing that anything I had to say would likely only be met with a hateful remark anyway. He merely smiled back arrogantly; clearly amused by my discomfort. I cleared my throat, anxious for him to speak; he quirked his head in response and smiled back knowingly.

I was suddenly very aware that this was the first time my father had been to my apartment and I looked around anxiously for anything that he could find disagreeable. He picked up on my discomfort and sighed audibly.

"S-sorry Dad, c-can I get y-you a d-drink?" I stammered out nervously, suddenly feeling very self conscious.

"Scotch" he replied with narrowed eyes. I nodded in response.

I walked over to the cupboard in the kitchen that held the scotch, not having a need for a liquor cabinet as I was never much of a drinker myself. I noticed my hand trembling as I poured him a double measure, knowing better than to comment on the fact that he had driven here but also praying against hope that he didnt intend on staying here long enough to need his glass refilled.

I handed him his glass and his eyes widened. He downed the amber fluid in one gulp before he turned to me.

"Single malt. Good stuff too; you do surprise me Edward." he said with a grimace.

"Grandfather gave it to me when I graduated college." I answered honestly and in a quiet voice. I thought back to that day and was reminded of the fact that the man in front of me hadn't even turned up when I graduated, let alone given me a gift. I felt as well as sounded like a child in this moment and I was becoming more and more nervous by the minute. My father had never paid me a visit before and I was anxious to find out why he was here now. What little confidence I did possess was slipping away rapidly. It was hard to believe that it was only a quarter of an hour ago that I had been holding that sweet girl in my arms; albeit accidentally. That brief moment had a great effect on me and I hadn't had nearly long enough to savour it. My fathers favourite cruel smirk returned as he spoke.

"That was a delightful looking girl you were talking to before Edward. What's her name?" he asked with a lewd expression and it made my skin crawl to consider what was going through his head when he saw her with me tonight.

"I-I-I don't know, I er... We're not friends or anything. I just met her today." I stumbled out nervously. It pained me to admit to my father that I didn't know the girls name and to realise what I had said to him was true. I wasn't friends with this girl. I didn't know her at all, yet my mind was consumed with her. It also felt wrong to discuss this girl with my father; she seemed too pure for that. She was certainly too innocent for the thoughts that I knew were going through his mind.

"What, you just met her in the street did you?" He accused, he was raising his voice now and it made me feel small in comparison to him. "What will your mother say when she hears you have been rolling around with random whores on street corners?" He sneered with a cruel smirk; I blanched at his words.

"No, no it's not like that I-I-I..." I couldn't form my words properly; he was intimidating me and he knew it.

"Come on boy! Get your words out. Man up, for Fuck sake!" he shouted in my face. He was stood up tall and had his shoulders squared back, I had to resist the urge to cower back from him.

"I met her at the restaurant when I took Jessica out to dinner." My voice still wavered when I spoke; causing him to laugh back at me.

His brow was furrowed and he tapped his thumb against his pursed lips as if deep in thought. He eventually sighed before he spoke again.

"Was she there on a date?" he was pushing me for information and I didnt like it at all. This wasnt going to end well.

"No, she was working." I said plainly whilst closing my eyes and running a hand through my hair, waiting for his reaction.

"So, what? She's a fucking waitress?" He laughed loudly and shook his head in amusement. "She saw you there all suited up, it's plain to see that you had money. Fuck! She saw you coming eh?"

"It's not like that dad, we were just talking." I could feel my eyes stinging and desperately tried to hold back the tears.

"Didn't look like fucking talking. I saw you with her, clinging to her on the street. Fucking pathetic; no wonder she ran off." his face was cruel and his words stung.

I started to wonder if he could be right; I had made it more than obvious that I was attracted to her. Did I come on too strong and scare her away?

"Fucking pathetic" he repeated. "I dont want to waste any more time on you; you're a waste of space. So, I'll just say what I came here to say." he stated with a disgusted expression.

"Your mother tells me that you are bringing that Jessica girl to the house for lunch tomorrow. Is this right?" he quizzed with a harsh tone. I nodded, unable to trust my voice.

"Your grandfather is coming up tomorrow." He said; his voice void of emotion as he fixed me in an angry glare. "I am telling you now; you will not bring that girl to the house. In fact, I dont even want you there; you are nothing but an embarrassment. I mean it Edward, I better not see you there or the shit will hit the fan. Do you fucking understand me?" I stared back at him, dumbfounded. I must have eventually nodded minutely because his face went blank as he spoke again.

"Good" With this; he turned on his heel and left, slamming the door behind him.

I stared after him completely confused about what had just happened. He was the one who had encouraged me to go out with Jessica; I didn't even like her if I'm honest. When Emmett introduced us, I only agreed to go out with her to please my father and to get him off my case about me not dating. He had been telling me all along that a loser like me would be lucky to get a girl like Jessica to go out with me but then again, he hadn't seen her true colours. Still; I couldn't understand why he would now be so against her coming.

I thought about my grandfather visiting, it would be good to see him. We were very close and although we hadn't seen each other in a few months; we spoke on the phone every few days. We usually kept each other up to date on everything and so it was unusual that he didnt tell me that he was coming.

I noticed that the light was blinking again on the answering machine; I had five new messages. Three were from my mother warning me of my father's visit, each one more frantic than the last. I also had one from Alice arranging to meet me at 10am for brunch tomorrow before the family got together in the evening and finally one form my grandfather asking that I call him as soon as I could. I promptly sent my mother a text message, in reply to the 14 panicked ones that she had left on my cell. I assured her that I was ok after seeing my father and that I would indeed see her tomorrow. I tried not to think of the consequences of that decision.

I called my grandfather and he answered on the second ring.

"Edward?" he guessed in a panicked tone, which was unusual for him as he was generally the epitome of laid back.

"Yeah it's me, are you ok? Dad says you're coming down tomorrow." I replied, hoping the disappointment didn't show in my tone. I was pleased that he was coming but I had to admit that I was somewhat perturbed that he hadn't told me.

"Yeah, it's all a bit last minute. That's what I wanted to talk to you about." He said ominously. I hummed for him to continue, not trusting my voice to hold.

I still found myself to be shaking slightly from the altercation with my father. I had so many things that I wanted to say to him, ways in which I wanted to defend myself; but I knew I'd never be able to stand up to him. Every time I was in the same room as my father, I reverted back to a childlike state; scared and desperate for approval. I shook my head slightly, bringing me back to the present and forced myself to listen to my grandfather.

My grandfather always planned everything meticulously, so it worried me that he was visiting spontaneously. I knew there're had to be a reason behind it; I just hoped desperately that his health hadn't deteriorated enough to lead to an impromptu visit.

"Have you any idea why I got a distraught phone call from your mother today Edward?" he asked, his voice full of emotion.

Although my father was his son by birth, Grandpa Anthony loved my mother as if she was his own. They too were very close and he was understandably anxious to find out what had upset her. I told him that I had no idea why she had been distressed but if I was to hazard a guess I would say it had something to do with my father. He agreed, knowing all too well what his son was capable of.

"This can go no further Edward." He warned and I acquiesced. "Your mother has asked for my professional advice, she was very distressed and didn't want to talk about it over the phone. She offered to come up here Edward. That's why I'm coming tomorrow; if she disappeared up here then there would be hell to pay with your father when she got back." He continued but I stopped him.

"Wait, I don't think you should be telling me this, not if you know that she wants it kept quiet. I don't like going behind my mother's back." I said earnestly.

"You know Edward; I love you like a son, but you're dense at times. Your mother knows full well I'll tell you. Hell, how do you think she planned on getting up here? She was going to ask you to drive her. It's about time you started seeing yourself for what you are, son." His voice cracked and he inhaled deeply.

"You know your mother will never admit to taking favourites and lord know she loves all the children she has been blessed with, and so do I. But shit boy, she'd tell you anything you ask. I know you are close to her and that's why I asked if you knew why she would need my advice. I'm an old man now, what good am I?" he said the last bit in a mocking tone and I couldn't help but laugh.

I was concerned about my mother though; he was right to be worried about her needing his professional advice. My grandfather was long since retired but in his prime, he was a very successful lawyer; the best Chicago had seen in decades. My father had followed in his footsteps and he too was good, but not a match on Grandpa Anthony. I wondered why my mother would need legal advice and why she couldn't go to my father for it. My inner musings were interrupted when my grandfather spoke again.

"Besides; Esme wants you to be there." I was sure I had misheard him

"I'm sorry, what? Why me?"

"I know as much as you do, but she wants you there with her; whatever it is, she wants you to be the first to know about it. Do you have plans for tomorrow before Sunday lunch?" I informed him that I was having problems of my own and that I was meeting Alice at ten. He told me to meet him at his boat at midday and that my mother would already be there with him. There was no danger of my father objecting because he would be at the golf club all day. I agreed and we said our goodbyes.

By the time I crawled into bed, my head was absolutely spinning. It had been a long and thoroughly exhausting day and tomorrow was looking no better. My mind wouldn't switch off; it was filled with worries about Jessica and of my father's reaction to us both turning up tomorrow. Not to mention how Alice was going to help me get Jessica out of my life for good and then there was the knowledge that my mother seeking the help of an esteemed lawyer behind my father's back. I needed to relax and decided to head to bed.

After completing my night time routine and changing into a pair of sleep pants, I got into bed. No sooner had my head hit the pillow than my mind was consumed with images of the girl in the street today. I smiled as I thought of the warmth of her body as I caught her in my arms or her slight weight against me as we tumbled to the floor together. I recalled how she had fled before I had a chance to explain my rudeness. That was twice that I had met her now and twice that I had upset her. I doubted I would get a third chance.

I eventually fell into a fitful sleep; haunted by images of tear filled chocolate eyes. I awoke to my alarm blaring me into consciousness.

I silenced the alarm and let my head fall back against the pillow. What felt like moments later, I awoke again to a loud banging at the front door. I wandered bleary eyed and almost fell over Abby once along the way. I opened the door to be greeted by a set of tiny arms wrapping around my waist in a vice like grip.

"Good morning, big brother!" Alice chirped as she breezed past me. I grumbled in return and she turned to face me. "You look like shit, why is that?" She asked, in a sweet voice as she tilted her head to the side in question.

"I'm ok" I yawned out and ruffled her hair. "Why are you so early?"

"Mom told me that dad came round here last night. She wants you to call her, she's doing her stressy face and dad's gone to the Golf Club already." I nodded with my eyes closed and sat down on the sofa.

"You smell good sis. Why's that?" I asked absent mindedly; still half asleep.

"Does it smell like this?" She giggled as the smell got stronger. I nodded, still not bothering to open my eyes.

"Cinnamon bagels and coffee, not me. I thought you would be feeling like shit after yesterday. So, I figured instead of brunch we could have bagels in our pyjamas." She said with a smile as i cracked one eye open to look at her. I smiled back wide and hummed my agreement.

"Cool, you call mom and I'll go change into my pyjamas." She said as she flitted off with a bag I hadn't even noticed that she was carrying. I knew Alice better than to think she would be seen outside in her pyjamas but it still made me laugh that she had brought them with her for my pity breakfast, knowing she would never be seen outside in a less than perfect outfit.

I took a large swig of coffee as I picked up the phone to call my mother. I braced myself for her reaction to the call. I knew she would have been up worrying all night.

"Hi mom."

"Oh my dear baby, thank God! What happened? Are you alright? Have you slept? Have you been crying?" she fired her questions out far too fast for me to process efficiently and I attempted to ask her to calm down but a strange noise came out of my mouth instead. I rolled my eyes: I was stupidly tired this morning.

"What was that? Are you sick? Are you hurt?" she screeched sounding panicked. I heard keys jangling in the background.

"I'm fine mom, just tired. I didn't sleep well. Please don't get in the car." I said with a small smile; I knew her so well.

"I wasn't going to." she lied. "What happened last night Edward?" she asked and I was pleased to notice that she sounded a lot calmer now.

I went on to explain about my father's surprise visit and that I had missed her messages warning me to expect him. She did not react well when I told her about my father warning me to stay away from Sunday lunch. When I told her this, she asked to speak to Alice but before she had finished her sentence, my sister was by my side, wearing her pyjamas and holding her hand out for the phone.

"She wants to speak to me." Alice stated plainly. I tilted my head in question, it always astounded me how she was so in tune with everyone, almost like she could predict what they would do next. She mouthed "oracle" at me with a smile and I laughed lightly.

Alice spoke to mom for a few minutes then rolled her eyes at me.

"Yes mom, I'll make sure he comes… he'll be there… I didn't know he was bringing her." She scowled at me; I assumed she now knew I was bringing Jessica. I smirked back but quickly stopped when she started to look really mad. "He will come, don't worry… no he's fine, he looks like shit but I'll fix that…yeah sure…no there's no time, speak to him later…he knows you love him…I'm hanging up now mom, bye." She huffed and threw the handset onto the sofa.

"She didn't want to say bye to me?" I asked with a mock pout, just as my cell phone chirped indicating a text message. I looked at Alice with a smirk and she quirked a brow at me as I read it.

_**Love you Dear. Please come to lunch. I want you here. ~ Mom**_

I smiled and nodded smugly at Alice as she began her breakfast. She piled sugar into her coffee and rolled her hand at me to tell me to hurry up.

I sat on the sofa and she joined me with a sad smile.

"So, what happened with Jessica?" she spat her name as if it was venom in her mouth.

I sighed and regaled the tale from dinner last night, from what she had said in the restaurant to her threat and demands for money. It seemed like so long ago, so much had happened since then. I still didn't even know the name of the waitress from last night. Alice was fuming over Jessica when I looked over to her. Whereas, I just felt numb and I wanted it to be over now. More than anything, I just wanted another chance to hold the girl from the restaurant; I couldn't get the feel of her off my mind. I was so consumed with thoughts of this girl that Alice surprised me when she spoke.

"Please tell me you will let me help you now brother, I won't take over I promise." Alice pleaded with sad eyes, I nodded quickly.

"I need you to help me Alice; I would never be able to stand up to her on my own. I really am pathetic; I can't even defend myself against a girl like Jessica." I avoided eye contact with my sister; I was ashamed to need her in this way. She didn't try to deny what I had said because she knew that I wouldn't accept her words anyway. She just gave me a tight hug and told me everything would be okay; she knew me so well.

We finished breakfast but remained in our sleep clothes for the rest of the morning, watching movies and talking. I told Alice that I had something to do at midday but didn't tell her what it was. I knew if I asked her to keep it a secret that she would but it might cause an atmosphere between her and my mother if she felt that we were keeping something from her and I didn't want that.

Alice said that she and Rose would talk to Jessica after the dinner today and get her to back off. She had an evil looking smirk on her face when she suggested this and so I guessed that there was more to the plan than she had told me. It was ridiculous that a man of my age couldn't handle his own love life or lack of one anyway. I knew I couldn't though, just because I had come wise to the kind of person she was, didn't mean that I could stand up to her. I still found her very intimidating and if I am completely honest, I was afraid of her in some ways. I was afraid of her causing problems with my family. I was afraid of what stories she would tell my mother and father to get revenge or money from me. It wasn't that I was afraid of her accusing me of being gay; I knew I wasn't and my mom would be accepting either way anyway. I just didn't want to give my father another reason to be ashamed of me or disappointed. I just wanted an easy life; but, it didn't look like I was going to get it.

"Come on, get into the shower. I'll get your clothes ready, and I'll see you later for Sunday lunch with the family!" she shouted and threw her arms out in mock enthusiasm before she rolled her eyes.

I rushed my shower and tried unsuccessfully to tame my hair. It was just after eleven when I had dressed in the grey slacks and green button down that Alice had left out for me. I looked for her in the lounge but she was nowhere to be found, I decided to just get ready to go. I noticed that both Abby and my keys were missing so I assumed Alice had decided to take her around the block. I had a busy day ahead and so I was grateful for all the help I could get. I gathered up what little things I would need for today and got ready to leave. I had been sat waiting nervously for ten minutes when Alice bounced through the door, still as happy as ever, even though she was physically dragging a grumpy looking Abby behind her. I rolled my eyes at the sight of the two of them together. Alice chuckled back and let Abby off her lead, she immediately ran into the den. I desperately wanted to join her and hide for the rest of the day. I pondered that for a minute until I noticed that Alice was smirking at me with a glint in her eye.

"What?" I demanded.

"Hey, remember how you asked me to find out the name of a waitress for you?" she started, watching me intently. She was no doubt observing me closely for my reaction, I tried hard to keep my face impassive but I was sure that I was failing. I nodded slightly. "Well, I spoke to Angela and she only has one female server working there."

"Who's Angela?" I asked confused.

"She owns the restaurant, keep up." She snapped playfully. I looked at my watch; I was running out of time. I flashed Alice a tight lipped smile, hoping that she would pick up on the hint and tell the story quickly.

"Yeah, so I thought that must be your girl." My eyes shot to hers when she said this.

_Your girl. My girl._ I like that thought. She noticed and smirked.

"Angela says she's the only waitress on the books. Her name is Tanya. Why do you owe her flowers?" I told her that Jessica had been rude to her and she nodded in understanding.

"I thought it must be something like that. Angela says she wasn't working last night though." She said and I looked back at her confused.

"But they do have this friend who helps out when they are short, she's an English grad; just moved out here, nice girl apparently." She ended and glanced around innocently, she was definitely on to me. I didn't care though; not if she could tell me something about this girl.

"Huh, so you think that's the girl Jessica was mean to, then?" I asked innocently. She barked out a laugh.

"Yes brother, yes I do. I also think that it's the same girl you were catching on the street when dad turned up last night. Angela told me she tripped over the dog lead or something." She grinned widely at me and I could feel myself blushing. I started to defend myself but she waved me off.

"It doesn't matter brother, I'm just glad you got to touch a girl, finally." She said and I rolled my eyes. Her tone was playful; she wasn't mocking me maliciously, it was just her way.

"Then I picked up your mail for you while I was downstairs, and now I know for sure that we've found your girl." She stated proudly and I looked to her in question and reached for my mail. She tossed a few letters to the side, clearly not interested in them but she still held a slip of notepaper in her hand. I reached for it and she beamed back triumphantly as she handed it to me.

"_**What you see and hear depends a good deal on where you are standing; it also depends on what kind of a person you are"**_

**C . S . Lewis (1898 – 1963)**

**It was nice to meet you Edward, I'm sorry for running off like that.**

**Bella x**

I stared back at Alice and couldn't help but smile.

"She ran off last night, when she saw dad." I explained to Alice, surprised when she shook her head.

"She didn't see him, she just saw you run off to the car in a panic. She thought you didn't want to be seen with her." She stated and I felt sick.

_She thought I was ashamed to be seen with her, but she's stunning._

"Why would she think that?" I asked in disbelief.

"Wake the fuck up Edward, from the sounds of it you two were flirting in the street; after she had served you and your girlfriend dinner. Angela told me that Bella assumed it was Jessica in the car. That's why she ran off; she thought you were a love rat." She giggled the last part. I couldn't cope with one girlfriend let alone two, and besides; Bella wasn't flirting with me was she?

_Bella: beautiful. It fits perfectly._

I explained to Alice that I had to put this right. She pointed out that Bella must at least be willing to hear me out if she had left the note. I nodded in agreement, still deep in thought.

"You're going to be late; its half past." She said, calling me out of my reverie. "Do you still want to send flowers? I could send them through Ang. I've explained what a bitch Jessica is and she doesn't think you're such a dick now. She'll probably pass them on to Bella." She said with a wink. I sighed deeply, another on the list of people who dislike me.

"Yeah, send a bouquet of two dozen variegated tulips with one purple hyacinth in the centre." I said with a nod, I had been thinking about this since last night. I wanted the flowers to mean something, this was perfect. As usual Alice didn't miss a trick.

"That's very specific, it means something doesn't it?" she asked but I just laughed back.

"Fine I'll Google it when you leave." I knew she would anyway. "I knew you'd be a real fucking romantic once you got going. I'm so excited."

I told her to calm down and stressed that it was just an apology and that I was not involved with the girl in anyway. But I knew that I wanted to be and that was an unusual feeling for me.

I smiled to myself and grabbed a piece of notepaper from the telephone table before scribbling a quote on it and handing it to Alice.

"Have them put this on the card please sister." I said and noticed that her eyes watered up as she read it.

She nodded and I kissed her forehead before I rushed off to my grandfather's boat to meet him and my mother. I was anxious to hear her news; I hoped I had a good reason for keeping it from Alice.

As I drove to the docks, I thought about the quote I had given to Alice for the flowers and how fitting it was for me right now.

_**Hope is a waking dream.**_

**Aristotle**

Everything was up in the air at the moment; nothing was secure and I wasn't sure how anything would work out. I was experiencing all these knew feelings and I wasn't equipped to deal with them. All I had was hope.

_**A/N – please review and let me know what you think. I think I replied to all of my reviews from the last chapter. If I missed anybody then I'm so sorry. I really do appreciate each and every one though. **_

_**Thanks guys. Edward's meeting with his grandfather and Esme up next. What is she so desperate for him to know hmmm…**_


	5. sailing free

_**A/N – Ok, I've nothing to say so I'll just get right into it. Last chapter left off with Edward on his way to meet Esme and Grandpa.**_

_**Thanks to everyone for your reviews, I hope I replied to everyone, if I missed you I'm so sorry. Also, thanks to everyone who added me to fave/alert lists. You guys are all absolutely brilliant!**_

_**I just want to point out that I live in Britain and know nothing about the laws and procedures mentioned in this chapter, so if I'm way off I apologise. I have tried to research it as best I can, but it's not easy form across the pond and it's only a bi-line in the story. Go easy on me for this please; I'm working on the next chapter now and it will be Edward and Bella cuteness plus jessica's ass kicking if that makes up for it…**_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing and make no money from this fanfic. All credit goes to Stephanie Meyer.**_

EPOV

My imagination was going into overdrive during the drive to the docks; I couldn't help but run through the worst case scenarios in my mind.

I smiled fondly as I approached and my grandfather's boat came into view. This place held very happy memories for me and was one of the reasons that my grandfather and I were so close. I used to come here all the time when I was growing up, especially when I had an argument with my father; which was frequently. Sometimes my grandfather was there and sometimes he wasn't, it didn't matter; for me it was my safe place. Whatever reason my father had for disliking me to the degree that he did, my grandfather didn't seem to see it and I was never ostracised when I was with him. I don't even remember him ever telling me to be quiet or that I was an embarrassment to the family; which was something that I got near constantly from my father back at home. This was when I started to perfect the skill of avoiding my father; I would be with my grandparents while my father was at home and return home when he was at work. I soon realised that I could go for months and only see him once a week at Sunday lunch, which was a condition that my mother insisted upon. She liked to have the entire family including my grandparents to come together at least once a week.

I parked the car and looked over to my grandfather's boat, upon first sight it was an undoubtedly impressive cruiser. It was a grand but yet seemed somewhat humble next to the opulent displays of the neighbouring vessels. My grandfather loved to sail not put on a display, he was always comfortable but not ostentatious.

I looked to the boat and saw my mother waiting for me upon the deck, my grandfather most probably inside awaiting us. She waved and smiled sweetly when she caught sight of me, I locked the car and jogged towards the steps that led up to the deck. I smiled back and waved as I quickly ascended the few steps between us; she immediately approached me with her arms outstretched. I gave her a quick hug and a reassuring smile as my grandfather approached from inside. The deck of the boat was fairly sparse, used only for operating the functions of the boat. There was a plush sleeping area downstairs which my grandfather occasionally used on his visits back here. There was also a saloon lounge; which is where the majority of my time aboard had been spent. It provided panoramic views around the yacht and had sofas and a kitchenette area. I assumed that was where my grandfather had been resting.

"Edward, my boy! You look well!" my grandfather boomed at me with a contagious smile. I returned it gladly and he approached my with his hand outstretched. He surprised me by wrapping me in a one armed hug and slapping my back affectionately.

My grandfather was a welcoming man in both appearance and nature. He wasn't as tall as me and he had a slight build and broad shoulders. His white hair was receding at the front and sides but still flew off in all directions; he didn't bother to tame it. He always had a smile on his face and would welcome anybody in a time of need, making him the polar opposite of my father. I sometimes wondered how they could be related at all. He had steel blue eyes that seemed to light up when he spoke about any of his family, but especially his late wife; my grandma Beth. They had been hopelessly in love, he hadn't lost his spark, but it was certainly less bright since the loss of his wife.

I found myself momentarily forgetting the reasons for his visit as I grinned back at him. I always felt so welcome here, like I belonged. I could so easily block out all the crap that was going on elsewhere in my life.

I pulled back from my grandfather and he and my mother looked back at me nervously. I was suddenly brought out of my comfort zone and back into the present at a sobering speed.

"So, are you going to tell me what's going on?" I asked, trying to sound as relaxed as possible. This was quite a feat because inside I was screaming.

My mother cleared her throat softly and gave me a tight lipped smile. Her eyes relayed her concern, presumably out of worry about my reaction to the upcoming revelation.

"Let's sit down dear." She said in a soothing tone as she ushered me into the lounge. I sat down on the white leather sofa and motioned for my mother to sit by me. My grandfather joined us with a tray of coffee and looked at me nervously. It was obvious that they had already had a discussion before I got here.

"I just want you to know that I wanted you to be the first to hear this, dear. I have only spoken with your grandfather about it because I needed some professional advice, please don't be angry at me Edward." She pleaded with tears in her eyes and my heart broke for her. Whatever it was she had to tell me, it was obviously very painful for her. I placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder and fought the urge to push her to get to the crux of the story, I restrained myself because I could see how much she was struggling.

I noticed that my grandfather was watching me intently; observing my reaction. I turned back to my mother and she sighed before she spoke again.

"I …well you know that things have been quite strained at the house lately, well …I" she stammered out and her eyes filled with tears, I nodded and motioned to comfort her but she inhaled deeply to compose herself, offering me a shaky smile.

"I can't live like this anymore Edward. I can't…I can't …I…just…can't" She was full on sobbing now and my heart broke for her as I wrapped an arm around her shoulder, trying to comfort her. I looked to my grandfather for guidance but he was looking away, his eyes clouded with tears.

"I know how your father treats you Edward, how he has always treated you. I know how it feels to constantly reach out for his acceptance but to come up short. You can't let him wear you down Edward. Don't let him win my baby boy." She pleaded with such intensity that I had to look away, my features pulling into a frown involuntarily. This whole conversation was very confusing. She was talking in riddles. As if sensing my growing confusion, my grandfather spoke again.

"You need to just tell him straight Esme." He said softly and my mother nodded.

"I have always felt closer to you than with Alice or Emmett. I love them dearly; please don't doubt that. But I always had a special bond with you Edward, because we had something in common." She spoke quietly now and was silent for a few moments before I opened my mouth to prompt her to speak again.

My grandfather beat me to it though.

"That cad you call a father, knows no better how to treat a wife than he does a son. He fails miserably on both counts. Be honest with me Edward, when you were a boy; did he ever beat you?" he asked in a shaky voice. I shook my head.

"Not really no, he was never in the room long enough. Normally, he would tell me how useless I was, how you were all ashamed of me and usually end with the fact that I was a disgrace to the Masen name; but he rarely beat me." I said honestly and I felt the shame well up inside me at the thought of these words. I watched a stray tear roll down my grandfather's cheek and he looked me dead in the eye as he spoke.

"I've never been ashamed of you Edward. You are more of a man than my son ever will be." he said, his voice was thick with emotion and I didn't know what to say. I had never had to react to this kind of praise before and silence didn't seem appropriate, so I changed the subject.

"What are you telling me mom? Are you saying dad is beating you?"

"No darling, that's not what I'm saying. I just can't stay in a dead marriage anymore and I certainly can't watch him treat you the way he does; not anymore. Enough is enough." She stated in a dead tone.

"So, you're getting a divorce; that's what you brought me here to tell me? Why? You could have just served him the papers; I wouldn't judge you for it." I said placing a hand on her arm, she clasped it between both her palms and gave me a tight lipped smile.

"It's more complicated than that. Edward, your father has made both our lives hell. Your brother and sister would never understand; they don't see what a monster he is. I want to shelter them as much as I can. That's why I needed your grandfather's help. I need more than a divorce Edward, I need my closure. If I serve him papers now he will just say I committed adultery and I will be painted as the vindictive one. He will get away scot free with everything that he has done. So I have to take my time and do it carefully. Do you understand?" She asked with sad eyes. I shook my head slightly, I really didn't.

"You need to do what makes you happy mom. If you are worried about money, we all have enough. I would make sure that you were taken care of." I reassured her knowing that I spoke the truth, I would never see my mother struggling but I knew my father wouldn't extend her the same courtesy in the divorce. She looked at me with proud eyes but I didn't understand why, I looked over to my grandfather and saw him nodding in agreement at the mention of my mother being well cared for.

"He could never accuse you of adultery. How could he? You would never cheat on him. Everybody knows that. You haven't got a dishonest bone in your body, mom." I said with an honest smile. My mother visibly paled and she gasped. My eyes shot to my grandfathers, he exhaled deeply and gave me a knowing look causing me to recoil away from my mother.

"Hear her out Edward." He said calmly.

I pinched the bridge of my nose in an attempt to calm myself down. This couldn't be happening; my mother wouldn't live a lie like that, I knew her. I exhaled deeply and asked the million dollar question. I wasn't upset at the thought of her cheating on her husband, what she does in her marriage is her business, but I had always held her in a higher league than my father. The thought that she would stoop so low was a shock to the system. My image of the perfect mother was shattered.

"How long has it been going on mom?" I asked as I watched her face crumble and she looked as though she would cry, she held onto her composure but her face was still a deep frown when she spoke.

"It's complicated Edward. Yes, I have met someone else. But I haven't cheated on your father. Nothing has happened." She said and I knew she was telling the truth, my mother wouldn't risk her family for a fling. I nodded in acceptance.

"But it's going to?" I asked even though I already knew the answer.

"I love him Edward. I don't want to hurt my children by tearing this family apart but I can't live this way anymore. I'm so sorry…so…so…sorry." She cried out, her shoulders heaving with sobs.

I moved back next to her and rubbed soothing circles across her shoulders, the way she would for me when I cried as a child.

I couldn't bring myself to resent her desire to chase what she wanted. She had put up with hell from my father for the best part of 30 years just to keep the family together for her children. I knew that she had to do this; it was just weird. I noticed that when she spoke she only talked of hurting her children or tearing apart the family, not about hurting my father. It was clear that she had long since accepted the fact that my father didn't love her. It was sad.

My mother eventually stopped crying and composed herself with a deep breath. She looked at me with sorrow filled eyes. I spoke softly, not wanting to upset her again.

"Why are you telling me this mom?" I asked when my curiosity git too much for me. She laughed humourlessly, shaking her head in thought.

"Out of all of my children, you are the one whose approval I need. It's selfish but it's true. If you tell me right now to stay with your father and never see Carlisle again I would do it. I owe it to you." She said, wiping the stray tears from her cheeks, it saddened me to know that she felt like she owed me anything.

"Carlisle? So, he's…" I let my question trail off and she nodded. I sighed before smiling nervously. I couldn't even think about this other guy right now.

"Right, er… Listen mom, you don't owe me anything. Why would you think that?" I asked as my brow pulled together in confusion. She did that hollow single laugh again; there was no humour there though. I didn't like it, the sound of it was disturbing. She looked me dead in the eye and sat stock still.

"You have been ridiculed and pushed aside for 28 years Edward. It's all my fault. It's my fault he treated you that way. I should have just left with you. It's not fair and I'm so sorry. I should have known better than to stay. I should have demanded more for you. I understand if you want me to stay with your father, you could see it as my penance; my punishment. I would understand." She rambled, crying once again and I was desperate to make it stop.

"Just stop mom. None of it is your fault. If you are unhappy, then you need to get out. Do what you need to do, if the relationship with dad is dead then don't waste any more time on it; life is too short. He'll never change." I said and she looked at me deep in thought for a moment before wrapping her arms around me and chanting "thank you" in a whisper.

"Will you meet him Edward?" she asked and I blanched. I shook my head gently and she looked crestfallen.

"One step at a time mom." I said with as big a smile I could muster. She nodded and mouthed "Ok"

"So what happens now? With the divorce I mean?" I asked as my mother stood up and smoothed out her hair and clothing before she answered.

"Your grandfather will help me get all the paperwork together and I can file irreconcilable differences." My mother answered, she was still sniffling and looked so pitiful. I felt ashamed that I couldn't help her.

"It's complicated and likely to get very nasty. He won't give up easily. He will likely make her wait the two year waiting period before it gets finalised. There are ways around it if they both sign a waiver but its sure as shit that he won't sign." My grandfather added with an angry expression.

"Her best bet is filing under adultery but he'll always contest that unless she can get some floozy to say she's been with him." He said in a professional tone and then his face turned apologetic as he looked at my mother. He opened his mouth, presumably to apologise but she waved him off.

"It's ok, I know he has. He's been at it for years. It's my own fault for turning a blind eye." She sighed in defeat.

"Right, dinner is in the oven so have to get home. We will talk soon Edward. See you both at 4. Don't be late." She pecked my cheek and I helped her onto the deck safely; promising to see her for dinner and not to mention anything to anyone. She seemed more relaxed now and lighter somehow. I got back onto the boat to talk to my grandfather.

"So, bet your head is spinning huh?" my grandfather said with a chuckle, I just nodded.

"Where do you stand in all this? Dad is your son. He'll hate you for helping her." I asked, looking up to him from my seat on the deck. He nodded.

"I know son, but sometimes the right thing to do isn't the easiest." He said with a grim expression. "He's beating her Edward, I know it. Son or not that can't go on. He has to learn that there are consequences to his actions and besides, Esme has nobody outside this family. What else could I do?" His face belayed his sadness that things had ended this way.

"What about this other guy? So what, she's going to divorce dad and move this new guy in?" I asked. I was aware that I was pouting petulantly but couldn't bring myself to care. My grandfather laughed at me and shook his head.

"Not so new Edward. Been waiting two years from what I hear." He said and I shook my head in disbelief.

"I can't even think about that. How do you feel about it?"

"Esme is the best thing that could have happened to your father and he has shit on her from the start. I didn't raise my son to treat a woman that way. This is his doing; Esme has been good to this family. She has provided me with three wonderful grandchildren. I can't begrudge her happiness." He said solemnly and I nodded in response. My mom did deserve to be happy.

"You really think dad will contest the divorce?"

"He'll do all he can to leave Esme out in the cold, probably won't work but he'll be hoping she gives up. That's what I'd bet knowing my son anyway." He added with a nod.

"I just can't believe it. I always thought he was just bad towards me because of how I am. He wouldn't hit mom, I know it." I said with a determined tone. My grandfather looked away from me.

"She's admitted it to me Edward. She needs to get out and soon. You did good today. I knew you would want her to be happy. She was so worried about letting you down. She knows your father failed you all these years and she didn't want to do the same." He said, clapping a hand on my shoulder.

"She's never let me down." I said, my sadness shone through in my tone as I thought about my father. He had let me down. It couldn't just be that I deserved the way he treated me. He has always been like this, even when I was a child. What could I have done to him as a child?

"That was some good advice you gave your mother there; telling her to give up on your father if the relationship is dead. You should listen to yourself." He said with a tight smile. I steeled myself to ask the question that had been sat on my lips for over two decades.

"Why is he the way he is with me? He isn't like that with Emmett or Alice. There must be a reason. Is it something that I did?" I asked, I sounded desperate but I just had to know. My grandfather's sad eyes met mine.

"I was wondering when I would field this question." He sighed deeply. "There is a reason, but no son, it is definitely nothing you ever did. It's not my story to tell son." I thought as much so I just nodded in acceptance, hoping that my disappointment wasn't too obvious. He cleared his throat and spoke again.

"Come on, you need to go pick up that girl don't you?" he asked and I sighed deeply in annoyance at the thought of Jessica.

He looked at me in question and gave the signature Masen lopsided smirk.

"Is it getting serious with her then?" he asked and I cringed knowing he couldn't be farther from the truth. I shook my head.

"No, not at all. Tonight's my closure." I said with a determined nod. He laughed back at me and shook his head.

Tonight would be my closure.

_**A/N – I had intended on making this a longer chapter with the dinner and Jessica's ass kicking included but that will have to wait till the next chap, it just felt right to end it here. **_

_**Let me know what you think. The next chap will be up in couple of days xx**_


	6. Chapter 6 part 1, cakes and comfort

_**A/N – Hi guys, This chap was getting too long so I split into two halves for easier reading. Both halves have been posted at the same time so there is no waiting and the split just felt right.**_

_**Hope you enjoy!**_

_**I never do this because I hate to think I am telling people what to read but you should check out 'Bar Room Angel – by Vodkavamp76.' There should be a link to it on my favourites.**_

_**I'm pretty hooked on it right now, her Edward is just delicious. **_

_**Okay so please let me know what you think.**_

_**Thanks guys,**_

_**Gemma xxx**_

_**Disclaimer – I don't own anything. All credit to Stephanie Meyer.**_

EPOV 

I said my goodbyes to my grandfather and made my way to pick up Jessica, vowing to go sans bouquet this time. I felt an ache in my chest as I contemplated my mother and father's relationship or rather lack of one and the way he had treated her over the years.

I wasn't completely oblivious to my nature, I realised that I had some quite serious issues with self-esteem. When I was alone and contemplating situations like this; where a loved one was being wronged or treated unfairly, I would find myself having a surge of purpose. I was determined to stand up to my father in my mother's defence, but still, I knew that my own issues would prevent me from saying a word and it disgusted me. I was ashamed of myself.

I knew that my father should never be able to get away with treating my mother the way that he does. It was only now, that I realised exactly what had been going on all these years. My mom was treated with the same hostility and contempt that I was; I had just been too wrapped up in my own issues to notice. I felt the shame well up in me again with this realisation. Somebody needed to stand up for her, the way that she had stood up for me all of my life. I just hoped that I could be man enough to be the one to do it; it was the only option as far as I could see. After all, my siblings knew nothing about the problems that my mother was facing, and even if they did, they would never be able to understand it. You could never truly comprehend the feelings that came with being scorned by someone you have nothing but love and respect for, or the hopelessness that accompanies persistent rejection whenever you attempt to gain affection or praise. I knew that a person had to experience being ostracized in order to truly appreciate the effects that it can have. As much as I wish I could have my siblings support with this situation, I would never wish that experience upon them.

I snapped out of my sombre thoughts and decided to stop back at my apartment before collecting Jessica, there was something I needed to collect before dinner. The situation needed sorting out and I was determined to get it over with today. My visit at the apartment was a quick one, after collecting everything I needed and saying a quick goodbye to Abby, I slowly headed to my car with the sense of dread slowing me down. As I arrived at my car, my cell phone began to ring in my pocket. I dragged a hand through my already overstressed hair as I saw it was my father calling.

"Hello Dad." I said, attempting to make my voice as strong as possible.

"Just a reminder that I don't want you here later." He said, not even bothering with the formality of a greeting.

"I didn't need the reminder; you made yourself very clear yesterday. Unfortunately, Mom wants me there; there is no way that I could not show up. See you later Dad." I rushed out quickly in an unsteady voice, ending the call despite the muffled yelling I could still hear when I pulled the phone away from my ear.

My father's call had left me shaken, both physically and emotionally; I could barely string a sentence together on the phone let alone confront him in person. It honestly hurt that he didn't want me there. He was my father and I was feeling the familiar sting of rejection.

As I drove slowly through the Chicago streets a realisation hit me much harder than it should have.

I was fighting a losing battle; I would never have my father's approval and certainly not his love. It wasn't just that he was disappointed in me and wanted to instil a change in my personality; he genuinely disliked me, hated me even. There was nothing that I would ever be able to do to change that. The tears started welling in my eyes until my vision blurred, irritating the lenses that Alice had insisted I wore for tonight. I pulled the car over in a nearby car park and dragged a hand over my face before letting out a loud groan in anguish. I could feel the emotion overtaking me and I was close to breaking down; I had wasted precious years of my life trying to form a relationship with that wretched man and it was all for nothing. I screwed my eyes shut tightly and let my head fall forward to hit the steering wheel as the sobs wracked my chest.

When I regained my composure slightly, my throat was burning from the pained sounds that I had been making. I looked up to take in my surroundings, hoping to find a small store for a drink. I noted that I was at the strip of shops near my apartment. As my eyes scanned the street, they once again met with Bella's chocolate coloured orbs outside a coffee shop and my shoulders suddenly felt lighter, my throat however, felt drier than ever and my heart was beating rapidly in my chest.

_Would she talk to me? Should I talk to her? Had she received the flowers? If so, had she liked them?_

My mind was swimming with questions as she smiled at me and her eyes crinkled in the corners, she appeared pleased to see me. I had thought so at least, but she suddenly seemed to catch herself and her smile faltered, her face apparently contorted in pain. My heart sank as I looked on confused when she turned around abruptly and disappeared back into the coffee shop that she had just vacated. I inhaled a shaky breath to compose myself as I concluded that she wasn't pleased to see me after all, going as far as returning to the café in order to avoid talking to me. My sense of hopelessness overwhelmed me and I allowed the tears to fall freely. When they came, it was a strong flow of silent tears; I was too numb for the powerful sobs from earlier. I was utterly hollow as I stared out of the windscreen, my eyes focused on nothing in particular.

A light, delicate tapping on the side window broke me from my morbid reverie; I jumped slightly in my seat before turning to look at the source and wearing what I'm sure was a startled expression.

Bella looked back at me with a shy, sympathetic smile before her eyes fell to the ground and her expression turned nervous. The gentlemanly thing to do now would be to get out of the car to speak to her, but I didn't trust my legs to hold steady and I really didn't want to end up knocking her over with the door or something equally graceless. Instead, I lowered the window between us all the way and tried to find the appropriate words as I looked at her pleadingly, hoping she would speak first.

She cleared her throat delicately and as she raised her gaze to mine again, I was suddenly very aware that I could drown in the depths of those eyes. They had flecks of gold and black adding a further tone to them. After I had been staring at her for longer than was decent, she spoke softly.

"It's the only thing I have ever seen you drink. So…" she said shyly as she motioned to a bottle of water in her hands. I smiled back as wide as I could and roughly wiped my tear stained cheeks with my palms. I silently prayed that I didn't look as gross as I felt right now. Her face lit up slightly as if she had just remembered something and she handed me the water which I accepted gratefully. I was just about to express my appreciation, when she began fumbling through a huge bag perched on her shoulder. She smiled reassuringly as she re-emerged with a packet of paper tissues and offered them to me. I accepted them and tidied myself up, grimacing when I caught sight of my face in the mirror. She chuckled lightly and rolled her eyes.

"Don't be embarrassed, I cry all the time." she said with the most beautiful smile I had ever seen. She drew her lower lip into her mouth and I frowned as I became irrationally jealous of it. I inhaled deeply to compose myself enough to speak and took a long swig of the water; it was heavenly on my tortured throat.

"Thank you Bella" I croaked out, groaning at the sound of my voice. Her face scrunched up adorably as she giggled at me; I didn't mind, I found I liked being the one to make her smile. I felt a connection to this girl that I didn't understand.

"You looked like you could use this." She said sweetly as she handed me the biggest chocolate muffin man has ever seen. I raised my eyebrows and let out a breathy chuckle. She went to hand it to me and then pulled back.

"Wait, you're not diabetic are you?" she asked and I shook my head, no. "Oh good because that would probably kill you." She offered the treat out to me again and I took it from her gently, scared of hurting her fragile fingers. She was remarkably delicate, I looked at the clock on the dashboard and noted I still had a little time; I hadn't been with my grandfather as long as I had anticipated. I was relieved, I didn't want to say goodbye to the angel just yet.

Her hand brushed mine slightly as I took the muffin from her, she gasped lightly and I felt a spark shoot up through my fingers, like a static shock but tingly too; pleasant. She smiled again and I remembered that I had barely spoken to her.

"You didn't have to this but I appreciate it and I'm sorry. I'm such a mess." I said honestly, too embarrassed to hold her gaze. She shook her head rapidly and sighed.

"No, no, no. shut up." She said abruptly in her sweet voice and I couldn't help but flinch back minutely at her statement. She smiled and rolled her eyes again.

"What I mean to say, is don't worry about it. It's all good, everyone gets sad." She said with a kind expression as if this was the simplest concept in the world.

I sighed again and pursed my lips together thoughtfully. I disagreed with what she was saying but I didn't feel comfortable enough to dismiss her statement. It was a lovely gesture.

"Not every man sits crying in their car, Bella." I said in a soft tone, I didn't want her to think I was mad at her.

"No but everybody has to let it out when they get a little down. It's good for you." She said with a smile and rocked on her feet; she looked adorable in this moment and I couldn't help but smile at her. My mouth was dry again as I looked back at her, her hair was weaving around her face in wild tendrils, bustling gently in the mild wind. I had the sudden urge to sweep a lock behind her ear to feel the softness but I restrained myself somehow.

"You know what happens when you keep it bottled inside?" she asked genuinely and I shook my head no, despite the fact that I was fully aware what could happen when you let your emotions build up to breaking point. I shook my head to clear it of those thoughts; I wasn't willing to go back to that memory right now. It was far too painful and I never wanted Bella to find out about that side of me. I hoped her next comment wouldn't hit too close to home. I didn't want to be reminded of what I had done last year and the pain it had caused back then.

"Serial killers." She said matter-of-factly.

"Serial killers?" I repeated. This girl never failed to surprise me. I needn't have worried. She never said what I expected her to.

"Yeah, they bottle it up and then just snap. Don't they? It's common knowledge, Edward." She stated with a nod and I laughed genuinely, her face lit up when I did so. I vowed to do it more often for her.

I nodded sceptically and she grinned spectacularly.

"Anyway, chocolate always makes me feel better, hence the hips." She giggled and pinched her left hip with her tiny palm.

I couldn't prevent my eyes from wandering down to her hips; a thin sliver of porcelain skin was exposed above the low waistband of her dark wash jeans. Her hips were perfect, dainty and lean but still womanly somehow. I wanted to touch them. I stammered slightly and a strange sound came out, I blushed and she giggled flicking her hand at the wrist to dismiss me.

I took a moment to take in the rest of her; she was wearing a dark blue blouse that hugged her in all the right ways. The curve of her slender waist was highlighted perfectly by the shirt, the top few buttons undone modestly. I fought against myself fruitlessly not to follow her figure along the curve of her chest. I swallowed again, my throat becoming far too dry. The tingling I had felt earlier returned, this time in the pit of my stomach; once again it felt pleasant. The longer I looked at this girl, the more the feeling intensified until it began to travel lower. I shook myself out of my stupor and looked away mortified as my trousers began to tighten, the situation certainly didn't call for this kind of a reaction.

I was suddenly very thankful that I hadn't exited the car. I had never reacted this way before, having never been sexually orientated in any way until now. I had never had the confidence to think myself worthy of that kind of gratification and so I had just not thought on it. My mother raised us to believe sex came hand in hand with a loving relationship and I had long since accepted that I would never experience romantic love and so didn't allow myself to have those kinds of feelings. I was disturbed by the fact that this seemed to be changing, I didn't quite know how to handle that concept.

I swallowed audibly and offered to split the treat with her, she declined vehemently and I couldn't help but chuckle. I was touched when she said that she wanted to make me feel better, little did she know that she already had. I told her that I had somewhere to be for dinner soon so I would save it for later. She looked inexplicably sad for a moment but covered it quickly; I couldn't help but wonder why. I was desperate to understand this beautiful girl.

There were a few moments of silence but it wasn't greatly uncomfortable, we just kept glancing up at each other and smiling; neither of us wanting to talk about the state I had been in when she had seen me.

"Are you okay?" she asked sweetly, her eyes softening as she looked back at me. I sighed and smiled back at her. I was touched by the sweetness of this girl. I wasn't used to anybody making an effort like this just to ensure my welfare, definitely not anybody outside of my family.

"Yeah, please excuse my little breakdown" I nodded as I looked away from her, my cheeks flushing in shame. I looked back and she shook her head gently and snuck her tiny hand towards me to rest it upon my forearm through the window.

"Don't be like that please, you shouldn't be so hard on yourself and you certainly shouldn't be ashamed. Everybody gets like that sometimes. You just let too all get too much for you. Can I ask what was wrong?" she said sweetly and I blanched at the question. She withdrew her hand and I missed the contact immediately. I could never admit the real reason that I had been sobbing in my car, she would think me even more pathetic than she already does. I thought very carefully before I spoke again, I didn't want to lie to her but I didn't want to scare her away either.

"I had a bit of a breakdown." I said honestly as my shoulders slumped in shame. She smiled and nodded her head. I stared at her a little longer, not really wanting to elaborate; she mouthed "because" and rolled her hand for me to continue. I sighed before I spoke.

"There is something that I need to do but I'm not sure that I'm strong enough to do it." I said vaguely but honestly." I looked back to her and she was nodding in understanding.

"Well… if you can't do it for yourself then how about you do it for someone else, someone that you care about?" she asked with a hopeful expression, I couldn't help but smile. Everything was so simple for this girl, she had such innocence about her and here I was affecting her with my scepticism.

"Do you always wear a suit Edward?" she asked, surprising me as she changed the subject. I shook my head slightly to clear my thoughts.

"Erm, Not always… well, most of the time. Why?" I said in a tone much ruder than I had intended. She frowned slightly at my tone but recovered quickly.

"Well, you were wearing one last night, and again now. It's Sunday Edward." She said, looking at my outfit and I didn't feel uncomfortable as I often would if someone was looking at me so intently, I found that I liked her eyes appraising me. I chuckled slightly that she appeared to find it ludicrous that I would be formally dressed on a Sunday evening. She crinkled her nose as she waited for an answer.

"I'm going for dinner at my parents' house; I wouldn't dream of turning up anything but well dressed." I said quietly, knowing what my father would say if I did.

"They are your family, they'd love you either way, surely" she said with a big genuine smile. Yeah, you would think so wouldn't you? I thought dryly. I couldn't help the bitter chuckle that escaped. She frowned deeply and exhaled slowly through her nose. She looked slightly angry but I couldn't understand quite why that could be.

"You have to stop worrying what people think of you, let them say what they like. If they really care about you, they won't care about crap like this as long as you are happy. If not, then… fuck them and the horse they rode in on." She said, her voice was slightly higher; she was getting more enthusiastic as she spoke and I was taken aback. It was almost as if she was worrying about me. Like she knew what was going to be waiting for me at dinner. I didn't like that, she was basically telling me that I had a right to be myself and that it would somehow be enough for everybody, and she was wrong.

"Why are you here, Bella?" I asked in a cold voice, looking straight ahead. I heard her exhale deeply next to me; she was biting her lip and looking at the floor.

"You looked upset." She said simply as if it explained everything.

"So?" I demanded and I knew I was being a dick, I just couldn't stop myself.

"Anyone would think you had never had anyone try to be friends with you." She sighed in exasperation. I raised my eyes to her but she was still looking at her feet. I couldn't lie to this girl.

"I haven't. Nobody has ever tried to be friends with me, not really." I said in a quiet voice, almost hoping she wouldn't hear.

She gasped and then pursed her lips, deep in thought. Her eyes looked sad and she started to mutter out an apology but I shook her off. It wasn't necessary and I didn't want her to feel guilty or pity me. We were silent again for a few minutes and I felt awful for making her uncomfortable.

"I have to go." I mumbled looking at the clock and noting that I was supposed to pick up Jessica in ten minutes. I didn't particularly care about her, but I had to get today over with. Bella looked so sad as she answered.

"Oh ok, have you got a pen?" she asked, her eyes lighting up as if she had an idea all of a sudden. I nodded and handed her the pen and notebook from the inner pocket of my jacket. I watched as she scribbled furiously before tearing out the page and giving the notebook and pen back to me. She looked nervous as she clutched the note in her hand.

"Thank you for the flowers they were beautiful. Erm… look, if you erm… want to maybe…well you could call if you wanted to chat or anything. Just as a friend, I know you have a girlfriend; I'm not hitting on you or anything. I just want to be your friend." My heart lurched at her words, especially when her voice was barely audible at the end; I was amazed that this girl almost seemed to be afraid of rejection, as if that could be possible.

I nodded and thanked her, my voice cracking with emotion. She was amazing, so selfless.

She perked up and beamed back at me handing me the scrap of paper.

"My number, call anytime; if you want to talk. After you have done what you need to do if you want. Please don't be sad Edward." She said as she leant forward and kissed my forehead softly and innocently before flitting off.

I was in a daze as I looked at the paper that she had handed to me. In perfect delicate script was her number and a short message;

"Because one believes in oneself, one doesn't try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn't need others' approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her." Lao Tzu.

Be strong Edward. You are worthy,

Bella x

This girl had really gotten into my head, she seemed to see the side of me that I fought desperately to keep hidden and I found that I didn't mind it. It was a relief to have someone understand, even if it was only a little.

Could she be right though? Was I worthy?

_**A/N – please let me know what you guys think, part two of this chap should already be up and the next on will be up by the end of the week.**_

_**Gemma xx**_


	7. Chapter 6 part 2, trouble at dinner

_**A/N- Hi guys, this is the second part of chapter 6. Hope you enjoy. This is the dinner; looks like Edward might finally get rid of Jessica. The question is, will she go down without a fight?**_

_**Let me know what you think guys. Thanks so much for all who reviewed or added last chapter, I hope I replied to you all. If I missed you I'm sorry, real life is a bitch. Love your reviews though, even the crazy conspiracy theories lol. You guys are great! Xxx**_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but I wish I did.**_

I should have collected Jessica a while ago and I could hear my cell phone buzzing away but I couldn't bring myself to care, I carefully put away the cake that Bella had brought for me along with her note. I didn't want to lose either of those.

As I slowly meandered over to get Jessica, I noticed that I was feeling much lighter than I had before and I knew that I had a certain brunette beauty to thank for that. I smiled briefly at the thought.

As I arrived at Jessica's house my trepidation began to grow. I knew first hand just how viscous she could be and although I desperately wanted her out of my life, a voice inside my head was still screaming for me to tread carefully. I knew that if she started spewing lies, she could cause a lot of damage to my family relationships and this worried me. I needed to stay calm and so I thought of Bella and her telling me to be strong and that I was worthy. I tried desperately to believe her.

I rang the doorbell and this time Jessica answered immediately. Her expression was furious.

"You are late Edward!" she screamed at me, with her hands on her hips.

"We better hurry then." I said calmly before returning to the car, she stared back at me in shock, not used to me being so short with her. I certainly wasn't going to seek her approval anymore; after all, I had no desire for it. The only reason I wanted her to come at all tonight was so that she could get the message that I won't be extorted. Hopefully this would be enough to get her out of my life.

I got in behind the wheel and rolled my eyes as I listened the clicking of her ridiculously high heels as she shuffled quickly to get into the car, listening to her grumbling in disgust when she realised that she had to open the door herself.

The drive to my mother's house was a silent one with me barely even glancing over at Jessica, let alone speaking to her. She kept making a huffing sound and moving around in her seat, no doubt trying to entice my attention, but suffice to say, it was not working.

She eventually appeared to accept that I would not be apologising for my lateness and this seemed to worry her slightly as she kept smiling gently and looking a little nervous. Her expression was far from the sour look that usually greeted me. She was once again texting away on her cell phone. Obviously, she was not so worried as she could be separated from the wretched gadget for more than a minute or two.

I pulled into my parent's driveway and was greeted by my mother pacing and looking worried. I strode over to her and kissed her cheek; smiling reassuringly whilst casting furtive glances to the house where my father was no doubt waiting to stir up a shit storm. She gave me a tight lipped smile in return, before casting a scornful look over my shoulder towards Jessica. Apparently, she was done pretending too. I wondered what Alice had told her about the situation between Jessica and me.

My mother pulled away from me, nodded curtly at Jessica and we followed her into the house. As soon as we walked through the threshold I could hear a door slam and Alice shouting. She came bounding downstairs with tear stained cheeks, when she saw me her sad face instantly transformed into a brilliant smile and she bounded over and kissed my cheek. I asked her quietly if she was ok and she winked at me before she replied.

"Oh yes, everything will be just fine after tonight, brother." she said loudly. "Jessica." She mumbled curtly by way of a greeting to our guest, I motioned for Jessica to sit down in the family room but made no move to join her. I couldn't stand to be close to her right now, I was nervous about the outcome of tonight's dinner. I was talking in hushed tones with Alice whilst she reassured me that everything was going to be ok and that I just needed a chance to put Jessica in her place, when we were interrupted by a car door slamming shut loudly. Jessica jumped slightly in her seat on the sofa and looked a little nervous.

"Is that Ed- I mean, your dad?" she asked eagerly. I shook my head and Alice answered.

"No, it's Emmett. Dad's upstairs." She said and shared a knowing look with me. That was no doubt what Alice had been shouting about. My father was likely refusing to come down for dinner because I was here with Jess. Emmett came bounding through the door with an exacerbated looking Rosalie in tow.

"Hey big brother!" Emmett bellowed as he made his big entrance, I rolled my eyes at him and smiled.

"Hi Jess, how's it goin'?" he mumbled quietly, and she nodded in response, wringing her hands anxiously in her lap.

I had been nervous about Emmett seeing her here tonight, as he had been the one to introduce us and I didn't want him to lose a friend over me; no matter how horrible she was. I locked eyes with Rosalie and she nodded, indicating they had talked about tonight. I sighed to myself, was there anyone that didn't know all the pathetic details about my life?

Rosalie clapped a hand on my shoulder and smiled reassuringly before going to talk quietly to Alice. Jessica came to stand next to me and asked when my father would be coming downstairs. I looked at her and told her he would probably not come down at all. That wouldn't particularly bother me but Jessica looked somewhat upset by this. I didn't understand her reaction but then again, I rarely did and so I let it go. I noticed that Rosalie had completely blanked Jessica when she had entered. If Jessica picked up on this, then she didn't let it show. In fact, she didn't seem to notice that she was unwelcome at all, she just kept watching the stairway nervously; strange girl.

We heard a hearty chuckle and my grandfather walked into the room, shovelling cookies into his mouth. My mother was quick to chastise him about eating so close to dinner. She tried to take the food out of his hands but he scuffled for them until she gave in muttering about an insolent old man. He grinned victoriously. My mother shook her head at him.

"Leave me alone; I'm old and you take too long!" he joked with her and she laughed, looking up at him affectionately.

We laughed together for a few minutes until my father joined us downstairs; much to my surprise. He greeted everyone in turn, even going so far as to plant a kiss on the back of Jessica's hand causing her to giggle in a sickly sweet tone. I cringed involuntarily and Alice let out a light growl. He didn't bother gracing me with pleasantries, I was greeted with a cruel scowl and his lip curled venomously as he spoke.

"I thought you said you weren't coming today, Edward?" he spat and I shook my head and prepared to correct him.

"You- you must h-have mis-misunderstood." I stammered nervously and Jessica scoffed lightly beside me and smirked in my father's direction, he ignored her and glared at me.

The conversation that followed was strained at best. The atmosphere was tense and it was obvious that everyone had something they wanted to say but were biting their tongue and waiting for their moment. Everyone but my grandfather that is.

"Well Jennifer, you're chunkier than I was expecting." He said innocently, Jessica looked affronted and smoothed down the fabric on her abdomen.

"It's Jess-i-ca!" she spat out slowly as if he was stupid. He knew her name, he was just teasing. He often did this just because he could get away with it. He had a point though, Jessica had gained a little weight in the months that I had known her, mostly around her middle. I suppose that's what happened when she sat around all day and I took her out for rich dinners. The atmosphere in the room got too tense and I decided to go and join my mother in the kitchen. It's not like my father would miss my company anyway, and my grandpa seemed to be entertaining everyone else.

"Need any help?" I asked with a smile. She grinned back and motioned for me to sit down.

"No, nearly done now sweetie." She cooed back at me with a smile.

"I'm going to just get it over with Edward." She said in a strained voice as she stood at the sink. Her shoulders were tense and she seemed anxious. "I have to tell him today, tell him I want out."

She inhaled deeply as if to compose herself and I nodded in what I hoped was a reassuring manner.

"I'll tell you something now Edward, life is too short to be unhappy. It might not be perfect and there might be things that I still want to change, but halfway is always better than nothing my baby boy. You grab your happiness, anywhere you can. That's what I need to do now; but I need to know that I have your support. Please, Edward." She pleaded with me, tears forming in her eyes.

"Of course mom, you do what you need to do. Tell him today, while we are all here with you." I smiled a tense smile and pulled her into a hug, Dad was not going to take this well but I was glad she wasn't doing it alone.

"Thank you sweetie, now will you go and tell everyone that dinner is ready please honey." She said, planting a soft kiss to my cheek. I nodded and headed for the family room. As I did so, I heard hushed voices coming from the small room that held my piano. It was unusual for anyone to be in there. I had left the old baby grand here as my mother loved to hear me play on my frequent visits and the piano itself had belonged to my grandma Beth, plus I kept trying to tempt Alice into learning the magnificent instrument. To no avail of course.

The voices sounded hushed and strained. One was definitely my father but I couldn't make out the other without being seen. They weren't saying anything just humming and huffing in agreement or distaste. I hid behind the wall as I strained to hear.

"This is getting out of hand; you need to do something soon. He's desperate but he's not stupid. Look at the state of you. Even my father noticed. You should have got rid when you had the chance." I heard my father mutter angrily.

"Why would I get rid? It's going to be perfect. Your son will be my money ticket for years to come!" I bit back a groan of disgust as I recognised the voice; Jessica.

"You need to hold up your end of the bargain, you should have got him into bed by now. It's all going to go to shit otherwise. I told you this."

As I continued to listen, my mother came up behind me looking confused.

"What are you doing darling?" she said sweetly, but loud enough for my father and Jessica to hear.

"Nothing, nothing." I stuttered quickly, blushing with embarrassment at being caught. I eyed my father suspiciously as he skulked into the kitchen, obviously having instructed Jessica to wait a moment or two before coming out.

"Now that were all here, shall we eat?" my mother said, as she rubbed my arm with a big grin. "It's so nice to have you here sweetie, don't bring her next time, ok?" she said and I nodded with a chuckle. She scoffed at Jessica who had emerged and was fiddling with her cell phone again.

"No phones at the table Jess!" Emmett boomed as he snatched the device from her hands. Her eyes widened and she immediately looked panicked. I exchanged a glance with an angry looking Alice which told me that she had drawn the same conclusions as I had. There was something on that phone that Jessica didn't want anyone to see, I could well guess what it was too. I should have felt betrayed but I couldn't bring myself to care. I was done with her after tonight.

We filed into the kitchen and all took a seat at the large dining table, I helped my mother carry in the food and we each settled down to eat but the conversation didn't flow easily.

Rose kept scowling at Jessica and cutting her off whenever she spoke. Jessica would often look to me expectantly, obviously waiting for me to chastise Rosalie but I just left it. I was becoming increasingly uncomfortable at this table, I was conscious of my father's glares and I could feel my anxiety rising.

My grandfather of course was oblivious as he ate like a starving man, I tried not to chuckle at the sight of him; he was like an old skinny Emmett.

"So, Jessica. Where are you working now?" Rosalie asked with a snide grin, she knew full well she wasn't working.

"Well… erm, I'm not right now. I'm holding out for the right job. I don't want to just take any menial position." She replied uncomfortably. Rosalie nodded as she ate.

"Maybe you should go back to school, you don't have any qualifications do you?" Rosalie prompted again, causing Jessica to grind her teeth in annoyance.

"Yeah and let's be honest, pretty much everything you say is uneducated crap. So, you know, it's about time you learned to open your mouth for more than just giving head." She continued with a smug smirk and I couldn't help but join her. I might not be the man to do it but it was nice to see Jessica put in her place.

"So, how's work Edward?" my father asked in a pleasant tone and all eyes at the table went him, forks hung in the air as people got over their initial shock. My father had never asked how I was doing, this was a definite first and somewhat of a shock. My mouth hung open for a moment before I answered, I couldn't help but notice that my father looked nervous. The emotion looked strange on him; it wasn't a look he normally wore. It seemed to me like he was trying to change the subject.

"Erm, its fine. I actually just completely redesigned the operating platform for a new generation of multiplayer computer games. You'd like it Emmett, it will increase interaction speed and substantially improve the graphics. It's going to feel like you're actually in the game." I said with enthusiasm but aimed the answer to my brother. I wanted desperately to Bask in my father's attention but I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. It felt so unfamiliar; like it was a trick and it was.

"Well, Emmett doesn't have time for all that. He's too busy himself, aren't you son?" my father said as he gave Emmett a hearty slap on the back with a proud expression. "He's not a child; he has no time for computer games. Honestly! When are you going to take the Bar so I can tell people that I have two sons with decent jobs?" he said with a patronising chuckle and I let my eyes fall to the table, he had a knack of making me feel like a underachieving child. Emmett interrupted my thoughts with gusto.

"Actually dad, Eddie boy pulls in a lot more dough than I do. Uses his head a lot more too, working with those computers using programmes I couldn't even begin to understand. I mean, sure, I can play a good shoot 'em up for hours but programme a computer to make one work? No way! I'm forever telling the guys at work how smart my bro is. They lap it up man. You're like Bill Gates or some shit." he laughed as he raised his glass in my direction before taking a swig and offering me a dimpled grin. Whether or not he believed any of what he just said, I don't really know, but I know he defended me heartily and I was grateful.

"Yeah, great. My brothers are awesome. Now, let's get back to how shit Jessica is. So tell me Jess, were your parents siblings or just kissing cousins?" Alice said with a cruel snap to her tone. Emmett laughed and Jessica paled as she narrowed her eyes angrily.

"Listen here, you spiteful little midget. You are in no position to question anyone else's genetics. Look at the size of you. It's like you got to twelve and then stopped!" Jessica said as she stood up and scowled at Alice as if threatening her. Alice looked upset for a moment but soon recovered.

In the end Alice, Rosalie and Jessica were all stood up yelling at each other as we looked on. My father made numerous attempts to diffuse the situation but gave up when he kept getting yelled at. Emmett sat back smugly stating it was foolish to interrupt a bitch fight and my mother was grumbling about uneaten food, but every time she tried to take anything from the table, Emmett would take it back and start eating.

"Motherfucking slut!" Alice's voice rang loud and clear throughout the room. Everybody went silent and our eyes fell on her. Alice stood bolt upright, breathing heavily from all her shouting. My grandfather was humming to himself oblivious to the occurring shit storm.

"Well, come on it's what you are. You'll fuck anything that walks, everyone knows it." Rosalie spat, completing my sister's eloquent insult. Jessica scoffed in distain at Rosalie. Before narrowing her eyes and getting that evil smirk on her face again.

"I hear your trying for a baby Rose, any luck yet?" her words were venomous and I expected Rose to launch herself across the table towards her, instead she flopped down in her seat as tears pooled in her eyes and slumped into Emmett's side. Jessica smirked and Alice's eyes flared, she made a move to hit her but I held my hand up to stop her. Jessica's words were a low blow and she knew it. Rosalie and Emmett had been together for 8 years and had been trying for a baby for two of those with no success. Rosalie wanted to be a mother more than anything, so the jibe was sure to have stung. I don't know who had told Jessica but it certainly hadn't been me.

"That's enough; no one speaks to Rosalie like that. I don't know where the hell you heard about that but it's a family matter and you sure as hell aren't family." I spoke quickly but my words were loud and strong. Rosalie was a sister to me and I would defend her as such, even if I couldn't defend myself. I was thinking of someone I cared about, like Bella had suggested.

_Stay strong. You are worthy. _Her words rang clear in my head and I tried to take strength from them as I continued.

"I have a gift for you, Jessica." I said as I reached in my jacket pocket for the envelope I had collected from my apartment earlier. Jessica's face lit up and she flashed Rosalie and Alice a smug smile. Emmett's expression turned disappointed, he obviously thought the same as Jessica, that I was giving in to her. I couldn't blame him for his scepticism but I liked to prove him wrong. Alice however, knew me better, she knew if I was giving into Jessica I wouldn't do it so brazenly, she had faith.

I threw the envelope on the table for her to pick up. She did so happily and eagerly rip it open, revealing the money inside. Everyone at the table gasped at my seemingly cowardly gesture.

"$1000, like you demanded. Or, what was it?... my father would get a tearful visit at work?" I demanded smugly and she looked nervous; glancing at my father sheepishly. He reciprocated with a wide eyed and nervous expression but I couldn't focus on him right now.

"No, I-I-I" she stuttered, her cheeks growing red.

Come on, Jessica. I'll even let you have it both ways, take your money and do your worst. I have nothing to fear, I have no secrets and I am done with fucking hiding. So do your worst and then get out of that door. I never want to see your sorry face again." I said, feeling triumphant. My father looked back at me with a shocked expression whilst everyone else looked proud. It felt good to stand up to her but better still when Rosalie mouthed 'thank you' with a watery smile. Jessica took a deep breath and spoke in a quiet unsteady voice.

"Actually I do have one thing to say." She stuttered out, unusually nervous as she continued.

"I think it's time for us to come clean now, Ed." She mumbled and I looked on bemused. Everyone looked at me like I should know what she was talking about.

Everyone but Jessica; her attention was focused on someone else entirely as her hand fell to her stomach possessively.

_**A/N- Ooooh! Please review and let me know your thoughts. Thanks guys. Next chapter up at end of week.**_


	8. revelations and ramifications

_**A/N- Hi guys, this chapter is a little shorter because it is just the end of the dinner scene. It felt right to finish it here, but it is up early for you as a little bonus. I will still update with a full chap at the weekend as promised x**_

_**So, you guys want to see Jessica and Ed Sr get their asses handed to them? Go on then….**_

_**Gemma xxx**_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Definitely not a hot protective Edward; poor me.**_

EPOV

I stared lazily at the ground, my brow furrowed in disbelief and confusion as my family glared at me accusingly. My father stood before Jessica, breathing heavily as panic and confusion marred his features. One by one, my family allowed their eyes to drift from me and land on the exchange between my father and Jessica.

Minutes had gone by and no-one had said a word. I kept expecting my father to speak but instead he just stared at Jessica, his face becoming paler by the minute. I tried to speak but found that I had no words to do so; it was Emmett who eventually broke the tension.

"I'm sorry, could someone tell me what the fuck is going on?" he said in a loud booming voice, taking a step towards the pair. My father shook his head as if to clear it and opened and closed his mouth repeatedly but didn't say a word. I wrapped my arm around my mother's shoulder as she came over to me, I could see that she barely had control of her emotions; her eyes full of tears threatening to fall. I clutched her close to my side and attempted to provide at least some level of comfort but didn't really look at her; I was still trying to make sense of what was going on.

"Let's just be honest Ed. We don't have to hide anymore, this is what we wanted." Jessica said towards my father in a sickly sweet voice. My mother scoffed in disgust beside me but maintained her composure. She was somehow managing to keep a semblance of control, whereas, I was rapidly losing mine and I could feel the anger and disgust rising up inside me.

My father growled lowly in Jessica's direction but said nothing; he seemed to be attempting to silence her with his eyes. However, Jessica was oblivious to his efforts and continued regardless.

"Just tell them baby." She pleaded moving in closer to my father as she held her stomach with a viscous and smug expression. I blanched at her use of the pet name.

"Baby?" Alice shouted in disgust before storming upstairs. My father looked as if he was going to attempt to follow her as he sighed in protest, still not speaking. Emmett and I both stepped towards him. Emmett looked worried and stepped between me and my father, but I moved to the side and stood shoulder to shoulder with him. My brother looked over to me with a look of shock and pride. I just nodded and flashed a weak half-smile. I was done hiding behind my family, I would fight alongside them but not have them fight all my battles for me; plus, I needed to ensure that my mother was cared for.

"Shut up Jessica, in fact; you can just leave. We'll talk later." He snapped in low growl and she stepped back slightly in surprise before her expression turned furious.

"I am carrying your child!" She yelled at my father and he screwed his eyes shut as he grimaced at the impact of her declaration. He cast a glance towards my mother but she had tucked her face into the side of my body and was crying gently. A wailing sound rang out through the room as we all took in exactly what Jessica had just said. Her stance and her behaviour towards my father had implied as much so we shouldn't have been shocked, but her words just made it real and it hit me hard. My main priority was my mother though, I couldn't think about how I had been betrayed, because in truth neither Jessica or my father had cared about me at all so I had not been wronged to the extent that my mother had.

I had instantly expected the wailing to have come from my mother but when I looked up, Rose had stepped in front of Emmett and was moving towards Jessica, her entire frame trembling. She raised a shaking hand in the air and we all watched in shock as a loud crack resounded through the air as Rosalie's palm collided with Jessica's cheek.

Jessica was silent for a moment before she gasped and clutched her left cheek with narrowed eyes.

"You bitch! How dare y-" she started but stopped short when Rosalie stalked towards her further, the rage evident in her stance and expression. Emmett made a grab for Rose to attempt to pull her back we could all see this wasn't going to end well, however she dodged his grasp and charged at Jessica again, gripping her around her shoulders and pushing her towards the door.

"You don't deserve that child. Two years; two fucking years we have been trying. Every month is a stab in the heart, every month he holds me while I cry for the baby that never was. I spend my time checking my fucking temperatures; I've been on every special fucking diet and every morning I down a cocktail of vitamins. We have seen God knows how many specialists and just get told to keep trying, I fill in charts and count dates, but you; YOU! You go out and spread your legs for the first guy you find and get yourself pregnant. You don't deserve it and you certainly don't appreciate it." Rosalie shouted in her face before she let out an agonising groan and she leaned into the front door and slid down it before landing to sit on the carpet, curling herself into a ball; her pain palpable.

"Emmett" I said softly as I nodded towards Rosalie's lifeless form on the floor, prompting him to take hold of his girlfriend and offer her some semblance of comfort. He walked over to her slowly and with caution as if approaching a wounded animal, wrapping his arms around her gingerly and bringing her up to his chest and away from Jessica.

Jessica looked towards my father in anger and disbelief as if expecting him to chastise Rosalie but now of course he chose to be silent, not having anything to say when it mattered most, and he accused me of not knowing how to be a real man. Jessica sighed in exasperation when my father did not jump to her defence. She slinked closer to him and he tensed visibly, she placed a hand on his arm and I felt the bile rise in my throat in disgust at the pair before me as I felt my mother clutch onto me tighter.

My father looked towards Jessica with a saddened expression, and was obviously losing patience with her. I could feel no sympathy; he had made his bed himself.

Jessica smiled as if my father had greeted her warmly, she was clearly oblivious to my father's feelings towards her or rather lack of. She was clearly deluding herself in the belief that he actually cared for her; I knew better. He only cared for himself, his behaviour over the years had certainly proved as much. Jessica's smile grew as she cast a self-satisfied smile in my mother's direction; I felt Esme's body tense as her head flew up to look straight at Jessica.

"I don't know why you are grinning." My mother said through her tears, as she moved forward on her left foot, pulling away from my chest but not out of my embrace. She was still holding on to me for comfort, I was pleased to oblige as she had done for me so many times over the years.

"You are just another one of his common whores." She spat before she began crying again.

Alice surprised us all when she spoke from the staircase.

"Save your tears Mom, he's not worth it" she said in a flat tone with a dead expression.

"Baby girl, you don't underst-" my father started, trying to defend himself but she cut him off cold.

"Get out! Take that worthless bitch with you. You disgust me; both of you!" Alice shouted with a venomous tone and gestured wildly towards Jessica.

"Huh! You should be nice to me little girl. I'm gonna be your new step-mom." She sniped; glaring maliciously at my mother, she gasped at Jessica's cruel words and I gripped her tighter, mostly out of fear of what she would do if she got a hold of Jessica. I didn't know how to focus on. There was too much going on, the women all wore murderous expressions which were directed at Jessica and my father as me and Emmett looked on, clearly out of our depth.

"Shut your mouth Jessica! I thought I told you to get out?" my father sniped, much to Jessica's confusion and her expression softened.

"But Ed baby. This is better than we planned. We don't have to sneak around anymore." She pleaded pathetically.

"You stupid girl! He doesn't care about you, you are one of many." My grandfather piped up, his playful tone long gone. He sounded so withdrawn and disappointed; disgusted. We all were.

"No, no, no. Tell them they agree wrong Ed!" she pleaded with him but turned away when his blank, impassive expression told her all she needed to know. She turned her attention to me and her expression turned vulnerable and distraught.

"I am carrying his baby, I am special. We have something special. We love each other. He never loved her." She said gesturing at my mother. I inhaled deeply in irritation and was about to speak when my father spoke again, his cold tone had returned.

"Well, she got the last part right at least." He said casting a cruel smirk to my mother.

Jessica let out a wailing noise and started crying loudly. I couldn't bring myself to feel any sympathy for her, she had brought this upon herself, she deserved everything she got; they both did.

"You should leave now Jessica. " I said in a low, steady voice. I kept my eyes on hers until she broke my gaze with a scowl.

"Get out Jessica. Get the fuck out, you dirty little bitch! We never want to see you again. Go rot in the gutter where you belong." Emmett screamed in her face as he stood with Rosalie tucked under one arm protectively. He used the other to swing the door open before pushing Jessica out and slamming it shut behind her.

We stood around in silence as she banged frantically on the door and shouted obscenities and insults through the door. Eventually the noise stopped and we heard a can pull up outside. My mother shocked me when she spoke.

"You can get out too. I want a divorce; I have for a while now. I've seen a lawyer, just for advice so far but I'll start proceedings to serve you the papers tomorrow." My mother said in a flat tone, avoiding eye contact with my father. He looked at her with an expression of disbelief.

"A lawyer? Who? If you had I would have heard about it. What, you think you can take me on Esme? I'm the best lawyer in this city, I am respected and my name is known. Who would give you legal advice against me?" my father shouted in her face and I stood between them. Alice began to cry softly behind me. I squared up to my father to warn him that I would take him on if he pushed Mom any further, he took another step towards me, looking surprised when I didn't back down.

"I would" my grandfather stood up tall and spoke up to his son.

"You?" my father said with a cruel chuckle. "New flash, old man… you're retired. You can't practice anymore." He laughed smugly; he stopped laughing when he was interrupted.

"No, but I can. She won't be without support." Emmett spoke strong and proud and my father stared back at him open mouthed. The shock clear on his face, I flashed Emmett a nod of thanks, he returned it.

"I have to go now. I need to get my fiancé home. That's what we wanted to tell you all. I asked Rosie to be my wife and for some unknown fucking reason, she said yes." He said as he looked at Rosalie with love filled eyes.

"I think it goes without saying that you are not invited. You represent everything that I strive not to be when I marry Rosalie." Emmett sighed as he shook his head in disgust. He ushered Rosalie towards the door and turned to me, slapping a hand on my shoulder and giving me a supportive smile.

"Will you be ok, Edward?" his face full of brotherly concern.

"Yeah, I'll be fine Em. I'll take care of mom and Alice; they can come and stay with me tonight. There is no way I am leaving them here. Alice, go and pack a bag please." I said as I looked at her with sad eyes.

She surprised me by reaching behind her and grabbing two large hold-all's and throwing them on the floor beside my feet. I gave her a tight lipped smile.

"Over my dead body." My father said stalking towards me. Emmett went to stand in front of me again, no doubt out of habit, he was used to defending me as I hid. Not anymore.

"That can be arranged." Emmett growled out menacingly. I placed a hand on his shoulder to calm him down.

"You take your fiancé home. Take care of her. She needs you." I said honestly and Rosalie gave me a grateful and approving look. She walked over and gave me a hug.

"You did good Edward, stay strong." She whispered in my ear before shuffling towards the door as Emmett followed behind. He turned to speak to me.

"Thank you, I'll come and see you tomorrow bro. look after our girls and call if you need me." He said and I nodded as he surprised me by pulling me into a hug. I slapped his back and pulled way. He left after flashing a look of contempt towards my father.

After he left, we were quiet for a few minutes, Alice inhaled deeply and I took her hand leading her to the door. At the sight of Alice, my father's eyes grew furious and he stepped towards me angrily. He stopped suddenly in front of me; I still held my mother on one side and Alice's hand on the other. For the first time in my life I felt like I was taking care of them. It felt good.

"You! It's your entire fault. If you had just-" he started but I stopped him, shaking my head furiously.

"No! You did this. You treated her with nothing but contempt. You say I'm not a man? Take a look in the damn mirror. You are the one who is pathetic and you have just lost yourself everything!" I was shaking as I spoke, he still made me nervous. I don't know where this strength came from but I was afraid of losing it now that I had found it. I continued, anxious to get them out of the house quickly. I noticed my grandfather looking at me with an expression of pride and it gave me a surge of courage.

"I will take care of your wife and daughter. I will be the man that you never could be. You make me sick!" I said as I pointed accusingly in his face, my hand trembling as I did so.

I motioned for my mother and Alice to follow me to the front door as I looked to my grandfather to follow. He nodded and we left the house together, leaving my father alone where he belonged. I held the door as Alice and my mother filed into the back seat and threw their bags in the trunk. My grandfather grabbed me and stopped me with a serious expression before I got into the car.

"You are a son to me, you know that don't you? You are nothing like him, your grandmother would have been proud." He said quietly with tears in his eyes. I just nodded, too overcome with emotion to speak.

I got to the car door and heard my father open the front door at the house.

"You ruined my fucking life, 28 years ago. You ruined my fucking life!" he screamed.

Normally, this would crush me. But I found myself not caring today. I got into the car. Not looking back.

I had finally stood up to my father, for the first time in my life. I didn't feel happy though, I didn't even feel pride. I mostly felt nauseous and prayed I hadn't just made things worse as every insult I had ever heard from his lips, replayed in my mind.

I shook my head to clear it and climbed into the car, I had to take care of my girls. For once, I was going to be the strong one.

_**A/N- thanks to all of you who reviewed last chap, I hope you all got a reply, I think you did anyway. So what did we think of protective Edward? Let me know… next chap up at weekend.**_

_**Gemma xx**_


	9. Until now

_**A/N- Hi guys, here again. Sorry it's a day later than promised, this one was pretty hard but necessary. Hope you guys like it. I absolutely loved the reviews for the last chapter. You guys are amazing!**_

_**So many people added me to the alert and fave's lists, it's in the hundreds now. That was absolutely fantastic! So thanks guys.**_

_**Please let me know what you think.**_

_**Back to our boy, it's a bit sad at first but little Bella makes an appearance half way so he should cheer up a little…**_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing, Stephanie Meyer owns all. Never mind though, judging by the next couple of chapters, the Edward in my mind is a lot dirtier than the one in hers. That's something I suppose.**_

EPOV

I slowly drove away from my childhood home and thought about the memories that it held and all that it represented. The image I used to have of our family seemed so false now that my father was having a baby with a woman younger than me.

I knew what I needed from my father; absolutely nothing. He was poisonous and bitter, with nothing to offer me or anybody else. As I looked at my mother and sister through the rear view mirror; I vowed to turn my back on the man I had called father for the best part of 30 years. Instead, I would concentrate on the family that mattered; I smiled at the sight of them.

We arrived outside my apartment and I looked to my grandfather who was wearing a grave expression and looked to be deep in thought. He seemed to share my concern about the silence that filled the car. I had expected a frantic and emotional reaction from my mother and Alice after we left the family home. Instead, they were just clinging to each other in silence, neither one showing any emotion. I watched them both carefully and was cautious as I spoke.

"Come on then ladies, let's get you inside." I said gently as I got out of the car and opened my mother's door, my grandfather did the same for Alice and I smiled gratefully.

I allowed my mother to lead them up to the apartment whilst I hung back at the car; I needed to collect my little treat from Bella from out of the glove compartment. I felt in my breast pocket to find the sweet note that she had given me along with her number. I wondered how sincere she was when she suggested I called her after the dinner tonight. I supposed it was likely that she was just being polite, especially after I told her that I anticipated it to be difficult. She seemed kind hearted and no doubt took pity on me and nothing more, I hoped I was wrong though.

This is not how I had expected tonight to end. I had wanted Jessica out of my life and away from me and my family. Now it seemed she was more involved with us than ever and would not be going away any time soon. I took some comfort in the fact that it was my father and not me who was now implicated in her plans and he was welcome to her; I would gladly let him suffer the consequences of his own mistakes. I still did not understand the full extent of his plans or what he had intended to happen, nor did I want to. Knowing him, it would no doubt be something despicable. I wanted to go back to earlier this afternoon when Bella had graced my forehead with a soft and innocent kiss, meant only for comfort but making me feel more alive than I ever had before.

I took a moment to quietly gather my thoughts before joining my family in the apartment and it was almost silent when I entered. My mother was sat on the sofa with Alice closely by her side, Abby at their feet; she was relishing the attention as my sister petted her head lovingly.

I placed the bags by the door and Bella's gift on the kitchen counter where Abby wouldn't be able to reach it. I noticed my grandfather rifling through the cupboards, apparently oblivious to my entrance.

"Coffee?" I asked and he jumped and shot me a glare, I stifled a laugh at his startled expression. He furrowed his brow at me in mock annoyance before shaking his head and turning away.

"No, I'm looking for something stronger…" he muttered as he continued his search of my home, shaking his head in amusement when he came up short.

I reached to the top cupboard and pulled down the bottle of scotch that he had gifted to me on my graduation. His eyes widened in satisfaction as he took it from me.

"Ah you had a glass then, it's opened. I didn't think you would indulge." He replied, he made an obvious attempt to lighten his tone when he spoke, but he was feeling this as much as any of us. I frowned at the memory of opening the bottle for my father.

"No, erm… he had a glass when he visited last night." I said, not wanting to speak his name or refer to him in a paternal manner. Alice gasped at the mention of him and my grandfather's expression hardened considerably.

"Oh yes, he certainly wouldn't be afraid to indulge." He replied with a sarcastic bite to his tone.

He took down four glasses and began to fill each of them with a generous measure. I was about to protest we handed one to me with a serious glare that told me not to fight him on it. He preceded to hand a glass to Mom and Alice in turn, stating that it would help to calm their nerves. They did not protest.

As my grandfather gulped down the harsh liquid like a pro, I sipped mine, wincing when it burned my throat on the way down. My mother continued to drink but I noticed Alice push hers away from her on the coffee table with a grimace before she offered me a tight smile in apology, I smiled back in understanding.

My mother walked in to join us in the kitchen, closely followed by Alice. I noticed that she was staring at the cake on the kitchen counter and wearing a curious expression.

She held it up and quirked an eyebrow at me in question.

"It's mine" I laughed with a shrug as I took it from her. She rolled her eyes and smiled at me but it wasn't genuine. I noticed her cheeks were slightly reddened, no doubt from the scotch that she had gulped down.

Alice narrowed her eyes at me suspiciously before speaking.

"You never buy the good stuff, you always eat healthy crap. What's changed?" she chirped playfully with a slight smile. I barked out a laugh and turned away from her. I knew they would get the truth out of me eventually, but I was enjoying this game a little too much. I found that I liked to think about Bella and her unanticipated act of kindness; it was nice. I was enjoying the lighter conversation with my family even though I knew it couldn't last.

My smile faded as I felt a short sharp pain at the left side of my head.

"Spill, little one." My mother said as she tugged sharply on my ear causing me to wince.

"Ow, ok!" I said as I backed away and rubbed the offending appendage. "Someone gave it to me." I said as I looked away, attempting to feign indifference.

Two sets of eyes shot up to mine as Alice and my mother moved closer, their eyes asking for details. I sighed in mock defeat and sat on the stool at the breakfast counter and laughed as the rushed to join me.

"It's nothing; pathetic really." I sighed in frustration as I realised how true the statement was. It was nothing, it didn't mean anything. The attention I was getting was making me feel self-conscious and I could feel my darker mood returning. They continued to stare at me curiously and so I succumbed and exhaled loudly before I spoke. I heard my grandfather chuckle in the background; obviously he found my discomfort amusing.

"I ran into Bella today, before I picked up Je-…" I stopped before saying her name as my mother's face turned sad and Alice's eyes formed an angry glare at the thought of Jessica. I cleared my throat nervously and tried to move the conversation forward to avoid the two of them becoming more upset.

I told them what had led to Bella taking pity on me and the gesture that had touched me more than I was willing to admit.

"And you know…" I continued, smiling despite myself. "She was talking about her figure as if she needed to improve it. I mean, you've seen her at the restaurant Alice, that's crazy right? What is it with girls not seeing themselves clearly? She is obviously beau-" I stopped myself from admitting that I had noticed her appeal when I saw that my mom and Alice were looking at me as if they knew something I didn't.

Their faces erupted with watery smiles and a quiet "Aww" filled the conversation. My mother and Alice shared a look that I didn't quite understand, and once again I felt out of the loop.

I looked on helplessly as my mother's grin transformed into a deep frown and her face cracked in anguish as her eyes filled with tears. I was about to make a move to comfort her, I wasn't sure how but I would have tried nonetheless. Alice beat me to it though and for that I was thankful. She wrapped her arm around Esme's shoulder, muffling the erratic sobs that were now resonating from my mother. I looked towards my grandfather and caught him stealthily refilling my mother's glass and by the look of the half empty bottle and the way she slurred her words when she spoke again, he had been doing so for the duration of the conversation. I closed my eyes before exhaling deeply and casting a disapproving look towards my grandfather. He just shrugged and gave a tight lipped smile in the direction of my mother. I couldn't chastise him too much as his concern was etched all over his face.

"That-s-s-s s-so sweet. It's lovely. No wonder he likes her so much Alice. Look at my baby's little face." She crooned lazily as she grabbed my cheeks a little too roughly. "No one does that for me when I cry and I cry all the ti-i-i-i-ime!" she half wailed – half slurred as the tears flowed in full force.

Alice rocked her gently as she made soothing sounds in her ear, stroking her hair in an even rhythm. I felt a pang in my heart at the sight of the two of them. They looked so vulnerable and broken, it was time for me to act like a man and take care of them.

"Well… Carli… Carli… Carlisle would. Sweet Carlisle…So much time wasted." Esme slurred with a sleepy smile before standing up unsteadily.

Alice's eyes shot up to mine with and angry and confused expression as she mouthed "Carlisle?" I shook my head gently, silently asking her to leave it. She pursed her lips and her eyes narrowed before she turned back to my mother without saying a word.

"Come on Mom let's get you to bed." She said softly and nudged our mother towards my spare room. "I'll sleep in there with her, if that's ok?" Alice asked in a quiet voice, I nodded and asked if she could manage with Mom, she nodded in agreement.

I turned to my grandfather and he grinned back at me with chocolate around his mouth, he too looked flushed as he smiled lazily. I rolled my eyes in response.

"Edward…my Edward." My mother crooned as she came to stand in front of me. She held my cheeks lovingly as she began swaying to music only she could hear.

"Go get her my little one. Get little Bella, whoever she is. Aww look at his face Alice, he likes her. Don't waste time Edward, you can never get it back, trust me." She cooed as she pinched my face affectionately. She looked so sincere as she spoke, that I found myself nodding in agreement. She kissed my cheek and followed Alice to the bedroom, Alice groaned as my mother began singing as she swayed gently.

"When I'm alone, baby, all by myself, you're out with someone else, Lovin', touchin', squee-eezin' each other! Well it's your turn now to cry-y" my mom half sung – half wailed as she stumbled to the floor in a fit of giggles. I helped her up and all but carried her to the bedroom. She was only awake for a minute or two before she passed out on the bed with gentle snores.

Alice stood by the door looking worried and drained. I pulled her in for a hug and asked if she was ok, she nodded weakly and I didn't believe her for a second.

"We'll be ok, wont we Edward?" she asked weakly. I nodded and rested my chin on top of her hair.

"Yeah, we'll be fine; don't worry. Get some sleep. Okay?" I said in a soft voice, hoping I could provide a little reassurance. She nodded but still looked troubled.

"I'm just worried about her. She might feel strong now but it's going to get hard for her, especially on her own." She said with a soft smile. I knew what she was worried about. She thought mom would go back to him, and that he would continue to manipulate and disrespect her. It was different for Alice, she was always the apple of our father's eye, and she didn't know him like I did; so his behaviour came as a shock to her. She was grieving for the man she thought our father was before she saw his true colours tonight.

"She's not on her own and you aren't either, ok?" I said and she nodded with a tight lipped smile.

"Neither are you. You should call Bella you know, if she told you to. It's all going to work out Edward, for you at least." She said ominously. I didn't say anything in return.

"Who is Carlisle?" Alice asked with a surprised expression as if she had forgotten all about it earlier. I sighed; this was not a conversation that I wanted to have with my sister.

"Don't worry about it. Mom has to be the one to tell you, I'm sorry. Don't worry though." I said, avoiding her eyes so that I didn't have to see the disappointment and concern them. Her eyes narrowed in frustration and she moved past me and sat looking down at Mom on the bed. She looked at our mother softly and stroked her hair from her face.

I said my goodnights to Alice and made my way to the main room and found my grandfather sat on the sofa with Abby and a rapidly diminishing bottle of scotch; I shook my head in amusement. It was impossible to get mad at my grandfather, he had that lovable rogue thing about him, and his smile was contagious.

He poured me a large measure and told me to down it. I did so and choked slightly at the burn in my throat as it slipped down. He poured me another and looked at me intensely for a moment.

"Enjoy your cake?" I asked with a knowing smile; he flashed one back.

"Well, it certainly cheered me up, you don't look any happier though, so you'll have to tell your little lady that I'm not sure it worked." He said with a chuckle and a wink. I couldn't contain the laugh that escaped from my chest.

"You seem distracted." He said as he lit up a cigar; rolling his eyes when I looked at him disapprovingly and I shook my head playfully.

I had long since given up trying to dissuade him from smoking. He would do as he pleased regardless and tended to just laugh it off. I didn't have the strength for that particular debate right now anyway.

"Call her, its only 9:30." He said, surprising me as he spoke; he looked drunk as hell. As well he should have, looking at how much had been consumed between him and my mother in the past two hours.

"I don't know; I'm quite sure she wouldn't want me to call her so soon." I said honestly, worrying about coming on too strong with Bella. I felt comfortable around her and I found I liked it; craved it. So, I didn't want to mess it up and scare her away.

"Didn't she tell you to call after the dinner if you needed to?" he said raising his brow in question. I sighed in defeat.

"Well, yeah, but I don't think she meant it. She was just being polite." I said as I looked intently at my feet, avoiding his gaze.

"Oww!" I yelped as I felt his hand collide with the back of my head.

"Stop being a dick. Women don't tell you to do something if they don't want you to. It's what you're supposed to do without them telling you that you need to worry about." He said with a chuckle as he took another drink. I looked at him thoughtfully for a second.

"I have to get out for a few minutes. Will you be ok? Take my room tonight, I'll sleep out here. I just need some air." I said as I got up and grabbed my jacket and phone, hoping he wouldn't question me on it. He eventually nodded.

"I'll look after the girls. Enjoy your air." He said sarcastically and I smiled before leaving the apartment in a hurry. My head was all over the place and I needed some clarity; just something. I pulled the note out of my pocket and couldn't help but smile as I thought of her. I thought of her eyes, her smile, and her hand in mine when I helped her up. I decided to bite the bullet and programmed her number into my phone. After a few minutes of deliberation I decided that it would be acceptable for me to send her a text. That way she could decide whether to reply or whether I was being too needy with her.

My fingers trembled as I composed the message, unsure what to say.

**Hello Bella, I hope that you are well this evening. I just wanted to thank you for your kindness today. Edward Masen. **

I growled and deleted it; too formal.

**Hey, it's Edward. How's it goin? **

I deleted that too, it was too Emmett-esque and impersonal, not me.

**Hi Bella, I hope you don't mind me texting. Thanks for earlier. Edward.**

I sighed and hit send before I could lose my nerve. As soon as it was sent, I became more nervous than ever. This was ridiculous, it was just a text. It would be fine. But I didn't want to scare her away, I liked talking to her. It was a few long, tense minutes before my phone buzzed in my hand

1 new message: Bella.

With a shaking hand I opened the message.

**Hi Edward, course I don't mind, that's why I gave you my num. How did it go tonight? Are you ok? Bella x**

I stared at the message for a few seconds before typing out a reply. I was wondering how honest I should be, I doubted anyone would believe me if I told them how messed up the whole situation actually was, but Bella had said she wanted to be friends with me and I wanted that too. I couldn't start that friendship with lies but I didn't have to give too much detail either.

**I'm ok. It was difficult and didn't go like I had expected, but I'm ok. Thank you. Edward x**

I sent it and read her message again, what did the kiss at the end mean? I was obviously reading too much into it, she would never look at a guy like me in that way. Would she? Should I have put one on my first text? I only ever text my family and I was out of my depth already. I started to panic when 5 minutes had gone by with no reply. I knew I had ruined it, scared her away and now she was too scared to reply. I shouldn't have put the kiss.

I felt relieved for a minute when the phone vibrated again, until it didn't stop. I looked at the screen.

Shit… She was calling me…

BPOV

I hadn't heard from him, not that I expected to but still, a girl could hope. My heart had broken when I first saw him this afternoon; he looked so sad and broken sat in his car with tears running down his cheeks. I knew instantly that I couldn't leave him without saying anything; it was the look in his eyes when his gaze locked with mine. As if they were begging me to do something, anything to help. So I turned back into the coffee shop and got him a drink and something sweet to eat, I remembered hearing once about low blood sugar and crying being linked and the endorphins in chocolate, it might be crap but it was worth a try.

My heart was beating so fast as I approached his car and saw him with his head slumped against the steering wheel; he had really given up, poor thing.

He went on to tell me how he had something he had needed to do but wasn't strong enough to do it. He didn't see himself clearly at all. Even crying, he was beautiful. I ended up giving him my number and telling him to call me tonight if he wanted to, silently praying that he would. But he hadn't. It was 10pm now; I deduced that it was a reasonable time to give up. He wasn't going to call; I chastised myself for being so stupid. He was probably with his girlfriend, the bitchy blonde from the restaurant, the one who didn't deserve him. I sighed and got ready for bed, I had just freshened up and slipped into my 'she-ra' pyjama top and sleep pants and slumped on the couch in defeat. Angela had laughed so hard when she saw these, she thought I was ridiculous and I was starting to agree with her. I checked my phone for the millionth time, nothing. I was pathetic.

I had tried writing part of the article I had to put together for the local paper but I couldn't concentrate. I kept coming back to green eyes that were too beautiful to be filled with tears. I couldn't help but notice how good he smelled too, God did he smell good I could just…

I was interrupted from my thought by my phone buzzing next to me; I had a new message form an unknown number. Please be him, please be him, please be him.

My heart pounded in my chest as I opened the message with trembling fingers, it occurred to me that I should not be this effected by a text, it also occurred to me that I didn't give a shit.

**Hi Bella, I hope you don't mind me texting. Thanks for earlier. Edward.**

I liked it, it was simple. Did I mind him texting? I had waited for it all day so I think it's safe to say I didn't mind. Even his name looked beautiful in a text. I groaned in frustration with myself for wanting the unavailable and unattainable because I doubt blondie sat around in character pyjamas of an evening, why would he want me when he had a girl like her; all high heels and big boobs. There was no comparison. I quickly typed out a reply asking how he was and sent it.

.. shouldn't have put a kiss on the end. Now I look desperate, crap. His reply came through quickly.

**I'm ok. It was difficult and didn't go like I had expected, but I'm ok. Thank you. Edward x**

I read and reread the message, something just didn't sit right. He had had a difficult evening but he had expected that. He said he was ok too many times which meant he wasn't. I was surprised when he put a kiss on the end.

I didn't know what to do, I typed out a few messages but deleted them, they were all wrong. I couldn't just not reply, I needed help. So I called the only person I could think of.

"Hello?"

"Hi Ang, it's me, I need help." I said honestly.

"What's up Bell?" she said in a kind voice.

"It's Edward, you know the guy from the restaurant yesterday?" I asked and she hummed in confirmation.

"Well, I gave him my number, he's been texting me tonight, but I don't know what it means." I told her in a rushed voice before I read out his text. She laughed before she spoke.

"It might just be that marriage has affected my memory, but I don't remember being this stupid. If you want to know what he means, ask him." She said plainly as if it was the obvious thing. I sighed in frustration.

"I can't just text back saying; what do you mean? That's stupid Ang." I said in an impatient tone.

"Of course not; call him. Love you sweets" she said before he clicked off the phone without giving me chance to respond.

I thought for a few minutes before I picked up my phone again and scrolled to his number, I clenched my eyes shut as I hit send.

It rang and rang and rang, I was about to hang up when I heard the click.

"H-Hello?" his musical voice rang out; it was unsteady and nervous, but still lovely.

"Hi, how are doing?" I asked trying to sound friendly but not over-keen. This was so complicated.

"I'm erm... " he said and let out a humourless chuckle, "I'm ok" he said sighed and I didn't believe him for a second, I wasn't going to let it go either.

"You don't sound ok?" I said but it came out as a question.

"Tonight didn't exactly go as planned." He replied as his voice cracked, I could hear traffic in the background and wondered where he was. Whatever had happened, it had left him shaken up and I had to help him. I just had to; I was inexplicably drawn to this man. I listened carefully when I heard a sniffing sound on the other side of the line. Was he crying? He inhaled deeply and his voice sounded normal again when he spoke.

"Listen I, erm... I'm sorry for calling you and I'm sorry for last night, and that you had to see me that way this morning. I'm just really fucking sorry alright? I'll leave you alone, I …" he rambled but I cut him off when I began to panic that he would hang up.

"Woah! wait a minute. You apologise too much, everything's ok. Where are you now?" I asked urgently, something was going on and it wasn't right, I couldn't stand to think of him suffering.

"Erm...I'm sat on the bench near my apartment, remember where we saw each other last night? Well I'm there." He said in a quiet voice.

"Ok, don't move." I said as I hung up the phone and threw on some shoes, I had to get to him. It was only a couple of minutes away.

EPOV

"Ok, don't move." Her sweet voice rang out before the phone clicked dead. What did that mean? Don't move?

Shit, she wouldn't come here would she, not in the middle of the night, well late evening. No, I'm sure she wouldn't.

I became less sure of this fact when she rushed around the corner looking flushed and magnificent. She really was a beautiful girl. She had her hear bundled up in a bun at the top of her head and was wearing the best pyjama set I had ever seen. A little 'she-ra' tank top and matching sleep pants; it was cute and hot as hell. I was touched that she had rushed out like this just to see me even if I couldn't understand her motives for it yet.

She looked down at herself judgementally and looked away, embarrassed. I touched her chin with my index finger and gently nudged her face back to look at me. I wanted to see those eyes again. I was amazed how things instantly felt better around her. I'm not going to say she made all my troubles melt away or something like that. Everything that I had on my mind before was still there, I just felt like I could deal with it.

She looked at me sweetly in question and waited patiently as I told her everything. I noticed that she must be cold and offered her my jacket which she gladly took; I was cold in the evening chill but didn't care slightly. She was more important, this sweet girl, who leaves her home in the middle of the night to come and see me because she was worried, she needed caring for too.

I told her about Jessica's behaviour at and after the restaurant last night and eventually I told her about dinner tonight. About the argument, the baby, Jessica and my father and even my father saying I ruined his life 28 years ago.

I looked up to her face when I had done talking and wished I had looked up sooner, my stomach lurched at the sight of tears streaking down her face.

"I'm sorry Bella, I'm so sorry, I mumbled as I brought her close to my chest, I expected her to be hesitant to the gesture but she melted into my touch perfectly. She pinched me hard on the arm, much to my shock.

"Stop saying sorry, you have done nothing wrong." She said as she gently rubbed the spot she had pinched. She pulled her hand away and I missed the contact, I wanted her to pinch me again. I resisted the urge to apologise. She kept her arms wrapped around my waist as we continued speaking and I rested my cheek on the top of her head.

"We should get you inside, you are freezing." I said as I noticed the chill on her hands. Then my nerves over took me.

"Would you? I mean do you want to... not in a dirty way, just for maybe a coffee…shit that sounds worse…" I rambled, trying to find the right words and gesturing towards my building. I was flooded with relief when she smiled and nodded.

"Coffee sounds good." she said as she took my hand with a smile. I adored the contact. It fit in mine perfectly, despite the difference in size.

I led her up to the apartment and stopped outside the door.

"My mom and Alice are asleep in the spare room and my grandfather is around somewhere, he is staying in my room tonight but he might be up." I warned her.

"Thanks for the heads up." she giggled.

I adored the sound and smiled back at her, I opened the door and led Bella inside, relieved when I saw that my grandfather was nowhere to be found. He must have gone to bed; I didn't want to scare her away so soon. I liked having her around.

"Coffee?" I asked, heading towards the kitchen.

"Erm, do you have tea? It's a little late for coffee." She asked nervously and I nodded, she did have a point.

I made the drinks and went to sit with her on the sofa.

"Thank you for this Bella." I said sincerely, meeting her eyes. She shook her head softly.

"Don't mention it, it's what friends do."

"Can I ask you a question?" she said uncertainly. I nodded, she could ask anything of me and in this moment I would gladly give it.

"Why do you apologise so much for everything?" she asked, tilting her head to the side thoughtfully.

"I've always done it; it's a habit I guess." I admitted with a shrug, it was true I was used to being in the wrong. Or being accused of it anyway.

"We will change that." She mumbled so quietly that I don't think I was meant to hear it, but I did and I hoped she would.

"You're poor Mom though, how awful." She said genuinely, I nodded and thought carefully when I spoke, I hardly knew this girl but I wanted to tell her everything.

"Yeah I know, she's taking it pretty well though, she's sleeping here for a while, and I'll try to take care of her." I said honestly

"I'm sure you will, do you think she will go back to him?" she asked and her eyes refilled with tears, I brushed the stray drops from her cheek with my thumb and she hummed gently.

"No, I honestly don't. She was leaving him anyway. She told me this afternoon, she has met someone else." I said, suddenly feeling tired as I rested my face in her hair. She made me so relaxed; too relaxed.

"That's something then, it all sounds very complicated. I'm sure you will take good care of her Edward." She said and I thought about what that would entail.

"That's the thing though; can I take care of her and Alice? Can I even take care of myself? All my life they have defended me and now …now" I rambled as my panic started to rise and my eyes stung with tears again. I looked away from Bella to avoid seeing the disappointment that was no doubt written over her face.

"I am supposed to stand up and be a man but what if I can't?" I asked honestly, hoping that she had the answers. I looked back to her and she smiled a sweet but watery smile.

"Silly Edward, of course you can. You already are." She said and I knew that she was wrong. I couldn't do this, I had never been strong enough before and I wasn't now.

"You know what I've noticed about what you've said? You let Jessica walk all over you for months." She said and I nodded in agreement, it was true.

"Until you thought she had offended me?" she asked and I nodded. I didn't think she had hurt Bella I knew she had. I remembered the tears in her eyes.

"You let your father treat you however he wanted for decades, until he disrespected your Mom?" she said, smiling slightly as she continued, I frowned and tried to formulate an argument against what she was saying.

"And you finally handed Jessica's arse to her on a plate when she said those horrible things to your brother's girlfriend, which was disgusting by the way. Poor girl."

She said looking sad again.

"Rose slapped jess right in the face; did I tell you that part?" I asked, allowing myself to smile slightly.

"No you didn't." she laughed. "Good for her. You can do this, just have a little faith."

I looked at her for a good few seconds her smile was magnificent.

"I can't do it Bella, I just can't." I mumbled as the tears fell and I started to panic. I clenched my eyes shut to try and stem the tears and felt tiny warm hands on my cheeks, I rested my fingertips against the back of her hands and basked in the warmth of her touch.

I didn't realise how close she was until I felt warm soft lips brush gently against mine, my eyes shot open and I froze. This couldn't be real. My first kiss and it was with this beautiful perfect little woman. It couldn't be true.

Her eyelids were fluttered closed and she looked peaceful. I closed my eyes again, her lips moving so softly and so slightly against mine. It was blissful. Like silk against my mouth, her lips were warm and gentle. Her smell engulfed me, sweet and feminine. Like strawberries and some delicate flower that I couldn't name in this moment. I felt heat rising up inside me, I felt tingly and unsteady on my feet but still frozen in the same position.

I was conscious of the fact that I still hadn't moved, I was about to when Bella gasped and pulled her mouth away from mine, I groaned quietly at the loss of contact. I missed her already. I dipped my head to find her eyes again and she rested her forehead against mine, her eyes closed as she exhaled deeply through her nose. My first thought was that she might be mad at me; maybe I had disappointed her, this fear dissipated when she spoke.

"Sorry…" she laughed out and I gently placed my fingertips on her hip and my other hand went to her back but I wasn't brave enough to pull her to me yet.

Her beautiful chocolate orbs came into view as her eyelids fluttered open, I gasped slightly when I saw them, and they were stunning. Her cheeks were flushed and she was breathing heavily, but then again so was I.

"Bella…" I started but she placed a fingertip against my lip and that contact alone was enough to stop me.

"No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. But I needed to. You can and will take care of your family Edward. Don't doubt that. But who will care for you?" she asked so quietly and with a desperately sad look in her eyes.

"No one has ever wanted to." I said as tears left my eyes. She wiped them with her soft fingers before she spoke again.

"Until now." She said as she wrapped her arms around me and led me to lean back with her on the sofa. I felt so safe and warm and didn't want to ever let go of this girl and it pained me to know that I would have to.

These were the last words I heard before my tears gradually subsided and sleep claimed me. I could have sworn that I felt soft lips against mine one last time but it could have been my dreams as Bella's lips featured in them all night.

_**A/N- Sooo … what do you think?**_

_**Gemma xx**_


	10. little notes and lovely quotes

_**A/N- Hey again guys; I quite like this chapter cos we meet Mr Whitlock and Edward gets giddy and smiley for a little while. Quite a bit of ground is covered here, this story is getting moving now and things are getting interesting.**_

_**Hope you all enjoy! Let me know what you think please and thank you to everyone who reviews or has added me. I love you all! **_

_**Gemma x**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own twilight, Stephanie Meyer does. I do however have a heavily pregnant best friend who is scarily hormotional right now…**_

_**As a huge thank you for all your lovely reviews, I'm getting this chapter up today. Thanks guys!**_

Chapter 10

BPOV

I woke up to a whistling sound, it wasn't loud and offensive just a soft melody. I swatted the bedside table for my phone and it wasn't there. The table felt weird, firm and warm and it smelled good. I snuggled into the bed without opening my eyes; I was too comfortable and relaxed. The whistling sound had stopped and I felt myself drifting off again, this bed was perfect. I curled myself up tighter and the bed shifted slightly and made a humming noise.

This woke me up, something was amiss. I opened one eye and was confronted with the source of the delectable smell and perfect warmth. I was greeted with plump pink lips forming a pout before they pressed into my wild hair. Edward curled his arm around my back protectively, his elegant fingers resting on my hipbone. I found that I liked it; I enjoyed him acting possessively with me. It hit me hard that I wanted it; I wanted to be Edward's. This revelation scared me because I knew there was a good chance that I could never achieve it.

I closed my eyes again to try and gain my bearings and formulate a plan of what to do next, when I suddenly felt the perfect lips press into my hair again with a sigh. I heard a quiet intake of breath and felt something soft and warm thrown over Edward and me. I looked up to the source of it and was greeted by the grinning face of an older man, his eyes were kind and he looked to be just a few inches shorter than Edward.

"Sorry sweetheart, I didn't know you were here and he sleeps like the dead." he chuckled in a jolly way and jerked his head towards Edward who was still holding onto me tightly. I sat up but didn't untangle myself from his grip just yet. I looked down at him and gently moved a lock of hair from his eyes, he was so beautiful. I allowed my fingertips to brush slowly down his cheek and felt him turn into my touch, his lips brushing gently against my palm. The skin tingled where his lips had touched my hand, I was so tempted by his lips, and they were calling to me, begging to be kissed. I was snapped out of my daze by the sound of a throat clearing softly. I looked up and saw the man who I assumed was Edward's grandfather; he had said last night that he was staying here. He stood in front of me still smiling widely, I found myself smiling back at him, I couldn't help it; his smile was contagious.

I looked at him apologetically but he just chuckled.

"You go back to sleep if you like sweetheart, don't mind me. I won't disturb you." He said with a soft smile, I looked down and noticed a heavy blanket had been thrown over me and Edward. I stroked the soft, luxurious material thoughtfully and looked at the kind eyed man in front of me, trying to show my appreciation with my eyes. He just shrugged.

He offered me a coffee and I readily accepted, my throat dry from the night I had spent drooling attractively on Edward's chest. I unfolded myself form Edwards hold and groaned at the loss of contact, it had felt so perfect to lie in his arms.

I noticed that there were official looking documents strewn across the breakfast counter and wondered if they were related to the events of the dinner last night but of course I couldn't ask.

"I am assuming you are Edward's little Bella?" he asked as he tilted his head to the side waiting for confirmation. I nodded with a smile and offered my hand for him to shake.

"Yeah, yes. I mean I'm Bella. It's lovely to meet you." I smiled as he took hold of my hand and brushed a kiss to the back of it with a dramatic bow. I couldn't help but giggle and blush as he did so, I could certainly see where Edward got his charm from.

"The pleasure is all mine sweetheart, you are just as beautiful as you were described." He said with a wink. I was surprised by his words, had Edward described me as beautiful? That couldn't be true, he couldn't possibly look at me that way.

"I am Edward's grandfather by the way, I don't know if he told you that I was staying here. You can call me Anthony and I am so sorry to have woken you. Go back to sleep if you like, you can take Edward's bed; it's still very early." He said sincerely. I gave him a small smile back before I spoke.

"No, it's ok, I'm going to head home so I'll get out from under your feet." I said as I took a coffee cup from him gratefully.

"Nonsense, you stay as long as you like; I love company. Plus, I think Edward is hoping you will be around more often from now on." He said with a smirk causing me to blush at the thought, maybe Edward did want me around, I found that thought more exciting than I should have at this point. I looked over at Edward lying on the sofa, he was stretched out clinging to a cushion with all his strength, every now and again he would sigh or his lips would move silently. I couldn't help but wonder if I featured in his dreams as he featured in mine. I smiled at the thought. Anthony offered me some breakfast but I politely declined and told him I needed to get home and shower and I would have something later.

"Ok then, we had better get you home then hadn't we?" he said as he bounced up from the kitchen stool with a smile. I looked back at him confused.

"Sorry?" I asked, confused by the 'we' in his statement.

"Sweetheart, its 5 am; you are not walking about the streets on your own." he said as he winked at me. I couldn't help but smile back at him, I could see that he had obviously had an influence on the man that Edward was and how Edward treated women. It was nice. I tried arguing with him and stressing that I would be fine and only lived around the corner but he wouldn't accept that.

"You ready to go sweetheart?" he asked with a smile, holding out Edward's jacket for me.

"You wore this last night so I'm sure he won't mind you borrowing it again." I went to grab the jacket from him but he held it open to help me get it on, he had definitely taught Edward to be a gentleman; I smiled at the thought. We left the apartment making small talk about the weather and my work but I could feel that there was something that he wanted to say but he kept quiet. It wasn't an uncomfortable conversation but it was tense. I got to my building and thanked him. He shook his head to dismiss it gently before he took a deep breath and looked at me seriously.

"Take care of him Bella; he is trying to take on too much. That is my fault; I raised all the men in this family to take care of their women, my son never took much notice of that but Edward has. Now that his father is going off the rails, he is trying to take responsibility for Esme and Alice. Please be patient with him Bella, don't give up." He said in a pleading tone. I nodded in understanding.

"I'm not going anywhere Anthony. I promise." I said, hoping that my sincerity shone through in my tone. He nodded gratefully taking both my hands in his.

"What a sweet girl…" he muttered softly before he turned away with a wave.

I chuckled quietly to myself, Anthony was a sweet man and obviously doted on his grandson, I hoped that what he said was true and Edward had spoken fondly of me. My smile continued as I thought back to the kiss last night.

Edward had told me that no one had ever wanted to care for him before and I had all but admitted that I did, I wanted to make sure he was safe and nurtured, that's what friends did. Yeah, friends.

I didn't think twice before placing a soft kiss upon his perfect pouty lips, I felt like I belonged there. This was home.

I hadn't intended on kissing him, in fact I had sworn to myself that I wouldn't. He had only just broken up with his girlfriend and was clearly struggling. I just couldn't bear to see him suffer anymore, I had to comfort him but I couldn't find a way. I couldn't get close enough no matter what I did. I didn't think about what I was doing, I just acted on instinct, I was drawn to him. It was inexplicable and I knew I was done for.

When my lips touched his, electricity coursed through my veins, I felt at home, I felt alive, it was perfect. Or it would have been had he not stood stock still and unresponsive, it occurred to me that I had forced myself upon him, he had given me no indication that he had wanted to kiss me and yet I did it anyway. This belief was quickly dissipated when I tried to apologise for the kiss and Edward brushed me off with a peaceful expression, he didn't seem angry and so I figured that he couldn't have found it too distressing.

I had rested my forehead against his as our breathing began to return to normal and I was desperate to see those gorgeous green orbs but I kept my eyes tightly closed so I wouldn't pounce on him again.

I pulled him to lie with me on the sofa and covered us over with his suit jacket. I hummed to him soothingly until he fell asleep. I removed his shoes and tie, enjoying making sure that he was comfortable. I placed one soft kiss on his perfect lips before laying my head on his chest and listening to the steady thrum of his heart, the even rising and falling of his chest causing me to drift off myself. I dreamt of green eyes, soft pink lips, and strong arms until I was awoken by his grandfather whistling at 5 am this morning. I vowed to myself that I would not fall for Edward, I could not. It was too soon and he needed a friend; nothing more, I would have to take it slowly.

I smiled to myself as I thought about him though, I decided to call Jacob and tell him about my texts and meetings with Edward. I told him how sweet and apologetic Edward had been, I told him about the kiss. He squealed at the appropriate points. Jacob asked if I liked him and I couldn't lie. I thought Edward was amazing, it was just complicated.

"Don't worry babes, it'll work out. Plus he's a hottie, keep a hold on that one." Jacob said with a chuckle before he hung up. Jake was right, it would be ok; I just had to keep going and not give up on him.

I was walking around the apartment in a daze, all my thoughts consumed with Edward. I loved his jacket, it smelled of him and I was sad that I had to return it. I decided to leave him a little note in the pocket for him to find when I did give it back today. I smiled as I placed the note in the inside pocket. I frowned when I felt another piece of paper in there. I know I shouldn't snoop like this but I couldn't help it. The paper was folded and I could see the faint outline of a number on there. I opened the slip up and immediately felt like a bitch. I recognised the note immediately, I had written it. I wrote him another, signed with a kiss and popped them both back into the inside pocket.

I hoped Edward didn't regret last night, especially the kiss. I'm not sure what I would do if he did, just as I pondered this, my phone vibrated from the coffee table.

1 new message: sexy green eyes.

I bit my lip as I nervously opened the message, saying a silent prayer to any deity that would listen that my green eyed boy didn't regret our kiss and that I hadn't ruined everything last night.

EPOV

When I woke up the sun was streaming through the window of my penthouse and I was curled up on the too small sofa. The warmth and sweet scent of strawberries was gone from my arms but remained on the cushion so I buried my nose in them and inhaled deeply.

"Ewww creepy." I heard a little voice say. I ignored it. Something nudged me in the arm.

"Get up weirdie beardie. You need a shave before work." the voice said again and I groaned and rolled away from it. I felt a sharp pain in my back and sat bolt upright in time to see Alice smirking.

"What did you just do?" I asked as I rubbed my back.

"Kicked you, get up before I do it again." She said with a grin.

I sat up and looked around bleary eyed as I tried to remember what had happened last night. My mother was sat at the breakfast counter with my grandfather, looking much fresher than she should have done after the amount she drank last night.

I sat up on the sofa and scrubbed my head with my hands in an attempt to wake myself up a little. I remembered Bella kissing me last night but I didn't remember her leaving. I became anxious to find out what had happened. My grandfather was grinning at me smugly and I didn't understand it. I was still waking up and my brain wasn't working properly yet.

"I'm sorry about last night darling." My mother said with a bright smile as she flitted around the apartment gathering her things. "I'm going to go house hunting today, so I shouldn't be under your feet for too long." she said with an apologetic smile. I shook my head lightly to dismiss her suggestion that she was inconveniencing me.

"You are always welcome here Mom, you know this." I said with a yawn. She came over to me and kissed the top of my head.

"Sweet boy…" She said with a small smile before she left the apartment with a promise to return this evening.

Alice left for class shortly after, having declined my offer of a ride; leaving me and my grandfather alone in the apartment.

"Bella seems nice…" he said with a knowing smirk, my head quirked up to his.

"You spoke to her?" I asked as my brow knitted together in confusion. He nodded and replied.

"Yeah, someone had to walk her home didn't they?" he chuckled, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he laughed at my expression. I tilted my head in question and he continued.

"I got up about 5am and woke her; I didn't know she was here. I made her a cup of coffee and walked her home, couldn't have her wandering the streets in the early hours could I?" he said with a guilty expression, I had forgotten all about my grandfather's aversion to sleep. He just always seemed to be awake no matter what time of day or night it was.

"Did she say anything?" I asked nervously, desperate to know what she thought of me.

"A few things yes." He sighed and laughed. "I'm not a thirteen year old girl son, if you want to know what she thinks of you just bloody ask the girl. She seems nice, very pretty." He said and I hummed in agreement and then a thought occurred to me and suddenly I wondered if my dream was a dream at all.

"You said you woke her? Where was she sleeping?" I asked urgently and he jerked his head towards the sofa I was sat on.

A wide grin spread across my face when I realised that Bella had been curled up with me all night, the warmth and scent of strawberries in my dreams had been sweet Bella pressed against me. I liked this thought far too much and had to distract myself from this train of thought.

I looked again at the pile of papers surrounding my grandfather with curiosity.

"I'm trying to sort some things out for Esme." He said simply by way of explanation, his glasses perched on the end of his nose. It was unusual to see him in such a professional manner, since his retirement I had only really seen him in playful, light situations.

"After finding out about Jessica, the divorce itself shouldn't be a problem, assuming your father doesn't contest it or Jessica is willing to sign to say she had an on-going sexual relationship with him." He said, watching me cautiously, no doubt making sure I wasn't going to freak out at the thought of Jessica, not much chance of that, thinking about it; I am the only member of this family that has gained anything out of the whole terrible situation. At least I managed to get rid of Jessica.

"Your mother will want to move on once the shock has worn off, she can't do that until the divorce has taken place, if she does then he can accuse her of adultery and things will get a whole lot more complicated. She needs to be careful." He said thoughtfully and I just nodded, I knew nothing about this kind of thing, so I could do nothing but agree.

"Could he still contest it?" I asked with a frown, I had assumed it would all be easy for my mother now that this had come out, but my grandfather didn't look as confident.

"Edward, your father can still make your mother's life very difficult, she could come out of a 30 year marriage with nothing but a broken reputation if your father tried hard enough." he replied with a heavy frown. I sighed deeply before I replied.

"It will be ok; we'll take care of her, so try not to worry or you'll make yourself ill and he's not worth it. You should talk to Em about it if you are concerned though." I said, hoping I could offer some small amount of reassurance. I walked into the kitchen, slightly confused because I didn't remember removing my shoes and tie last night, I still had no idea what had happened with Bella either. I must have fallen asleep on her, I was so embarrassed but the day had been exhausting and she made me feel so relaxed. Oh, and that kiss. It had been the first kiss of my life and I had just been frozen, why hadn't I moved? Or reacted in some way? I dreaded to think what she would be thinking right now. I had to call her today and make sure we were ok.

I had my back to my grandfather as I made a cup of coffee. He huffed out a breath loudly and slammed a pile of papers onto the counter. It was silent for a few minutes before he spoke.

"He's my son Edward… and he has ruined his life." He said in a voice so sad and weak it didn't even sound like him anymore.

"I …" I started, wanting to once again tell him everything would be ok. He shook his head at me.

"The family will be ok Edward, I know that. I have faith but… he is my son and it still breaks my heart to see the kind of person that he has become. I have fought it for so long, hoping he would change but he never did. I've been so stupid, how could I have thought it would work out?" He rambled more to himself than anyone else.

Before I had chance to reply to him, he turned on his heel and quickly walked into the spare bedroom mumbling about "only wanting to help." I considered checking if he was ok but he seemed stressed and I decided not to push him. I finished my coffee in silence and showered and dressed quickly for work.

I didn't have to wear a suit for work as long as I was dressed respectably but I did anyway. It was just who I was, I liked to look professional. I was boring that way I guess.

I knocked on the spare room door and my grandfather answered, looking a little worse for wear. I looked on silently, considering what to say when he broke the silence with a smile that was obviously not genuine.

"You off to work?" he asked brightly and I nodded. I told him to make himself comfortable and informed him that I would be back late evening and to eat without me as I assumed my mother and Alice would be sleeping here again tonight.

I left the apartment after grabbing my jacket and briefcase, I was thankful that I had programmed Bella's number into my phone last night before texting her as I couldn't find my jacket from yesterday, and her note was in the pocket.

I didn't have time to look for it this morning I would sort it out when I got home. I drove slowly to work, calling for another coffee before I got there.

As I entered the pristine, modern building I was greeted by a number of people that I didn't know, just as I was every morning.

The attention made me awkward just as it always did. The girl on the front desk was particularly thorough in her morning greeting, looking at me in that odd way and smiling far too brightly. I looked away from her gaze as her eyes raked up and down my body and I sped up my pace.

"Leave him be Lauren!" I heard a familiar drawl slur from behind me. I turned around and Jasper was jogging towards me wearing a huge grin, I returned the smile as he clapped me on the back warmly. He flashed a wink at the receptionist who was apparently named Lauren, I did not.

"Boy, I swear she will eat you alive one of these days!" he chuckled playfully.

Jasper did not choose to dress in a suit; he was wearing stonewash jeans and the most ridiculously large belt buckle that I had ever seen. I shook my head in amusement at the sight of him. He had on a well-worn Marvel t shirt and a burgundy corduroy jacket, he completed his quirky look with a pair of shiny black cowboy boots, and yet he saw nothing unusual about his outfit. We were so different in personality, so it was amazing that we got on as well as we did. I had worked at this company for three years, having recommended Jasper for a job here when he joined 12 months ago. It was nice to work with someone that I could relate to; everyone else made me nervous and uncomfortable and so I tended to keep to myself.

"So, how was your weekend? How's the bitch getting on?" he asked loudly, running a hand through his chin length blonde curls. Jasper had been another on a very long list of people in my life that hadn't liked Jessica. I was now on that list, to be honest I think I always was. I never stopped him dubbing her 'the bitch' at any rate.

I groaned in response to his question. It was strange; I had always found I could be blatantly honest with jasper, so why should today be any different?

"Well, I broke up with her because she was well; a bitch…" I started and he barked out a laugh, holding a fist out to me for me to pump in victory, I didn't do that, he retracted his arm with an eye roll.

"Excellent! Well done man!" he said happily.

"Yeah, thanks. Anyway, found out she's been going at it with my dad, oh and she's pregnant." I deadpanned as I picked up my mail from my inbox at the door to the main office floor. Jasper stopped in his tracks.

"Duuuude… you must be bricking it. I mean a baby with a girl you just dumped, that's harsh." He said with a sympathetic smile. I shook my head.

"You're a dick. It's not mine. I can assure you it is most definitely not mine. On the bright side, I'm hoping for a little sister." I said sarcastically with a flat expression.

Jasper looked back at me with a slack jawed expression.

"Holy mother of fuck in a bucket batman!" he said eloquently, I nodded and laughed humourlessly. He nodded back blankly.

"You're dad huh?" he asked still nodding numbly.

"Yup."

"Not yours?" he confirmed with raised brows.

"Nope; definitely not mine." I said with a nod of finality but he persisted.

"You're sure?" he pushed and I inhaled deeply in irritation.

"Jazz, I am a twenty eight year old virgin, Jessica is most definitely not. I think it is safe to say that I'm not the fucking father ok?" I snapped and instantly felt guilty. Anybody else would give me shit for snapping at them but not jasper. He grinned back, grabbed his mail and slapped a hand on my shoulder in a friendly way.

"Oki doke. So, where did you find your balls then little man? You almost sounded tough for a second there." He said with a grin.

"My boy is growing up. I'm so proud." He mocked as he wiped away a fake tear dramatically. I shrugged his hand off my shoulder and growled slightly at him.

Our floor had a main office full of desks, computers and graphics tables where the writers and artists would work in teams so the area was always pretty loud and busy so thankfully nobody had noticed my declaration. Programmers such as me and jasper had individual offices off this main floor. Mine was adjacent to jasper's with our joint P.A in the small office in between us.

"Fuck off Jazz." I said playfully.

"Well that's a big ole' word for a little boy like you…" Maggie quipped in her thick Irish accent, her shock of wild red curls bobbing as she giggled at mine and Jasper's exchange.

Maggie was our P.A and general mother figure in the office. She would give us a heads up when we were late for meetings, take our messages and generally take care of us. She was in her late forties, with a wide smile and a face full of freckles. She had met Jessica a couple of times and guess what? Yep, she had hated her too.

"He chucked her Mag's!" Jasper said happily as he spun Maggie around in a hug very unprofessionally. I noticed he didn't give her the dad-boinking details; for this I was thankful. I could honestly picture Maggie killing Jessica; with her bare hands. Maggie giggled happily.

"Well done Edward, she was a bad one. I told you that didn't I? Trust Maggie dear; she's a good judge of character." She said in a sweet voice as she patted my shoulder.

"Get some bloody work done you two!" she shouted with a giggle over her shoulder as she went into her office.

Jasper and I laughed along with her and I allowed myself to enjoy the light banter, it was a welcome break from the heavy conversations of the last twenty four hours.

Jasper followed me into my office and I settled myself behind my desk and he perched himself upon it. I wondered if I ignored him for longer enough he might leave me alone. I doubted it but I could try.

I decided to contact Bella to thanks her for her help last night and to make sure she wasn't too freaked out by grandpa Masen. He could be somewhat of an acquired taste.

I pulled out my phone and re-read Bella's message from last night; recalling the look on her face as she rounded the corner to find me. She was truly magnificent. I decided to try and keep it light.

**Hi Bella, I missed you this morning. **

**Sorry I didn't wake for you. **

**Edward x**

I sighed as I pressed send; so much for keeping it light. I had told her that I missed her this morning; I groaned at myself, I was getting in too deep here. I didn't understand what I was feeling. I thought about her all the time and was desperate to see her again even though the thought of seeing her made my stomach flip with nerves; I liked it. I was weird.

I tapped my phone on the desk as I waited for a reply. I looked up and jasper was stood in front of me with his arms crossed over his chest and one eyebrow raised in question. I shrugged my shoulders at his staring.

"Who?" he asked as he nodded at my phone.

"Don't say no one, your all jerky and tappy and smiley." He said with a disapproving look at my bouncing leg. I held it still and frowned.

"Go do some work jasper." I said in a cantankerous tone.

He sighed and moved over to my computer, bringing up the page of a Japanese inventions company.

"What are you showing me jasper?" I asked suspiciously, he had got me in trouble with his online discoveries before.

"Did you get my message on Saturday, about the fantastic invention I found?" he said excitedly. I remembered the message but hadn't thought on it this weekend.

I looked at him blankly and he got more excited.

"You will want one even more now you've got rid of the bitch." He said with a sense of finality.

He turned the monitor to face me and was wearing a proud expression; I proceeded to spray coffee all over my desk when I choked and jasper nodded happily.

"I know right?" he said proudly as I doubled up in laughter.

"jasper…what…fuck…." I spluttered out incoherently as I continued to laugh.

"The boob scarf." He said with no shame as I gradually calmed down.

The screen showed two immensely happy looking Japanese women wearing scarfs with large novelty breast fashioned to the ends of them and hanging upon their chests in the traditional position. I laughed again when my eyes drifted back to the screen.

"Right, hear me out Edward. So, you know how Chicago's goin' to start getting cold soon right?" he started.

"It's June." I deadpanned.

"Yeah, so it's getting cold, what better to keep you warm than a nice big pair of…"

"Sorry to interrupt you boys, while you work on your…" Maggie paused whilst she craned her head to look at the monitor, "Boob scarfs." She laughed, shaking her head.

"Hey Maggie, you've got a dog haven't you?" jasper asked and I became concerned about where he was going with this. Maggie nodded.

"Yeah, a little jack Russell why?" she asked nervously, rightly so.

"Does he like tits?" jasper asked with a huge grin as he typed quickly and showed the monitor to Maggie, who roared with laughter.

"They make them for dogs!" she screeched excitedly and I had had enough.

"Right, get out of my office. Enough." I said in mock annoyance.

The laughing died down and Maggie looked to me holding out my suit jacket.

"A lady just dropped this off for you Edward, if you hurry you could catch her; I offered to get you but she said not to disturb you when she could see you were working so hard." Maggie smirked slyly.

"I do work hard." I defended, feigning offense with a palm pressed flat over my heart and a sad expression on my face.

"You have been looking at pornographic winter wear for an hour. Idiots." She said with a flourish before she left the office.

I jumped up to the window and looked to the street outside the office building, we were only a couple of floors up and so I could see down there clearly.

It was relatively quiet on the street below as it was a square design with nothing but office buildings around.

I looked frantically around to see if I could see her leave the building, I knew it must be Bella that came in as Maggie would recognise my Mom or Alice. I gasped as I saw her emerge from the doors in a dark blue sun dress, her mahogany waves blowing slightly in the breeze. I touched the glass wistfully and wished I had ran down after her.

"She's hot." Jasper piped up over my shoulder as he looked in the direction I was looking. We continued to watch as she flipped her hair over her right shoulder exposing the porcelain skin along one side of her slender neck.

"Very nice!" jasper quipped again and I growled.

"You two really need to stop perving. You are kind of sickening and she seemed sweet. Her name's Bella." Maggie said with a small smile and a nod.

"I know." I said without thinking. Their eyes turned to me in question.

"Well I met her at the restaurant on Saturday night…" I started and told them about how I had met Bella, how sweet she was and that I liked her. I left out the other details. Maggie smiled reassuringly and told me to be careful, even though I stressed there was nothing going on.

Jasper pushed for details I wasn't going to give until he slinked off to his office, presumably to order a boob scarf.

I looked at my phone again and saw that I had a reply from Bella, I opened it quickly.

**You looked busy so I thought it best I didn't disturb you LOL. Thanks for the jacket, hope you didn't mind me borrowing it. Don't worry about anything. Bella xxx**

I also had a message from Emmett asking to meet me this evening, I agreed to meet him at his place for dinner, I had a lot to tell him and I wanted to check on Rosalie anyway. I hadn't gotten along with her at first but now I saw her as a sister and hated the thought of her suffering because of somebody like Jessica.

I smiled to myself as I formulated a reply for Bella,

**I don't mind at all, and I'm always hard at work LOL. but I will need a break eventually, are you free to meet up for dinner tomorrow? Edward x**

I stared at my phone nervously for a few minutes as I waited for her reply but it didn't come. I told myself that perhaps she was busy, but a voice at the back of my head kept saying she wasn't replying because I had asked her to dinner. I hadn't meant it as a date, not really or had I? Even I didn't know anymore. So what chance did Bella have? My anxiety levels were rising and so I tried to keep myself busy.

I looked in the inside pocket of my jacket to make sure her note was still there, I sighed in relief when I saw that it was. I didn't want to admit it to anyone but I had every intention of keeping that note. I just couldn't say why.

I pulled it out and saw that there was another scrap of paper with it. I smiled as I subtly brought the paper to my nose and found Bella's sweet scent on it. I opened it up with nervous fingers.

"_I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go,_

_things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you _

_eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better _

_things can fall together." _

― Marilyn Monroe

_You worry too much; I know things seem awful right now but everything_

_happens for a reason and you're not on your own. It will all work out. I promise._

_Bella xxx_

I felt a tear sting the corner of my eyes at her words, she seemed so in tune with me, and she always knew exactly what I needed. I knew then that I did want this to be a date, but would she want the same thing?

With that thought my phone vibrated on the desk, I picked it up with a sense of dread.

**Sounds great. Text me tomorrow with the details ok? I'll let you get some work done now. :D xxx**

The smile that broke out across my face was incredible. Bella had said yes to me, granted she wasn't fully informed what she was saying yes to but it was a yes nonetheless.

Maggie informed me that my father had tried calling a number of times, I just told her to say I was busy. For once in my life, he could wait for me. I had more important things to do. Like replying to Bella and planning a date for tomorrow night.

This time I didn't feel guilty for allowing myself to smile, I deserved it.

**A/N – Hi guys, thanks for your reviews and alerts last chap, you were so great that you inspired me to write quicker lol. **

**If you haven't seen the boob scarf Google images it. It's fantastically bizarre.**

**Those of you who haven't checked out Bar Room Angel by Vodkavamp76, you're missing out, you won't regret it, it's got me hooked and the author is lovely. Go on, you know you're tempted….**

**Next up is the meeting with Emmett and the date with Bella. Awwwww…**

**Next chap will be up at the weekend.**

**Show me some love please…**

**Gemma xxx**


	11. may the best man win

**A/N- Hi, thanks for all your reviews and alerts. You guys are fantastic. This was originally going to include Bella and Edward's date but it was getting too long and I didn't want their date to be rushed. So, that will come up next.**

**Next chap up on Tuesday. Let me know what you think please, thanks guys. Xx**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing; all credit goes to Stephanie Meyer.**

Chapter 11

EPOV

I felt a great deal lighter after my ridiculous conversation with Jasper and receiving Bella's note. I replied to Bella letting her know that I would text her later with the details of our quasi- date. I was still convinced that she saw it as a platonic rendezvous but I was determined to right that by the end of the night tomorrow; I would make my intentions clear over dinner. I had little experience at reading a woman's signals and so I could only hope that she felt the same way as I did, or that she would at least give me a chance to prove I was worthy of her; a fact that I was still only just starting to believe myself. Every time I started to believe that I could live up to her expectations, my father's words would resound in my head but I was fighting hard to beat those particular demons.

I worked a little on my latest project; an action game that was designed to have alternative endings. I never understood why developers would attempt this with a game; it added relatively little to the gaming experience and presented us, as programmers and software developers, with a ream of intricate battles with the user platform. To put it bluntly it was becoming a chronic pain in my ass. I was more than a little frustrated when Jasper barged into my office later that day; I had long since given up on trying to persuade him to knock first.

"Bow at my feet young Edward, for I bring sustenance!" He declared with a dramatic flourish. I glared back at him; like I said, I was more than a little frustrated.

He rolled his eyes at my obvious reluctance.

"What's biting you?" He asked playfully as he flopped into the chair opposite me and started unpacking parcels of food.

"Nothing." I sighed. I closed down the programme I had been using and pushed my papers to the side of my desk after arranging them into a neat, organised pile.

"Seriously bro, you need to get laid." He said with a pointed look. I rolled my eyes in disgust.

"I do not need to _get laid_."

"Course you do. Why don't you make a play for that girl that was in here earlier? She was hot." He said as he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"I'm not going to _make a play_ for Bella." I sneered back at him as he leant back in the chair thoughtfully. I didn't like him talking about her that way, she needed to be treated carefully; she was delicate.

"Can I?" This was all he managed to say before I pushed myself away from the desk angrily.

I was dangerously close to telling him to fuck off. I felt an unfamiliar surge of jealously race through me at the thought of Jasper attempting to pursue Bella. Realistically, I had no right to. I had no claim over Bella, she wasn't mine and as such she could date who she pleased. It dawned on me that she was the type of girl that guys would be queuing up to date, if I wasn't careful, one of these men would get their wish sooner or later. I pursed my lips in distaste at this revelation as I felt my face contort into an involuntary frown. My thoughts were interrupted by Jasper making a clicking sound with his tongue, when I looked up he rolled his eyes, looking impatient.

"You're an idiot. Calm down, I'd never do that to a brother. I'm just playing with you, so chill." He said with a wide smile. His guarantee did little to appease me though.

"Yeah, but someone else will, won't they?" I said with a defeated sigh. Jasper threw me a sandwich and slapped his palm on the table causing my eyes to dart to his face in shock.

"Fucking stop it. As your friend Edward I have the responsibility to tell you to get your head out of your ass. Yeah, a girl like that; some dude will definitely move in on that. But y'all can beat them to it and she obviously likes you if she came out all this way just to bring your jacket. Just go for it man, don't hold yourself back." He stated, leaning over the table for effect.

I nodded in response; I couldn't help but take note of what he was saying. He might dress and act like he was totally oblivious to the world around him, but he could be pretty wise at times, and he definitely knew about heartache. I unwrapped the sandwich he had brought me and he looked at me in disgust as he inhaled his concoction.

"I don't know how you can eat that, it's fucking boring." He said as his nose crinkled in distaste. I shook my head and laughed at him.

"You're eating a heart attack; you don't get to comment on my meal choice." I said with a chuckle, he huffed in response.

"So, what's the plan of action with Bella?" Jasper mumbled through a mouthful of food. I grinned widely at the thought of my plans.

"I asked her out for dinner." I said proudly, trying to tame the grin that was breaking out across my face.

"And…?"

"We're going out tomorrow night." I beamed and Jasper threw his head back with a chuckle and slapped his hand on his thigh.

"Well done Edward! See you'll be fine. She is hot though." He mumbled the last part to himself, obviously remembering the mood I was in when he entered my office.

I was feeling confident about the date tomorrow, now I just needed to find somewhere to take her to ensure that she was suitably impressed. I decided to speak to Rosalie tonight. Emmett was pretty useless at the romance thing from what I had seen but Rosalie was a woman with distinguished tastes and I knew that I could count on her to tell me how to make a woman feel special.

Jasper left my office shortly afterwards and I attempted to do some work for the remainder of the afternoon but my mind was elsewhere; Bella. I was keen to impress her; I had no doubt in my mind now that I definitely had feelings for this girl. I didn't want to take her out because I thought it was the right thing to do or because I thought it would please my family. I genuinely loved spending time with Bella. I noticed little things about her that I enjoyed; her smile, her eyes, and how she chewed on her bottom lip relentlessly whenever she was nervous or deep in thought. Plus, the blush that lit up her cheeks frequently was just mesmerising, I wanted to touch it whenever I saw it.

I left the office a short while later and walked out with Jasper.

"Well good luck planning that little date of yours bro!" he said with a smile, I nodded and thanked him, suddenly feeling nervous. He jabbed my shoulder hard with a chuckle.

"Hey, you could always invite her to the big launch at the end of the month; I was dreading you turning up with _The Bitch_. That would be unbearable." He laughed and I laughed back knowing full well that Jessica would never have gone anyway, Jasper was right; she was a bitch and definitely wasn't big on doing anything for other people.

I had a text from Emmett telling me to come straight round to his place from work as he had an early hearing in the morning but didn't want to have to rush dinner in favour of it not running too far into the evening. What he was basically saying is 'come over quickly, I'm hungry and want an early night.' I smiled to myself as I imaged Rose swatting his hand away from the food in the kitchen, if I knew my brother; she would have quite the battle on her hands right about now.

I arrived at Emmett's a little after seven and Rose answered the door almost immediately, looking relieved.

"Oh, thank God you're here. He's driving me fucking crazy. He's just getting changed, he won't be a minute" she said with a sigh, I leaned in and hissed her cheek swiftly. She squeezed my shoulder reassuringly.

We looked at each other awkwardly for a minute, before Rosalie cracked up laughing and I joined her.

"Fine, I'll say it" I laughed out and she rolled her eyes back at me. "How are you doing after dinner yesterday?" I said a little more seriously. She was still smiling but it didn't look genuine now. I kicked myself for bringing it up and making her feel bad. I frowned at my own stupidity as Emmett walked in; his face lit up in brilliant smile when he saw me.

"Eddie! It's so great to see you dear brother. I'm so glad you're here." He said brightly with a little too much enthusiasm as he squeezed me in a bear hug. I managed to shove him off me as I caught my breath and gave him an incredulous look.

"I only saw you yesterday." I declared, confused at his display of affection.

"He's hungry, as usual." Rosalie said with a smile and an eye roll.

"I wasn't allowed to eat until you got here. It's lucky for you that you arrived when you did bro." He declared and spoke again with a mischievous grin.

"Well, my day consists of work, food and sex. I'm done working and I was banned from eating, so if you had taken much longer you might have walked in on something you didn't wanna see." He said wiggling his eyebrows and elbowing me in the ribs playfully. I grimaced at his crude bravado.

"Don't worry though Edward, you probably wouldn't have seen anything anyway, it's a blink and you'll miss it kind of event." She said with a playful wink at Emmett, and a grin in my direction. I failed in my attempt to stifle a laugh as she motioned for me to follow them through and went to collect the dinner from the kitchen, declining any help from me or Emmett.

She brought in a carved roast and vegetables and set them on the table. Emmett dived in and piled food on his plate, looking as though he thought he would never see a meal again. Once he seemed satisfied and began eating I picked up Rosalie's plate and served for her, she looked at me in shock and shook her head.

"You sure you two are brothers?" she said with a laugh and I shook my head.

"I've not given up hope yet, maybe mom will tell us one day that she just found him somewhere." I joked as I set Rosalie's plate down and began setting up my own.

"Yeah, on a sidewalk; being raised by animals." Rose suggested jokingly and we both cracked up laughing.

"I know that you are talking about me, and I don't care." Emmett pouted, punctuating his words with a forkful of food. He was really kind of disgusting but Rosalie looked over to him with love in her eyes. She joked, but she clearly worshipped him, I silently hoped I could find that kind of love one day. Or any kind for that matter.

She caught me looking at the ring on her left hand and smiled as she brought it over for closer inspection.

"It's beautiful Rosalie." I said honestly.

"I know isn't it? Emmett did so well to pick this out all by himself don't you think?" she said as I grinned at Emmett, who looked away sheepishly.

"Oh yeah he did so well, all by himself." I said with a slight hint of sarcasm to my voice. Rosalie just smiled at the ring again. After we had eaten, I helped Rosalie clear up the plates as Emmett went to get settled in the family room. As we finished loading the dishwasher Rosalie turned to me with a smirk.

"You helped him choose the ring didn't you?" she asked with narrowed eyes.

"Yeah me and 4 personal shoppers over 3 hours." I laughed, remembering Emmett that day; I have never wanted to kill my own brother as much as I did when he rejected what must have been the 50th ring. It was over 6 months ago now, I thought he had gotten cold feet and was putting it off, but it turns out he just wanted it to be perfect for her.

"To answer your question, I'm doing ok. I was pretty upset last night but I'm ok now. It just hurts to think about it you know. We just want to be parents so badly. It's all I ever wanted Edward." She said with a frown, I placed an arm around her shoulders and she leant into me.

"Have you not heard anything from the clinic?" I asked cautiously, referring to the fertility tests they had been having. She sighed and fussed with her clothes, avoiding my gaze.

"No they just said that we have to keep trying, technically there is nothing wrong with either of us. It's just not happened yet. Em pretends it doesn't bother him but I know that it does. I just don't know what do Edward." She said with a sigh, I couldn't think of anything meaningful to say in this moment and so I kept quiet and just gave her a smile instead.

We made a pot of coffee and headed in to join Emmett.

"So how are you doing after last night?" Rosalie asked as I poured the coffee. At first it used to make Rosalie uncomfortable when I did things for her, now she just accepted it.

"I'm doing good, more than good. I have a date tomorrow night." I said quietly with a beaming smile.

"Fuck me!" Emmett said under his breath, causing Rosalie to scold him and me to laugh.

"Yeah, I know." I said honestly, it was a shock to me too.

"You're serious" Rosalie asked with narrowed eyes. I nodded. "Who is she?"

"Her name is Bella; she is a friend of a girl that Alice knows named Angela. But I met her on Saturday night. She was helping out at Angela's restaurant and we have bumped into each other a few times since then and I asked her out to dinner and she said yes." I said, smiling at the thought of Bella.

"That's brilliant Ed, really." Rosalie said with a big smile. "Where are you taking her?"

"I have no clue." I replied looking embarrassed. "I was hoping you could help, I need somewhere that makes it clear as day that I am interested in her romantically, and I want to make her feel really special. Rosalie pursed her lips and looked deep in thought for a minute. Then she smiled a tight smile and spoke again.

"I can't tell you where to take her. Sometimes, something is special not because it's valuable or extravagant but because a person has put thought into it and gone to a lot of effort for you. That is what makes a girl feel special." She said, casting a lingering look at her engagement ring. "But chocolate always helps too." she added with a giggle as she leaned back into the couch.

"Just do whatever feels right. What is _you_, Edward? What would you choose to do if you were only thinking about yourself? I say let her meet the real you. She will appreciate that more than anything else. Let her in." she said and I nodded, I had ideas flooding my mind and a lot or arrangements to make before tomorrow night.

"There is a reason we asked you to come over tonight Edward." Emmett said seriously, I was feeling a little nervous. I nodded for him to continue.

"Well, we wanted to ask you something and I want you to feel free to say no if you don't want to do it ok?" Emmett asked looking nervous, Rosalie stayed unusually quiet.

"Okay…"

"Well..." Emmett looked uncomfortable as he spoke. "Do you remember that conversation we had about Riley being my best man . I mean, we have been best friends forever. We went through school and college together, sat the bar together and now we work at the same firm. We're close, you know?" He asked and I nodded. I remembered the conversation. He had asked me who I would have and I said that in the unlikely event that I ever married, I would have Jasper as mine.

"Well, look, I didn't mean it." He said as his eyes darted to mine. I just looked back at him confused as he wrung his hands together.

"I only said that because I know that you get nervous in front of people and the thought of making a speech would probably give you a heart attack and well..." as he rambled on, I began to understand what he was saying. He thought I would be upset that he had chosen Riley. I wasn't; I understood that they were close. I opened my mouth to reassure him but he held a hand up to stop me.

"I was trying to save you from being uncomfortable, but when I saw you defend Rose last night; I realised that I dont give you enough credit. I was fucking proud of you bro. You have grown into yourself and i need to stop trying to shield you from everything and have faith in you." His voice began to crack with emotion and he rubbed a hand over his face.

"You were my first choice; you should be the one up there with me Edward. I really want you as my best man. We both do." He said as Rose joined him and they both looked up at me hopefully. How could I say no to that?

"Are you sure?" I asked in an unsteady voice. He nodded back furiously.

"So fucking sure, man."

"Of course I will Emmett." I said quietly as I nodded. He surprised me by Jumping up and wrapping me in another bear hug.

"if you ever tell anyone about that pussy moment right there, I'll kick your ass bro." he whisper-chuckled in my ear and I laughed back.

When he let go I could see tears in his eyes and a big grin on his face, his dimples on full show. Rosalie was shaking her head and laughing.

"I dont think he was this happy when I said yes." she joked and rubbed my arm with a smile.

"So, I'm now the proud owner of both of your man cards then, Hey?" Rosalie stated with a chuckle and I found myself laughing along with her while Emmett tried to look offended but ended up cracking up laughing anyway.

It felt nice to laugh with my brother, it reminded me of when we were young and my father used to work away alot. We would just let loose and be kids for a while, when he was home it was all business, we were to be seen and not heard.

It was a little after nine when I said my goodbyes and left. For the first time in years I felt light and carefree. I was starting to feel in control of my life and I liked it, I knew then that I never wanted to go back to how things were before. I wouldn't let Edward Masen Sr beat me.

I arrived home and found my grandfather in the lounge with Alice and mom, I excitedly told them that Emmett had asked me to be his best man and there was much squealing from Alice and mom and a proud smile from my grandfather. A little while later, everyone retired to bed and I lay on the couch thinking to myself, when my phone chirped with the arrival of a text message.

**Hi, I hope this isn't too late. I just wanted you to know that I'm looking forward to tomorrow. Bella. xxx**

I smiled to myself, she was thinking of me just as I was thinking of her. I would definitely make tomorrow special for her. But would she enjoy what I had planned?

**You can text me anytime Bella. I'm looking forward to it too. Edward X x **

That was a major understatement. I don't remember ever being this excited about anything before. I knew for sure that I wouldn't sleep well tonight, I was far too wired.

I tossed and turned for the remainder of the night, I couldn't get comfortable and more importantly; I couldn't get Bella off my mind. I was more than a little worried about the date; I was fast becoming anxious that I would do something to ruin it. I didn't know dating etiquette. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do and what would be considered a faux pas. I had so many things to consider, I didn't know if I should ask to pick her up or meet her somewhere, whether she would respond if I kissed her or if she would hate what I had planned altogether.

After waking from a fitful sleep filled with brown eyes, soft lips and strawberries I gave in and got up at 5am; my grandfather was already wide awake and in the kitchen, I cast him a bleary-eyed scowl.

"Do you ever sleep?" I groaned into my pillow and he chuckled.

"Not so much, how's Bella?" he asked with a knowing and smug smile.

"Ok, as far as I know, I haven't seen her since Sunday night, but she seems ok when we text, why?" I asked sleepily.

"Text?" he scoffed. "You know we used to take a girl out, you know… outside… to places…" he mocked with a grin. I groaned again and pulled on my hair.

"And if I wanted to talk to someone, you know what I had to do?" he asked with a pointed expression and I could feel a boring anecdote coming on. I groaned again.

"I'd have to walk… all the way to their house. Then raise my hand, not just my thumb, and my whole bloody hand and knock on the door…" he continued as he showed me the infamous hand, but I tried to block him out; I wasn't successful.

"Then I'd wait, for someone to answer…"

"Oh my god! This is the longest joke ever. Way to kick the arse out of it, gramps." Alice laughed from the bedroom doorway. I smiled with her sleepily.

"Why does nobody sleep?" I said as I flopped my head back into the couch and pulled the pillow over my head.

"So I was thinking, dinner tonight…" Alice suggested brightly.

"I can't." I blurted out and Alice looked at me in surprise.

"Why not?" she demanded.

"I have plans..." I really didn't want to get into this with Alice, she would over react.

"Who with? What, do you have a date?" she joked and her mouth fell open when I didn't answer.

"Seriously? With who? You asked someone out?" She questioned rapidly, looking shocked.

"I'm taking Bella out for dinner, it's no big deal Alice, leave it please." I pleaded.

"Is it dinner or a date?"

"I don't know Alice. I know what I want it to be but I don't know how she feels yet. I plan on finding out tonight though." I said sadly and she looked at me in understanding.

"What time are you picking her up brother dearest?"

"About 6 why?" I questioned, suddenly nervous.

"Ok do you want me to make you over?" She asked, even though I think she already knew the answer.

"Ok, ok. Shall I leave some suggestions on your bed for you?" she questioned cheerfully and this time I nodded. This was more like it. She kissed my cheek sweetly and went off to get ready as my grandfather stood behind her laughing lightly.

I took my time getting ready this morning, anxious for the day to be over so I could see Bella again.

Jasper was in meetings all morning and so I knew that I could make my arrangements for the date without being disturbed. I had a good idea what I wanted to do but making it happen at such short notice might be a problem. I texted Bella and arranged to meet her at our bench at 6pm, I would have preferred to pick her up but I dint want to seem too pushy. She replied quickly and agreed, this was reassuring. Maybe she was looking forward to it as much as I was.

I made the calls that I needed to in order to arrange the date as I had planned, everything was coming together nicely and I was feeling like everything was finally looking positive. Now I just needed to get to make it to the end of the day without my nerves getting the better of me. The day passed slowly and just as I was about to leave Maggie knocked on the door to my office, looking anxious.

"What's the matter Mags? " I asked as I became concerned.

"I know you said to tell him you were busy and that you didn't want to speak to him but he just turned up sweets. Your father is on his way up, do you want me to call security?" she asked with a worried expression. I reassured her and said I would see him. If I was serious about facing my demons, then this was the perfect opportunity.

A minute or so later, my father flounced into the office with an air of superiority, unfortunately for him, the main floor of the office was occupied by graphic designers and my father held no interest to them. Nobody even looked up, I stifled a smile.

"You better come into my office." I said in the strongest voice I could muster as I turned and entered my office waiting for my father to follow. He did so with a growl. I knew from experience that he liked to be in control but he could not do that here and so I would have to use that to my advantage. I reminded myself to stay strong; I had come wise to his ways now.

I took a seat behind my desk and he remained standing, again with the power games. I hid a smirk as I thought about how pathetic he really was, control over his family was all he ever had to make him feel like a man, and he was losing it. It was sad really, I almost found myself feeling sorry for him; almost.

"Why are you here?" I asked after a few minutes of silence.

"You didn't return my calls yesterday." He said in an accusatory tone. I sighed and shook my head in disbelief.

"What did you expect? I have nothing to say to you." I said, trying to stop myself from raising my voice, It wasn't that I was hurt by what he did because I had been dating Jessica, but more so because of what he had done to my mother, he knew how she would be effected but her feelings didn't concern him; so why should his concern me?

He scoffed at me and his lip curled up in a sneer.

"Well aren't you brave all of a sudden?" he mocked in a cruel tone.

"I have to be, someone has to be man enough to take care of your wife." I barked back in response, 28 years of humiliation and cruel words were bubbling to the surface e and I was close to losing it with this man.

"Ha! Cut the bullshit Edward. Don't let that mother of yours fool you any longer. You may think she is all sweetness and light but she has secrets of her own Edward."

"What are you talking about?" I all but shouted back at him. He shook his head and exhaled angrily through his nose.

"Forget it. Just tell your mother to sign that papers that she is served tomorrow, it is the only chance she will get." He said as his eyes narrowed in distaste.

"You're giving her a divorce then? How kind of you." I said sarcastically. He laughed humourlessly and glared at me.

"If she wants a divorce then she does it on my terms, none of you are getting anything out of me. She can have her name back but that's all she will be getting." He said with a smug smile.

"So what you are saying is that she has nothing to show for nearly 29 years of marriage." I asked and he nodded, he truly did disgust me. "She will most probably just let Emmett deal with it." I said, looking away from him but he slammed a palm down on my desk in anger.

"No Edward, you fucking listen to me! I have tried to be patient with you but now you are starting to piss me off. You will get your mother to sign the fucking papers, do you understand?" he sneered as I shook my head and looked at him in disbelief.

"Let's not forget I am not the only one who had fucked up recently Edward. Or have you conveniently forgotten what you did two years ago? The state that your mother was in because of you?" he spat as he leaned in to glare at me. I knew he was trying to look intimidating and a few days ago I would have seen him that way but now I just noticed how desperate he looked.

Memories came flooding back at his words. Listening to my mother cry at night, sobbing herself to sleep because of me. I remembered the sunken look of her eyes through worrying about me. The guilt ate at me once again. It must have shown on my face because my father smiled smugly. His grin widened as he spoke again.

"Do you think that pretty little thing would still be interested in you if she knew what a colossal fuck up you are? If she knew how fucking pathetic you are? Well we'll soon see if you don't convince your mother to sign the papers tomorrow." He threatened with a hateful stare before leaning away from me again and pacing the room.

I was suddenly grateful that my father didn't know too much about Bella. I knew that he had seen me talking to her on Saturday night but that's as much as he knew.

I would have to tell her the truth about what happened eventually, but not until we knew each other much better.

I knew that I had to speak to Emmett about the paper my mother would be receiving and let him deal with that. There was nothing I could do.

I tried to convince myself not to worry about my father and Bella. I didn't want to keep secrets from her but I didn't want her scared too soon either, certainly not by my father; she would definitely run for the hills after meeting him. At least I knew I had a little time; I was thankful he didn't know too much about Bella and so he couldn't get to her.

"Exactly. Talk to your mother Edward." He said as he turned to the door. I didn't respond.

"Enjoy your date with Bella tonight. Say hello to Miss Swan from me; won't you." He said with a sinister sneer as he left my office.

_Fuck._

_**A/N- hi guys, hope you enjoyed this one. It was so hard to write. Let me know what you think, I love reading your reviews.**_

_**Next up is definitely the date; I promise. It is total romanticward too; he is such a cutie next chap.**_

_**Gemma xxx**_


	12. taking control

**A/N- Hi guys, thanks for your amazing response to the last chapter. Here's chapter 12 and Edward and Bella get close, but it's a little angsty; just a little. Enjoy! And please let me know what you think.**

**Gemma xx**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything twilight related, a girl can dream though right…**

Chapter 12

EPOV

I watched my father leave my office and sat there in a daze; I felt numb and couldn't focus. I noticed Maggie giving me sympathetic looks but thankfully she left me alone.

I left the office a little earlier than I had thought I would but I couldn't bring myself to go home. I knew that Mom and Alice would be there fussing over my date tonight and I just didn't have the strength for that kind of charade. My father's visit had left me shaken but I fought to remain focused. I was still determined not to slip back into old habits. I wouldn't allow my father to gain control this time.

I sat in my car around the corner from work and dialled Emmett's number. He picked up quickly.

"Emmett Masen."

"Hey Emmett, it's me." I said with a sigh.

"Hey Bro! How's it going? You all set for your date?" he asked excitedly.

"Yeah, yeah erm… listen, I have to be quick Emmett, so try and focus ok?" I said as I heard him shuffling around in the background.

"Yeah sure, I'm listening now. You ok? It sounds kind of serious." He asked in a worried tone.

"Not really Em, dad came to the office today." I said with a heavy sigh, I was feeling weary all of a sudden.

"WHAT? He can't just turn up at your workplace and he knows it! I'll deal with it don't you worry." He said in an angry tone.

"No, wait; that's not it, he said mom will receive some papers tomorrow, he wants her to sign away her rights to everything. He won't give her a penny." I said as I began to panic, but Emmett just laughed.

"It's not about money Edward. He wants control over her; don't sweat it. I'll deal with it tomorrow; he's a fucking idiot if he thinks this shit will fly." He said and I felt reassured at his now calm voice.

"Ok, ok, there's more though." I started. "He knows about Bella, he even knows about our date tonight, but I know I haven't told him." I said and he thought for a moment before he spoke again.

"That is weird, but listen; try and just forget about it. He's just trying to be the big man here. You are rising up and coping on your own, you don't need him anymore and it pisses him off. He's a nasty bastard but I don't believe he would ever hurt Bella, you have nothing to worry about," He tried to reassure me but it didn't work.

"You don't understand, he's threatened me Em; he's going to tell her. He'll tell her what I did, I ruined this family and she won't want me when she finds out. It will be over before its even begun." I rambled as I began to panic.

"Tell her what? You mean when you were…?" he started but I cut him off.

"You know what I did Emmett, everybody does." I shouted, becoming frustrated.

"How many times do I have to tell you? You have done nothing wrong; you have nothing to worry about. You really care about this girl already don't you?" He asked with a sigh.

"There's something special about her and I don't know what I feel, I've never experienced it before and it's fucking me up Em." I said honestly.

"What's the first thing that comes in your head when you think of her?" he asked cryptically.

"Her eyes; they're stunning; deep brown like chocolate." I said as I got lost in my thoughts of her.

"Oh yeah, you're screwed." He chuckled and I groaned. "Look, if she is worth anything then she will understand when you do tell her. She will just want to be there for you. Trust her bro; I've never seen you like this." He said and I could practically hear his smile.

"I'll think about it, can you just sort out the papers for Mom?" I asked distractedly.

"Sure, you try and enjoy your date. Don't worry about dad. He's just trying to gain the upper hand, that and the fact he's a colossal prick." He replied humourlessly.

We said our goodbyes and I thought about this evening and whether I should cancel. I was anxious to see Bella but there was no way that I could go through with the whole date as planned. Bella deserved the best but I knew I would not be able to stay focused. I didn't want to cancel on her though, I didn't want her to feel rejected and it was very short notice at any rate. I decide to text her asking if we could meet a little earlier than planned. That way we could have a talk before the date. Hopefully, that would help me focus on Bella and give her the attention that she deserved. I decided that I had to be honest with her and trust that she would stay around. I liked her more than I was able to admit and wanted to give her a chance.

Bella replied quickly, suggesting that I call around to her house as soon as possible and agreeing that we could have a chat if I wanted.

Bella gave me her address and I quickly made my way there, hoping that being in Bella's company would have the calming effect it usually did. She really hadn't been joking when she said that she only lived around the corner from me, my hands were shaking as I hit the button for Bella's floor. For some reason, I was now nervous to see her; everything was all so new. I still didn't know for sure how she even felt about me; I needed to find out before I got in too deep.

I knocked on her door and was surprised to be greeted with the smiling face of another man. His eyes widened as he looked me up and down and I looked on confused.

"I'm sorry, I think I have the wrong door, I'm looking for…" I started but he spoke over me.

"Bella? No, this is the place. I'm Seth." He stated as he held his hand out to me, I shook it stoically.

"She's just finishing in the bedroom with Jake; I've already had my go at her, much to her displeasure." He stated with a smile.

"Excuse me?" I asked shocked causing him to rake his eyes up to my face again.

"Gosh! You look kind of pale. Are you ok?" he asked without waiting for an answer. He ushered me inside and I stood uncomfortably with him in the lounge area.

"I've done her hair and Jake's helping her with her outfit." he chuckled knowingly. "This is behind the scenes action and you are early. You weren't supposed to see any of it so when she comes out, she will pretend she just rolls out of bed looking like that and you don't question it ok?" he said, rambling a little too fast for me to understand.

"Well, you are a pretty little thing aren't you? Bella certainly wasn't lying." He said as he appraised me with his eyes causing me to cringe back, feeling uncomfortable.

"Down, Seth." I heard a voice joke from behind him. Seth was shorter than me and had a skinny, boyish look about him. I had a feeling that he was one of those people that was older that you thought they were. He had piercing blue eyes that were mostly hidden by sandy blonde hair that he would flick to the side every few minutes.

I recognised the man behind Seth as the maître d from the restaurant on Saturday night, although I had no idea of his name. He was much taller and well built, everything about him was dark, his short black hair, dark eyes and slightly sun darkened skin, and yet he had a light friendly demeanour about him; something about his presence putting you at ease. He grinned at me and I found myself smiling back.

"Hey man, I'm Jacob, I'm just helping Bella pick an outfit; she won't be a minute. I see you've met my boyfriend; Seth." He said with a wink towards Seth and a smile in my direction, I nodded.

"If he gets too frisky, just throw a ball and he'll leave you alone." He joked and I laughed along lightly, if only to be polite. I was becoming anxious for Bella to come out now.

As if she could hear my call, she popped her head around what I can only assume to be the bedroom, and my God, I think I died a little.

Her hair was perfectly groomed in loose, shiny curls that I just wanted to bury my face in; her make-up was flawless; light and natural but still alluring. Her lips had a sinfully tempting shade of pink to them which made them look like they were just begging to be kissed, licked and nibbled, and of course that delicious blush had spread across her cheeks. What killed me a little was what she was wearing, clearly Jacob was not done helping Bella yet. Her shoulders were bare but I could see the starting of a towel under her arms and across her chest; I couldn't stop thinking that she was probably naked under that.

I blushed furiously as I smiled at her and felt my trousers begin to tighten and I looked away from her in panic. I tried to think of something disgusting that would calm the situation in my boxers. I thought back to the day Emmett wore a mankini whilst hosting a barbeque. Borat was big in the cinemas at the time, it was very disturbing and nobody ate anything.

Suffice to say it was successful at resolving my little situation. I shuddered as I shook my head to rid it of the image and looked up to Bella's face as she greeted me with a breath-taking smile.

"Sorry Edward, I won't be a minute now." She said with a sweet smile.

"Seth, stop scaring him." She berated playfully as she turned on her heel back into her bedroom with Jacob behind her, she grinned at me before they disappeared.

I sat down with Seth and we talked lightly. I found we had a few things we could talk about comfortably. Neither of us being much for sports and Seth was at college studying graphic design and animation. We talked about where I worked and he told me that he was interested in comic book creation being a fellow marvel-nut. He also kindly told me that if I wanted to impress Bella, then superhero memorabilia was the way to go; as she was a total fanatic.

I made a note to myself to bear that in mind when I needed a gift for her, it would after all, be much more meaningful than flowers.

After a few minutes I could hear Jacob and Bella talking and they said their goodbyes before Jacob wished her luck. He exited the bedroom and he and Seth said their goodbyes to me with promises of us all meeting up for coffee soon. I found that my nerves had gone and my smile was genuine; the two of them just had that effect on you.

"Well, they certainly seem taken with you." Bella smiled from the doorway. I scoffed lightly before looking up to her.

_Holy shit._

"Err…erm…hi…" I stuttered.

"Hi…" she said breathily as she looked up at me through thick lashes and bit down on her bottom lip.

She looked breath-taking. Her outfit was a fitted midnight blue dress that hit just above her knee and hugged her body deliciously, it was covered with a half sleeved overlay of blue lace which hugged her just as nicely but added a demure edge to the dress. She looked amazing and was tempting me in ways I had never imagined.

"UH…. You look …wow, amazing Bella. You look amazing." I said as she smiled back at me and did a half twirl to demonstrate her dress. She looked so pleased to be receiving praise, I wondered if she wasn't used to being told how beautiful she was.

I walked over to her and closed my eyes as I kissed her forehead softly; she wrapped her arms around my waist and hummed her approval into my chest.

"You really do look stunning Isabella." I said softly into her hair and she raised her eyes to look into mine. I smiled gently at the sight of her; she was so beautiful. I knew that I had to let her know that I wanted more than just friendship from her.

"Thank you." She whispered before looking away shyly. I watched as her eyes faked over my body and I instantly felt like I was letting her down. She deserved better than this. I had just come here straight from work; I hadn't even shaved or straightened my tie. She had gone to all of this trouble to look so amazing for me, despite the fact that she always looked perfect anyway; but I had made no effort at all. She was about to tell me to get out I just knew it; it was what I deserved for being so inconsiderate. I felt her warm palm grace my cheek and looked to her face again as my gaze fell on her sad eyes.

"What's the matter Edward?" she asked sweetly and my heart melted at this wonderfully, selfless girl. "You look all nervous and roughed up. I'm worried about you sweetie." She said as she started stroking my cheek gently and I melted into her touch. My eyes locked with hers and I prayed my gaze would say what my words couldn't. Her eyes filled with tears and she looked so pained as she pulled me into a hug.

"What's the matter Edward? Please talk to me." She pleaded and I couldn't help but hold her tighter, I wanted so badly to let her in.

"I'm sorry Bella; I hadn't wanted tonight to be like this. I had the whole date planned; I wanted you to feel as special as you are to me. I wanted you to see how much you mean to already. It just all went wrong. I am so sorry." I said as I willed my tears not to fall.

"Oh, was this a date then? I wasn't sure if you just wanted dinner as friends and then when you came straight from work I just assumed…" she said before chuckling humourlessly and looking away in embarrassment.

I misread her expression and assumed that I had embarrassed her by expecting more from this evening that she had. I could hardly blame her for her assumptions either; I had turned up having made no effort whatsoever. She had probably thought she didn't even mean enough to me for me to care about what state I was in when I turned up. She couldn't be more wrong, she had no idea what she was starting to mean to me.

"I...I…I well I yeah I guess I did want it to be a date. I'm sorry Bella I should have known better, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, maybe I should go." I rambled as my face flushed in embarrassment.

I continued to utter mumbled apologies and avoided her gaze. I felt before I saw her lips on mine, moving soft and slow, I hummed in appreciation before I reciprocated. I moved one hand up her back to gently cup her neck, my fingers intertwining in her soft curls as my other hand played gently on her hip. I moved my lips softly on hers and she groaned as she pulled away, each of us panting into the short space between our mouths as she rested her forehead on mine. I placed a chaste kiss on her nose and one more on her lips before pulling away gently. I took hold of both of her hands and held them in mine tightly, appreciating the contact.

"I don't need a fancy date Edward; I just need this right here. I just want to spend time with you." She said sincerely as she looked into my eyes, I was relieved to see that her smile was back.

I smiled at her in appreciation and tried to find the words to explain my behaviour and tell her how wonderful she was, I was still staring at her in awe when she spoke again.

"Listen, you look kind of beat and you said you wanted to talk about something. Would you prefer it if we had dinner here tonight?" she asked hopefully and once again I was blown away by her kindness. I wanted so badly to say no and take her out but I just didn't have the strength so I found myself nodding.

"Ok then, I'll have a look what we have and then you can help me cook." She suggested brightly and I nodded in agreement. I made a few calls to cancel the arrangements I had made for this evening and then went to join Bella in the kitchen area.

Bella's apartment was laid out much like mine although smaller in size, it had a warm, inviting lounge area and a kitchen just off from that, with a small den at the back and hat I assumed to be the bedroom and bathroom to left of that.

"How does chicken parmesan sound?" she said, placing a hand on my arm.

"Excellent." I nodded earning me another smile.

Bella had me prepare the chicken whilst she made up the sauce, she was cute in the kitchen and I used any excuse to move near her, or brush past her so that our bodies touched lightly. I was becoming addicted to her, intoxicated by her very presence. We put the dinner in to bake and sat down on the sofa together, I took this opportunity to get close to Bella and sat next to her with my arm around the back of the sofa behind her head. She once again surprised me by taking hold of my hand to curl my arm around her shoulders, thus, thwarting my attempt at stealthily getting close to her. Her smile was knowing and wide, I revelled in it.

She asked me repeatedly to tell her what I had originally planned for this evening but I declined each time, telling her I was determined to still have that perfect date, I just didn't know when it would be. If I told her about it, then it wouldn't be as special. She seemed to accept this and called me a hopeless romantic; which I took as a compliment and told her she deserved to be courted properly. Bella hugged me lightly again when I said this.

"There is a reason I wanted to talk to you Bella…" I started and she nodded back at me to indicate that she was listening. She must have sensed it was difficult for me as she grasped both of my hands in hers again. I smiled back gratefully.

"I don't get along very well with my father Bella, and we had a … disagreement today. I am a constant source of disappointment for him and he likes to remind me of that." I said to her honestly.

I could feel the tears sting my eyes, Bella must have noticed I was becoming affected by this because she went to hug me again. I decided to take a chance and touched her chin gently with my fingers, guiding her face to mine for another kiss. She closed her eyes and sighed softly as our lips touched. My lips moved against hers gently in a feather-like caress, trying to communicate how much she meant to me as my hands roamed up and down her back in appreciation. Her hands moved to my shoulders and along my neck before finally winding in my hair and tugging gently at the roots; earning a whimper from me. Every nerve ending in my body felt alive, I was on fire, and I had never felt anything like this before. Bella's tongue darted out and caressed my bottom lip, eliciting a gasp from my mouth. Her tongue softly entered my mouth and caressed my tongue. I tasted the essence of her mouth and something snapped in me. I was overcome with need for this girl and just couldn't get close enough, I couldn't taste enough.

My hands roamed down her back and found purchase on the curve of her hips as I moved in closer to her. I was moaning and panting into her mouth just as she was into mine as our tongues fought for dominance and our hands roamed each other hungrily.

I moaned loudly into her mouth as I guided her onto her back on the sofa, my hands still steady on her hips, hers having found purchase in my hair again. Each tug she gave on the strands fuelled the fire inside of me, added to the intense need that was building. I needed this girl like I had never needed anything before and the way she was grasping at me told me that she needed me just as much. Bella threw her head back briefly as she brought her hips to meet mine and the air fell from my lungs, her hips felt so hot against me, my pelvis buckled into her as if of its own volition, I needed friction, I needed contact. I ran my hands up and down her sides, I couldn't get enough, my senses were overwhelmed, and I needed this. Whatever she was trying to give me, I needed it, so badly. I felt her breath fan my face deliciously before her lips found my neck, running soft caresses down the length of my throat as her hips rotated into my arousal once more. I could not be ashamed of it, there was no way that she wouldn't know about the growing need against her hip, she was actively seeking it out at this point, she didn't seem disgusted by it so neither was I. Everything I felt with Bella was new; so raw.

I adored the soft whimpers and moans that escaped from her and welcomed them with my own, the way my name sounded as it tumbled from her lips was fuelling me on. The friction was eliciting new feelings within me and the heat was building in my abdomen, my eyes met with Bella's and she moved against me again with purpose.

I came to my senses and gently lifted myself away from Bella, mumbling apologies. I had no idea what had gotten into me, Bella was delicate and needed to be treated with respect. This wasn't a way that I had ever behaved before, Bella just seemed to light a fire in me but I desperately needed to keep it under control. After both Bella and I had stilled, we sat up in an embrace; panting onto each other, she moved to sit close to me and kissed me again, much more chastely this time.

"I'm sorry, but we have to stop." I whispered apologetically.

"Perhaps that's for the best." she mumbled unconvincingly with a final kiss as she went to serve up dinner, looking greatly disappointed, she was in a dishevelled state as no doubt was I. I had mussed her hair and make-up and she was extremely flushed. It hit me that I had done that to her and yet never had I seen a woman look so attractive. The guilt and pride raced through me in equal measures.

Bella returned with the food a short while later, I had stayed on the sofa alone to try and calm the situation I had going on, lest I lose control with Bella again. I couldn't help but notice that Bella looked a little better-presented when she returned, obviously having made the effort to rectify the damage I had caused to her appearance. She still greeted me with a warm smile and waved me away with a kiss each time I tried to apologise. Even going as far as telling me she didn't regret it and gracing me with a wink.

Although Bella had a dining table close by we elected to eat in front of the TV, something which I wasn't accustomed to but yet seemed to fit the moment. We sat so close that I could feel the heat rolling off her body in waves, it was deliciously tempting. I couldn't help myself from stealing glances at her in between bites, beaming back at her whenever I caught her peeking at me from under her lashes. Dinner was relaxed and carefree, Bella and I laughing freely. I felt like a different person around Bella, I didn't have to hide with her. It was liberating. I had definitely made up my mind about Bella; I had to ask her, I had to know how she was feeling about me.

After we had finished eating, I cleared the plates away, much to Bella's protest and joined her again on the sofa, taking hold her tiny hands in mine. I avoided her gaze as I searched for the confidence to say what I wanted to say.

"I feel like I have known you for so long Bella, I want you to know me. I want to let you in, and that's something that I never do. I don't know how you feel though; I don't know what you expect from me." I said quietly as I felt her squeeze my hand reassuringly.

"What do you want Edward? What do you want this to be?" she questioned gently, her eyes seeking out mine.

"You." I said simply as I brushed a strand of hair from her face. "Just you. I want to make you mine but I really don't know how. I've never… well, I've never really had a girlfriend; I've certainly never felt like this. It scares me a little." I said honestly and she nodded. Her brow furrowed and she pursed her lips before speaking again.

"What about the girl from the restaurant? I mean, if you don't mind me asking." She prompted gently.

"Jessica." I said her name with distaste. "In all honesty, I don't think we were ever really together. I never felt anything for her, I only dated her because I thought it might make my father proud of me for the first time in 28 years, and that's…really pathetic." I said sadly, shaking my head in shame.

"Not at all, I know what it's like to want your parents to be proud of you. I understand, but you have to be happy Edward. What makes you happy?" she said so sweetly that ii couldn't resist.

"This." I said as I placed a chaste kiss to her forehead and she pulled my arm around her shoulders again, resting her head on my chest.

"You're a sweetheart Edward." She said and I chuckled. That was one of the nicer things I had been called in my lifetime.

"So, you didn't love Jessica?" she asked and she looked almost nervous. I resisted the urge to laugh at her ridiculous question.

"No, definitely not. I barely liked her most of the time." I said honestly and I could have sworn I saw the makings of a smile play at the corners of her mouth. I smirked back.

"I like that smile." She laughed and I looked at her in question.

"It's all crooked and one sided. A sexy half smile." She stated wistfully as she gently stroked on side of my mouth. I grinned back at her.

Suddenly, I was overcome with frustration and felt out of my depth. I groaned and dragged a hand through my hair.

"What's the matter?" Bella laughed as she prodded my side playfully, eliciting a little squeal from me.

"I don't know how to do this Bella. I can think of 50 ways to ask but they all sound stupid or corny or weird." I groaned in frustration.

"What are you trying to ask?" she said, tilting her head to the side. "Maybe I can help you formulate the question." She teased.

"I want to make you mine, so how would I go about doing that Isabella?" I asked playfully, flashing her favourite crooked smile, she laughed.

My newfound confidence waned when I saw the look on her face, her brow was creased and her lips formed a tight line. I clamped my eyes closed and sighed, I was embarrassed and slightly ashamed and so I pulled away from her a little, she placed her hand in the crook of my elbow and pulled me closer to her, her head resting flat against my chest.

"I'm not saying no Edward." She whispered.

"But you're not saying yes either." I mumbled into her hair, kissing the top of her head.

"I kind of am." She said, looking up at me and I sighed in confusion, causing her to giggle. "I'm just saying take it slow, we have a tendency to get carried away and we don't need to. You only just got out of your last relationship, literally. There's no rush." She said as she placed a chaste kiss to my lips. I understood what she was saying but now I was even more confused.

"Like I said, I've never done this before so I have no idea what you mean." I said as I pinched the bridge of my nose to try and clear my thoughts, I felt Bella gently pull my hand away from my face.

"I haven't either; it's new for both of us. Let's just take our time. I want to get to know you and I have no interest in seeing anybody else, so I will be exclusive if that's what's worrying you." She assured me and my worries began to dissipate.

"I don't want anyone else either." I whispered and she beamed back at me, causing me to laugh in relief.

"So…" I said, nervous about asking again but needing the clarification.

"You are a very logical person aren't you, Edward?" she giggled as I looked at her confused.

"I can practically see your brain ticking over, you need an absolute, a label." She said and I frowned when I realised she could see right through me. I did need a label, I should just be grateful for what I could get with Bella. She giggled back at me.

"You can say it, Edward." She said nudging me playfully in the side.

"Erm… girlfriend?" I said but it came out as a question, I could feel the grimace on my face but I couldn't seem to get rid of it. Bella burst out laughing and I groaned.

"You said that with such disgust, like you were scared of the word." She said shaking her head. "But yes girlfriend is good." She beamed and I grinned back.

The way that she looked at me with such trust and affection cut straight through my heart, I needed to know that she would stick around after finding out what a screw up I was but at the same time I didn't want to scare her away too soon. I could feel the panic building up inside of me, threatening to spill out. I took a few deep breaths to calm myself.

"I need to tell you something, Bella." I said solemnly and her face fell.

"Oh god, that's never good." She said as she lifted up my hand and squinted at my fingers.

"What are you doing?" I asked in disbelief. She gave me a look that clearly implied I was an idiot.

"Looking for the tide marks from a ring." She stated plainly.

"I'm not married Bella, its nothing like that." I said honestly but she still eyed me suspiciously.

"You sure?" she asked and I nodded.

"I'm single, I promise." I reassured her.

"Not any mo-ore" she sing songed as she kissed my palm. I smiled at her.

"There is something that not many people know about me, a secret within the family. But my father is threatening to use it against me and he knows that right now the easiest way to hurt me would be to try and get you to walk away from me."

"Why would your father want to hurt you?" she asked sincerely and the question floored me. I didn't know how to respond to that because I had never really known the answer.

"We don't get along." I stated as I looked at the floor.

"Ok, you know you can tell me anything. I won't go anywhere Edward. It would have to be something really serious for me to even consider letting you go now. And I mean really really bad, against the law bad." She rambled nervously and I was struck with how adorable she was in this moment.

"It's nothing like that I promise." I assured her and she sighed in relief. Her eyes were pleading with me to tell her but I filled with shame again.

"I didn't mean to hurt anybody, I was sick and in a really dark place, I wasn't myself. I just couldn't do it anymore I...I…I was a coward and I hurt my family, especially my mom. But I didn't mean to Bella, I swear I didn't." I sobbed as I buried my head in my hands, even though it pained me to pull away from her. I expected her to pull away in disappointment at the sight of me crying but I felt her rubbing soothing circles on my back. She never failed to surprise me.

"I was going to tell you Bella, I swear I was but I just wanted a chance to get to know you first. I've only just met you but I feel this connection to you and it terrifies me. I never wanted your pity. Look at the fucking state of me?" I groaned in anguish.

"What did you do Edward? Its ok, you can tell me. Trust me Edward… let me in." she pleaded with her eyes for me to trust her, I had expected to see tears but she looked determined. She was sincere.

I couldn't bring myself to speak the words and so I removed her hands from mine and rolled up my sleeves to show her, eliciting a gasp from her as her hand flew up to cover her mouth.

"Oh, Edward." She said as her agony filled eyes shot up to mine.

**A/N- Let me know what you think please, next chapter up on Saturday. Thanks guys xx**


	13. Laid Bare

_**A/N- hey guys- I was going to split this up a bit but seeing as I left you on a bit of a cliffy last time, Edward gets a chance to tell his story in full. Enjoy! It's angsty but not overly graphic, I don't think. **_

_**This is also the last chap for a while where Edward is going to be all tearful. I think our boy has earned some happy time, so, that's coming up. But angryward might come out to play…**_

_**Let me know what you make of it.**_

_**Huge thanks to Anna for beta'ing this chapter**_

_**Thanks guys,**_

_**Gemma x**_

_**Disclaimer – I own nothing, all credit to Ms Meyer.**_

Chapter 13

EPOV

I hesitantly opened my eyes and waited for Bella's reaction as she slowly lowered her hand from her mouth. She closed her eyes softly and her lips formed into a tight line, obviously considering what to say. My breaths came in harsh, jagged pants as her fingers slowly moved towards my arm but then she withdrew her hand quickly with a slight shake of her head, as if scolding herself somehow. I knew that this was probably a shock to her and that it could be disturbing to see at first; so I gave her a moment to see what she would do. In all honesty, as scared as I was, I was also curious. I had never shown anyone my scars before, I usually went to great lengths to hide them but something told me I could trust Bella implicitly. I took the opportunity to look down myself and instantly regretted it.

I hadn't looked at my scars of my own volition for almost two years, I found them sickening; a constant reminder of the pain I had caused. My arms were starting to ache and so I rested my forearms on my lap and let my head hang as I looked at them. The angry red scars that ran diagonally along my arms stared back at me; goading me. They were slightly raised like elongated welts in the skin. The one on my left arm was a good 3 inches long and the right one half that size. I watched Bella as her eyes flitted between my arms, up to my face and then back again. I saw movement out of the corner of my eye and assumed that she wanted me to cover up and so I made a move to roll down my sleeves, but Bella stopped me with a gentle touch.

"You don't need to hide anymore baby; not from me." She said sweetly as she raised my palm to her lips and graced it with a kiss.

I was touched by the gesture and tried to stop the tears that were still running down my cheeks but they continued to flow mercilessly. I was waiting for the other shoe to drop, waiting for that moment when Bella realised that I wasn't worth it and she could do better; when she realised she didn't have to put up with my shit.

I realised then what she had called me: _Baby. _

I had never been a girl's baby before, it should have been emasculating but it wasn't; it was strangely freeing. Jessica had said it to me once but it hadn't been the same, there was no venomous tone to Bella's voice; just sweetness. I found I liked it, I wondered how I could get her to say it again.

Bella released my hand and I scrubbed both palms over my face in anxiety, conscious of the fact that my arms were still on show. Bella, sensing my distress, rolled my sleeves down and kissed my inner arms over the fabric before kneeling up and wrapping her arms around my shoulders. In an uncharacteristically bold move, I wrapped my arms around Bella's waist and lifted her sideways onto my lap; she squeaked in response but did not object. Instead tightening her arms around my neck and burying her face into my shoulder. She began to stroke the hair at the nape of my neck in short, soothing motions and as her warm breath fanned against my throat, I contemplated how this wasn't how I had expected it to be. I should be in a state of panic and she should be screaming in horror and disgust but instead she remained strong and gave me the most amazing feeling of peace. It was a nice feeling but made me uneasy in its unfamiliarity.

I realised that she had yet to say anything, as had I. I had no idea if she was freaked out by this and I knew that the hard part had only just begun. If she didn't come to her senses and ask me to leave, then she would have questions to ask and I would be compelled to answer. I took a deep, calming breath before I spoke.

"Would you like me to leave Bella?" I asked without looking at her, praying that she wouldn't say yes but knowing I would do so without question if it was what she wanted. She halted her ministrations in my hair and her breathing hitched momentarily before she started her calming motions again.

"No, please stay." She said in a quiet voice against my neck and I nodded in shock.

I couldn't comprehend what was wrong with her, she didn't react how she was supposed to. She should be throwing me out in disgust, not comforting me. I didn't understand.

"Would you like to tell me what happened?" she asked softly. It wasn't an order, it was request.

"No." I answered simply. I never wanted to talk about it. Bella surprised me by nodding; she didn't push me, she just accepted whatever I said. She was such a ridiculously kind girl.

"But I will. For you." I said honestly. I was quickly growing to believe that I would do absolutely anything for this girl.

She gasped and mumbled "Thank you baby."

That word again, I wondered if she knew that she floored me every time she used it. It made me feel like I meant half as much to her as she did to me.

I opened and closed my mouth a few times before I huffed in frustration and spoke again.

"I don't know how to do this Bella." I admitted. I wanted her to know everything I just didn't know how to vocalise it.

"Just take your time, why don't you just start at the beginning. What led up to it?" she said simply as if there was nothing complicated about the whole situation. It struck me in this moment that she sounded remarkably like my old therapist, but I didn't say anything because I admired Bella for her view on life. It seemed to me that, to Bella; life was as simple as you made it. She oozed calm; I liked it.

"Erm... Ok. I guess that could work." I stuttered nervously. I could feel the adrenaline pumping through me as my heart thumped away far too quickly in my chest. I wasn't sure whether it was through fear of rejection or anticipation of finally being able to tell somebody about it. I had told the therapist a little after I was released from hospital, but I didn't tell them too much because at the time I hadn't wanted to cast my father in a bad light, especially not to someone outside the family.

I didn't feel like I deserved this opportunity to unburden myself to Bella, but I craved it nonetheless.

"I have never been a particularly happy or carefree person, even from childhood I was content but serious. I never seemed to do very well at much of anything, I was always getting something wrong." I told her honestly. I had expected her to nod in acceptance but she just frowned, as if she wanted to challenge me. I shook my head gently to dispel the thought and continued.

"I have never gotten along with my father; I embarrassed him a lot with my failures." I stopped as she interrupted me.

"What failures, Edward?"

"Uh...well… just things I did wrong... Everything." I snapped, confused at her question. Everything I did growing up was a failure. She just nodded and gave me a look that I didn't understand, angry somehow.

"Well like I said, we just never clicked like father and son should, you know. I was always the disappointment, Emmett did ok…."

"Emmett's your brother, right?" she asked as she continued to play with my hair and I nodded.

"Yeah, he's two years younger. Well, he got along with dad ok most of the time, or at least my father seemed to be proud of him. Emmett was athletic and good with girls. I'm the awkward virgin…" I laughed humourlessly until my face fell as I realised my mistake. I hadn't intended on telling Bella that little fact about me. She giggled softly and shook her head at me.

"It's ok, I kind of hoped as much if I'm honest; I know you said you hadn't really had a girlfriend and you didn't strike me as the type to sleep around so I thought…" she said as she pulled a face and shrugged her shoulders. I nodded and she smiled again.

"You can ask me you know…" She said and I blushed bright red, I could never ask her that. She laughed silently and answered anyway.

"I've never really dated until now; I mean I had the odd date a few years ago but nothing serious. The last few years have been….disjointed. But that's a story for another time." she said as she half smiled and nudged me to continue. I blinked rapidly to clear my thoughts, I could feel Bella's hot breath on my neck and it was making me dizzy; in the best way.

"Yeah so, things gradually got on top of me. I felt more and more worthless all of the time. I wanted to stop caring what he thought of me, you know?" I said as I looked at her. Her face didn't give anything away, her features kind but focused. I had no way of knowing what she was thinking.

"But it was hard; it still is. I'm nearly 30 and I still want my father's approval and I hate myself for it. I should be man enough to let it go. But I've never had any reason for it, no explanation; so it eats away at me every single day. As far as I know I have never done anything to warrant it; so why? That's all I have ever asked. Why?" I asked getting frustrated now as I swiped at the drying tears on my cheeks. Bella continued to stroke my hair and I pressed her closer into my body. I cherished the warmth and she hummed her approval.

"I started pushing myself harder and harder over the years but then I got to the point where I realised there was nothing more that I could do. I had gone through school, college and secured a job that is top of my field and he still isn't proud of me. It's never going to happen." She moved her hands to my jawline and moved up to kiss away a tear on my cheek.

"So, one day, just over two years ago; I confronted him. We had a blazing argument and he basically told me that I was dead to him. I meant nothing. I was used to hearing it but for some reason that day I couldn't deal with it. I couldn't push it to the back of my mind anymore. I tried asking him why but all he would say is that he never wanted me in the first place. That he had begged my mother to terminate the pregnancy, that he was ashamed of me. The same old insults, nothing new but if you hear something enough Bella, it becomes the truth to your ears and he spoke with such conviction. I believed every word he said." I said as she pulled me in impossibly close to her, there was no space at all between us now.

"You know, when I was a kid, I used to pretend my dad was this superhero, that's how I got into the whole marvel and gaming thing. My dad was never at home because he would be defending justice and putting the bad guys in jail. Then as I got older I realised that he was the one keeping the bad guys out of jail." I laughed humourlessly.

"And now?" she asked.

"Now he's just the bad guy." I said and she nodded, kissing my chin in a sweet gesture.

"We argued for a while and then I saw we were getting nowhere, I lost my nerve, just like I always did. So I walked away from him and went up to my room. A short while later he came and found me; he was shouting again about the shame I brought on the family. I felt like he was in my head, I had to get him out, it's like the walls were closing in on me. He was screaming in my face. My heart was pounding so hard I could feel my pulse in my ears. He spat at me and walked away. Next thing I know; something flies by my head and sticks into the wall next to me and my door slams. I calmed down enough to see what it was." I stopped and looked to Bella to make sure she was ok. Her brow was furrowed and she wore a confused expression, I had to speed this up, it was a lot for her to take in but if I stopped now I would never be able to start again.

"He had found my grandfather's army switchblade, he was staying with us at the time and he kept it in his fishing box; they are ridiculously sharp. He had thrown it aiming for my head; I think he had anyway. I'll never know for sure. Part of me thinks maybe he didn't mean to hit me, and that he wanted me to do it myself. I just lost control. I could hear screaming downstairs and my chest was tight and I just panicked, I felt so desolate, so hopeless. I needed out. I needed to end the shame and the fighting. I took the blade from the wall and cut along my left arm." I said as I showed her the scar and recreated the motion, again she looked like she was going to touch it but pulled back, I didn't comment on the action.

"I remember the feeling as the blade popped through the skin the first time and then it was like white hit pokers up my arm and my hands shaking uncontrollably as I tried to gather the courage to do the other side. Those people who tell you it doesn't hurt after the first cut are full of it. It's not the glamorous and painless death it's made out to be. I don't remember much after that though; the memory is just like watching through a bubble; no feeling and no sound. Then I must have cut here too" I said showing her the smaller scar on the right side. "But I don't remember that at all. I passed out after that." I said and she looked like she was fighting back tears, she was trying to be strong for me. I kissed her forehead and rocked her gently.

"What happened then?" She asked hesitantly.

"Then, I woke up in the hospital, with my mother holding my hand and praying endlessly. It was her that had found me; my father had stormed out and told her we had an argument. She says that when she found me I was shaking; like a seizure and my hands had seized up like claws. It was horrific for her; she thought for sure I was dead. She called 911 and thankfully a friend of hers is a doctor at the hospital; she called him and he told her what to do over the phone and then met us at the door. Between the two of them, they saved my life before I even got there; I should have died that day Bella."

"No you shouldn't, it wasn't your time angel." She said with a sweet kiss. I smiled softly.

"Mom was so ill Bella; she had stopped eating, she didn't sleep and wouldn't talk to anybody." I said honestly.

"Is that why you think you ruined the family? It wasn't your fault that your Mom worried about you Edward; that's what mom's do." She said and I frowned at her innocence.

"Not exactly, I lost a lot of blood and was out of it for a week. Before all of this, Emmett and my father were close, like I said; Emmett was never a disappointment." Bella placed her head on my shoulder and squeezed against me in a show of comfort. I accepted it readily.

"Well after I got let out of the hospital, my father was never home and Emmett started asking all these questions about what happened. He was convinced I was hiding something and he would argue with dad whenever he could; then he moved out and started living with Rosalie. Emmett blamed my father for what happened, said if he didn't do it himself then he drove me to it. So much so that it caused a rift in the family. Mom moved into the spare room and my grandfather moved to Washington. But in all honesty I think he had wanted to do that since my grandmother died a year before. My father didn't even bother making excuses for why he wasn't home anymore. I didn't speak to him for nearly a year, even though we lived in the same house, but over the years I had gotten good at avoiding him. Even now I can see the difference in my mom, she lost so much weight, she lost her spark, she literally wouldn't leave my side for a second, even now when I would go to the house, and she would have me with her all the time. I know it still scares her. With Jessica, I just thought if I could make my father happy and get into his good graces then the rift would be healed and everyone would get on again; crazy I know. I guess no matter how old I get, when it comes to my dad, I still think like a kid, you know? I am still that 8 year old scanning the crowd at my piano recital, hoping. "I said as I shook my head dejectedly and sighed. "I know my father has tried to make an effort with Emmett and he was just starting to talk to him again but that has gone now." I said with a guilty expression, Bella sighed and sounded annoyed.

"This is unreal Edward. That bastard really did a number on you didn't he? This is not your fault Edward. Fuck!" she said as she jumped up from my lap. "And he has no one to blame but himself if his family doesn't want to speak to him. He should have thought of that before treating you all like shit and banging his son's girlfriend!" She shouted; she took me by surprise with this. She was defending me again in a way and I wasn't used to it. She was feistier that she looked; this one.

I leant forward and rested my elbows on my knees as I sighed miserably and scratched the stubble that was forming on my chin. Bella was pacing in front of me. I couldn't help but watch her and think how utterly magnificent she looked. When everything else was tearing me apart, Bella was like a beacon for me; leading me home. She is pure beauty.

"Why would you think you were to blame here though? I know it's had some pretty big effects on your family; but how could you blame yourself? I mean who told you it was your fault…?" she asked frantically.

"He did" I stated honestly, I couldn't see what she was getting at, "It was my fault my mother got so ill, my fault my grandfather moved away and my fault Emmett and my father had no relationship. I ripped the family apart." I shouted and she gasped and reeled back before falling to her knees in front of me. I felt like a monster for raising my voice at her

"Oh my god! No, Edward! No! It's not your fault. It's like he has brainwashed you baby. You didn't do anything wrong. Please believe me" she said as she finished her plea with a firm kiss to my lips, I gasped and kissed her back hungrily, panting into her mouth. "Please baby" she pleaded with a chaste kiss and wrapped her arms around my neck.

"So why is your father using it against you now?" she asked gently once I had settled down.

"Well, we are back to the same question aren't we? Why? He wants me to suffer; I just don't understand his reasoning for it." I said solemnly, I had no answer for her, I had been asking similar questions for years.

"Ok, ok." she said as she sat herself in my lap again. "How did you think I would react baby?" she asked as she looked deep into my eyes. I sighed before I answered her.

"I expected you to be disgusted, to tell me to get out and leave you alone, I was dreading it but I knew that you deserved honesty. You mean to much to me for me to lie to you Bella." I said honestly as she peppered my cheeks with kisses. I shocked myself when I heard a small laugh escape me. Bella made me feel joy even when I couldn't imagine ever smiling again.

"Silly Edward. I told you nothing would make me leave you, I meant it. you haven't done anything wrong but I am so pleased that you trusted me enough to tell me, you did the right thing Edward." She said with a grateful smile. "I am not going anywhere, so why don't you come to bed with me baby." She giggled and I choked a little when I heard her words. She laughed harder.

"Just to sleep. You are safe tonight I promise. I promise not to ravish you as you sleep." She joked playfully and tilted her head in question. I could never say no to this girl, I wasn't sure I would ever want to either. I nodded and she beamed back happily.

She led me up from the sofa and through into a bedroom, it was tastefully decorated in browns and creams and had very few personal touches which surprised me. I thought girls liked that sort of thing. I noticed a couple of pictures on the dresser and looked at them stealthily without touching them.

"You can look if you like." She said with a sly smile, I laughed knowing that she always caught me when I tried to be sneaky. She stood in front of me with her palms linked I front of her looking nervous s she shifted from foot to foot.

I picked up the first picture and it was of a younger Bella, she was stood with an older man and he had his arm around her as he grinned at her with pride in his eyes. Bella beamed back at the camera and looked genuinely happy. On his other side, the man had his arm around a boy who was around Bella's age, he was a skinny little thing with long hair and his grin looked distinctly familiar. Bella leaned to look over at the photograph and smiled.

"Do you recognise him?" she laughed as she pointed at the picture. I looked at her in confusion for a moment before the light came on in my head.

"Is that…?" I started as I laughed back with her and she nodded.

"Yeah, that's Jacob. Whenever I visited my dad, we always used to hang out and then when I moved up there we got really close. We just never lost touch. It's the same with me and Angela." She said with a smile.

"Angela owns the restaurant, right?" I asked and she nodded. "She thinks I'm a dick." I said with a chuckle as I remembered what Alice had said about Angela not being fond of me after that night.

"She might have thought you were a bit of a jerk, but I'll set her straight. Saturday night wasn't your fault; don't you worry green eyes." She said with a wink and I couldn't help but smile back at her. She looked at the photo again with a wistful expression.

"That's my dad, he was so happy." She said and tears filled her eyes.

"He looks so proud of you." I replied and felt a pang in my chest at the words.

"I guess he was. He was a good dad." She said with a nod.

_ ._

"Was?" I asked, although I already knew what she was going to say.

"Yeah, was. Like I said, a story for another day, we need to get you into bed. To sleep." She smiled, before picking up the other photo frame.

I noticed she was older in this photo, but her hair was shorter. She was with a woman with the same brown eyes and Bella's smile. This woman was obviously her mother, I smiled at the thought. There was another man in the photo; he only looked to be 5 or so years older than Bella. He was smiling along with the two women in the photo.

Bella smiled again, "my mom and her second husband, Phil. She died last year. We will talk about it; just not tonight, enough tears for one night. Don't be sad, we can't change it; if it hadn't happened then I wouldn't have found you would I? There are some things that we have no control over, our only choice is to accept them." she said as she pulled me in for a hug.

Bella took hold of my hand and led me to the bed to sit down.

"The bathroom is just through there, if you want to, you know…" she said and I nodded.

I made my way into the bathroom and freshened up; I took a moment to look at myself in the mirror; sure enough I looked like shit. How had I managed to get the most beautiful girl in Chicago to agree to be my girlfriend when I looked like this? I was unsure how much I should strip down. What was decent in this kind of situation? I removed my tie and jacket and laid them over the edge of the chair in the corner of the room. When I went back in the bedroom Bella was in a pair of pyjama shorts and a _green lantern_ tank top, I smiled at the sight of her and willed myself not to stare at her breasts but they were very tempting, I noticed that they jiggled ever so slightly when she gestured with her hands as she talked and I got a really good view as she moved to pull the covers back on the bed. Thankfully she spoke before my eyes could linger too long.

"Do you want a drink or anything?" she asked and I shook my head as I politely declined, I just wanted to sleep right now. I removed my shoes and belt and noticed Bella sneaking glances over at me then looking away when her eyes met mine. I went to get into bed but Bella laughed at me. I frowned in confusion.

"You can make yourself comfortable; we were practically dry humping on the couch earlier." She giggled with a furious blush and I nodded blindly.

I opted to remove my trousers and shirt and sleep in my boxers and undershirt. But this still made me nervous. She pulled back the covers and motioned for me to join her in bed. I climbed in and looked into her eyes as I brushed her hair from her face. She smiled back at me and had me lie down before joining me with her head on my chest. I wrapped my arms around her tightly and rested my cheek on the top of her head. I inhaled her strawberry scent deeply and tried to ignore the niggling voice telling me that my scars were on show. She pulled on my arm and held it next to her, looking at the large ugly scar on my left arm.

"Are you ok now?" she asked.

"Yeah, I saw a therapist for a year afterwards but I'm ok now, things just got too much for me, that's all." I reassured her as she continued to look at my scar.

"Can I touch it?" she asked and I nodded. I had nothing to hide from her.

"Endure and persist; this pain will turn good by and by." She said quietly as she gently caressed the raised, red scar with a feather light touch. I smiled as I recognised the quote. I saw my opportunity to impress her.

"Fortune and love favour the brave." I quoted with a smile.

She beamed back at me

"You recognised it; I'm very impressed." She winked and I soaked up her praise, neglecting to tell her that I had studied it when I was younger. I loved the thought of impressing her. I leaned in to kiss her, her lips moved gently against mine and I caressed her jawline with my palm and pulled her in closer. I flicked my tongue out to grace her lip and her mouth opened for me. I groaned quietly at the taste of her tongue upon mine. We kissed for a few moments before I pulled away with a few chaste kisses to her lips. She smiled up at me before bringing my arm up to her mouth and shocking me by kissing along the hideous marks there, she repeated the move on my right arm before lying back against me and snuggling in for the night.

"Goodnight Edward, everything will be ok. I promise, we'll do it together." She said confidently and I placed a kiss to her hair in response.

I fell asleep quickly feeling liberated and like a huge weight had been lifted.

Today had been very eventful, not only had I managed to get my first girlfriend but she was more accepting than I could have hoped for. She didn't judge, wasn't horrified and my admission seemed to have brought us closer if anything. Somehow, telling Bella had relieved me of a little shame. I felt a new connection with her and wasn't scared by it this time. I wanted to be close to her all the time. As I lay with her in my arms I felt safe, more so than I have ever before.

When I woke up the clock behind Bella said it was just after two am, she had her leg hitched over my hip and was still wrapped up in my arms, I kissed her forehead and watched her as I fell back into a deep sleep, my dreams all the more vivid because her scent was engulfing me and her body was pressed against mine.

I awoke to soft kisses along my cheeks and lips. I groaned as I grasped wildly to find purchase on bella's beautiful body. She giggled manically as my bleary eyed touches tickled her ribs. I laughed back.

"Your phone is ringing sweetie." She said with a kiss as she handed me my cell.

"Hello?" I said in a gruff, sleepy voice.

"Hey bro, where the fuck are you?" Emmett boomed down the line.

"I'm not at home." I mumbled as I pulled Bella back to me when she tried to leave the bed.

"I guessed that, seeing as I'm sat on your fucking couch. Where are you dude?" he asked playfully.

"I have to pee." Bella whispered and I laughed and released her with a kiss, oblivious to Emmett on the phone.

"Fucking hell. Never mind bro. I have to say though; I'm shocked." He said seriously.

"It's not like that Emmett nothing happened. Don't tell mom." I insisted, knowing that she would either overreact or panic; probably both.

"Nothing?" he laughed, "You sound chirpy, something happened."

"We kissed, she's amazing Emmett. Please don't tell Mom" I groaned.

"That's fan-fucking-tastic bro! You know I'm gonna tell mom don't you? She'll throw a fucking party after the shit storm that was Jessica Stanley. Way to dodge a bullet with that one bro!" he said enthusiastically but I ignored him. I knew all this and I was still in a sleepy bliss.

"Now, when will you be home, we need to talk about these papers that are coming today." He asked distractedly.

"I'll get up soon; I'm only around the corner."

"Ok Edward, give the little lady a kiss from me…" he laughed as he blew kisses down the phone.

"No." I said as I hung up.

I felt much lighter as I lay waiting for Bella to return to my arms, then all of a sudden a realisation hit me hard.

Last night was the first step in standing up to my father, he had tried to intimidate me and I had beaten him. I smiled at the realisation, that smile grew wider when I saw her leaning against the doorframe, the girl who had helped me, saved me; my Bella.

_**A/N- So, let me know what you think please, thanks to all of you that reviewed or added me again last chap. I love you all for it!**_

_**Quotes are from a translated works of a Latin poet named Ovid. **_

_**Gemma xx**_


	14. The morning after

**A/N - Hi guys,**

**Here's the new chap. A huge thankyou to all who reviewed. You all inspire me to keep writing, so thankyou!**

**Also big thanks to Sienna for her support with this chap. X**

**Okay guys, so let me know what you think please. I'll be waiting nervously…**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, all credit to Stephanie Meyer.**

Bella smiled at me from her spot in the doorway as she raised a brow in question. I laughed; realising that I had been staring at her with a wistful expression for a good few minutes now. I couldn't help it, she was absolutely gorgeous.

She laughed along with me and joined me on the bed, I removed one arm from behind my head and stretched it out on the pillow next to me; inviting Bella to curl into my side. I smiled contentedly as I wrapped my arm around her back and buried my nose into her hair, inhaling deeply; her scent was intoxicating.

"You're always sniffing me..." She mumbled into my shoulder with a breathy giggle, causing me to laugh and mutter a half- hearted apology. She looked back at me sceptically and narrowed her eyes. Rightly so; I wasn't sorry at all, I loved it.

"You smell good." I told her honestly with a shrug.

"You usually do, but right now...not so much." She said as she turned her head away and crinkled her nose with a mock-grimace. I hoped she was exaggerating but then again, yesterday had been a long day and I could use a shower.

She didn't seem too perturbed by it as she peppered my collar bone with chaste kisses before leading a tingling trail up to my jawline. As she continued her ministrations over my cheeks, I licked my lips in anticipation of the sweet manna that was Bella's plump lips. I had survived 28 years without kissing but apparently I was now addicted; it was such a demure act but yet so intimate and Bella was oh so inviting.

I closed my eyes as I exhaled deeply through my nose in impatience as Bella bypassed my lips with a chuckle and continued her journey to my other cheek and down my jaw again. She pulled back with a mischievous glint in her eye and bit down on her succulent lower lip to conceal her smirk. She broke out in giggles when I greeted her with my patented pout. I tapped my pursed lips with my index finger expectantly and she leant in, pressing her full lips to mine and it was heavenly. We continued to kiss languidly for a few minutes, her long chestnut hair falling around us, creating a curtain from the outside world. She eventually pulled away, placing three feather-light kisses on my lips.

"Do you have to go?" Bella asked, with a pout of her own; I kissed it and she chuckled.

"Soon, Emmett wants to talk to me about my parents; my father is kicking up a storm over these ridiculous divorce papers. I said I would talk to him about it today."

"What time do you have to be at work?" she asked innocently as she kissed my lips with a theatrical smacking sound. I chuckled and sighed as I looked at my watch.

"An hour ago." I mumbled with a shrug and a half smile. Her face blanched and she started apologising ridiculously.

"Oh Edward, I'm so sorry. I should have woken you earlier but you were a very comfy pillow." She said with a sheepish smile. "Will you get into trouble?"

"No Bella. To be honest I doubt anyone will notice. Which is kind of sad." I said with a shrug and a smile.

"Aww… well I would notice." She smiled. "You are the office hottie after all."

Her smirk had turned mischievous and she hit me with a pillow, I laughed when she clearly used all her strength to swing it at my abdomen but I barely flinched and she huffed in frustration.

Bella bit on her lip with a nervous expression as snuck a finger under the hem of my undershirt and lifted it up slightly; I pulled my other arm from behind my head and sat up leaning back on my palms and watching her intently. She tilted her head to the side and looked on in what appeared to be fascination.

Her brow furrowed and she bit down harder on her lip as she stared at the bare patch of my stomach that she had just expose. I really didn't understand this girl. Although, I felt at ease with Bella; as if I had known her forever; I was still over run with nerves around her. Even though the action was innocent, there was still an inherently sexual undertone to the intimacy of the situation.

I lifted a trembling hand to her face and plucked at her lower lip with my thumb before she could do any real damage to her perfect cupids bow.

"Your abs are really hard." She said before she let out a single chuckle and shook her head slightly. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that. I don't know what I was thinking." she laughed as she blushed furiously; I loved that. I hugged her and kissed her head with a smile on my face.

"Emmett made me start working out a little when I started college. I just carried it on I guess…" I trailed off and drew in a jagged breath as her index finger lightly traced the hair on my stomach. All of a sudden, Bella's eyes widened and she whipped her hand away quickly as if it burned her.

"Speaking of Emmett, we should probably get you going if you are going to meet with him today." She said and I nodded. "Listen; if you want to go freshen up, I will put you some breakfast on before you go. Use the shower if you want." She replied sweetly and just in time as my stomach growled loudly. She was giggling deliciously as she pulled me from the bed, or attempted to at least.

We got up and Bella headed for the kitchen, still in the impossibly tiny pyjamas and I went to the bathroom to shower quickly. Looking in the mirror, I really did look dire. _I had managed to get a kiss looking like this?_

I showered quickly, trying not to think how many man points it had cost me to use her body wash and shampoo this morning. I dressed back in the shirt and dress pants from yesterday, circumventing the tie and jacket.

I left the bedroom and found Bella in the kitchen; she was singing lightly to the radio and swaying her hips gently in a hypnotic motion. She stilled to flip something in the frying pan on the stove, and I walked up behind her, placing my hands on her hips and resting my chin on her shoulder. She leaned her head back to meet me with a light peck to the cheek.

"It's French toast and bacon is that ok? I just thought you would appreciate something quick." She said with a nervous smile.

"Sounds lovely, thank you. " I said as I returned her kiss on the cheek.

She motioned for me to sit down and joined me with the food. She elected to sit next to me rather than opposite and so I took advantage of the situation and placed my palm on her lower back. At this point I just needed to have some contact with her as much as possible. It was like we were inextricably linked, it felt good to have this kind of connection with someone.

"How are you feeling about last night, baby?" Bella asked tentatively.

"I honestly don't know, I never imagined that I would be able to tell anyone about it. I've never even been totally honest with my therapist. I feel like a weight has been lifted, I feel closer to you." I said as I gently brushed a lock of hair from her face.

"You should be proud, you did so well. I'm proud of you anyway." She said as she placed her hand on top of mine at the table and gave it a gentle squeeze. I kissed her hair in thanks.

"I feel so relieved though. You took it much better than I thought you would." I said honestly and she frowned angrily but her voice was gentle when she spoke.

"That is your father, putting thoughts in your head. Never be scared to tell me anything Edward. I'm not going to run away screaming. Stop worrying." She said as she got up and moved to sit sideways on my lap, I welcomed the motion gladly. We ate in silence for a few minutes before I spoke again.

"I'm' so lucky that I found you." I said honestly and she brought a piece of bacon to my lips.

"Because I feed you bacon?" she laughed and I shook my head. Silly girl.

"Because you are perfect…" I said as I placed a lingering kiss to her forehead and she leaned into my touch.

"It's time to move on baby." She said simply as she got up to move the plates to the sink.

"Thank you for everything Bella." I said sincerely and she shook it off with a wave of her hand.

I thought carefully about a polite way to tell her that I needed to go. She had been a wonderful host; I hated just leaving so abruptly. When I looked up and noticed that she was looking at me with a knowing smirk on her face.

"You need to go." She said and I nodded. "That's ok baby. I hope it all goes well for you today." she added sincerely. I nodded and thanked her as she handed me my jacket and I headed to the door. I had been so relaxed all this time, like we were trapped in our own little haven, but now I was suddenly nervous. I opened the door and stepped out, turning back around to face Bella again.

"I really don't want to go." I said honestly.

"I don't want you to either." She laughed and looked at her feet nervously. The action hid her beautiful eyes from me and I just couldn't have that so I reached towards her face and gently lifted her chin with my fingertips. When she looked up her eyes were dark and she was biting her lip again. She was stunning.

"Can I call you later beautiful?" I asked hopefully.

"Of course you can, you don't have to ask Edward."

I nodded and licked my lips as I looked at hers in anticipation.

All of a sudden, Bella surprised me by throwing her arms around my waist and hugging me tightly.

"So proud of you." She stated with conviction. I smiled back and kissed the top of her head in appreciation.

She tilted her head to look up at me and I couldn't see anything but her, I couldn't hear anything else, nothing else existed; only us.

She rolled her lips together and her little pink tongue flicked out to wet them. I ran my fingers through the hair at the side of her face and moved closer to her, she responded with small smile and pressed herself into me. Her body moulded against mine perfectly, every curve of her flawless frame found its ideal place against my front and I leant in towards her face buried my hand completely into her hair. She laid her tiny hands on my biceps and squeezed gently sending an electric shock down my arms as I tightened my hold on her with my other arm on the small on her back.

I looked into her eyes and she leaned up on the balls of her feet, our lips met and she sighed against my mouth, I felt the top of her soft tongue brush against my lower lip and I gasped and loved the feeling of her tongue rolling against mine. She dropped back down onto the flat of her feet and her face broke from mine abruptly, leaving me wanting. My mouth was hanging open as I stared at her intently.

"I can't do this Edward." She said and I instantly panicked but thankfully she didn't notice. "You are really fucking tall. It hurts my feet to stretch." She said with a scowl.

I wrapped my arms around her tightly and leaned her back against the doorjamb and moved in to claim her mouth as my own as she sighed and moaned against my lips and I pressed my hips against hers. Every cell in my body was on fire. She was perfect and made me feel so alive. It killed me to do it but I had to go. Emmett was not known for his patience and he had called over an hour ago.

I softly broke the kiss and placed soft gentle pecks on her lips and cheeks before bringing her head to my chest and inhaling her scent deeply causing her to giggle slightly against me.

I reluctantly let her go after kissing her one more time and left her apartment building with a huge smile on my face.

After leaving Bella, I made a quick call to Jasper; seeing as I clearly wasn't going to make it into work today. I couldn't bring myself to care too much though. Spending the night with Bella had improved my mood exponentially and I was doing pretty well at blocking out the crap that was trying to creep its way to the forefront of my mind.

I didn't feel too guilty when Jasper answered on the first ring; clearly he was not busy today either.

"Jasper Whitlock at your service." He said as he exaggerated his already pronounced southern drawl. I rolled my eyes at his little performance.

"Jazz, it's me." I said with an amused smile.

"Well, howdy stranger, where are you?" he asked and I stifled a chuckle.

"Did you actually say howdy just then? That's bad Jazz…"

"Shut it. So, what's going on? Why y'all only just headin' home?" he asked with a laugh.

"How do you even…?"

"Emmett text me, he said…" he started but I cut him off.

"I don't want to know what he said. He's worse than you. He lives in the gutter. It's nothing like that Jasper." I said in a firm tone, I wasn't about to argue with him when Bella's virtue was in question. That's how rumours start.

"I didn't think it did. I know you're a perfect fucking gent, just like me; which is why I resent you comparing me to your brother. He has a dirty mind and dirtier mouth, I on the other hand, am wholesome and lovely." He said and I shook my head in amusement. He wasn't fooling anyone.

"Anyway, I need you to cover for me today; I won't be making it in. Sorry Jazz." I said distractedly as I thought about Bella again. My mouth formed a frown as I wondered if it was too soon to text her.

"Cover with who exactly? No one cares about us Eddie." He said, I managed to resist the urge to berate him for the use of that awful nickname.

"Seriously, a girl from upstairs saw me in the lift the other day and asked me to fix her printer. At first I got excited cos I thought it was a euphemism but no, she just thinks we are IT. '_oh are you not the computer guy?' _ That's all I get. "He said with a petulant sigh, he sounded genuinely disappointed, I was amused.

"Lauren might miss you though…" he said with a vindictive chuckle and I narrowed my eyes as I tried to think.

"Who's Lauren again?"

"Boobs Edward, boobs on the front desk." He deadpanned as if it was abhorrent that I didn't know straight away.

"Oh right." I said, pretty much blanking that statement. " well, if the execs come down tell them I had to go out for something." I said, hoping that he could be serious for a few minutes.

"Maggie was asking after you though." He added and I smiled. Maggie was good to us, like a second mother.

"Tell her I'm fine and will be in tomorrow. Thanks Jazz. I have to go I'm home now and Emmett wants to talk about the shit that starting with my father." I said as I got ready to hang up the phone.

"Is it really that bad?" he asked sounding concerned. He messed around a lot but when it came to it, he was a brilliant friend.

"It's worse." I deadpanned.

"You know just because you have a girl now, we can still hang out." He said and I felt guilty, I had been a crappy friend to him lately.

"I know, listen… give me a call later and we'll sort something out. I have to go."

He agreed and I hung up and rushed into the house. I was greeted with a very angry looking and pacing Emmett. He looked up as soon as I entered. I stared at him in question.

"Thank fuck you are back, maybe you can talk some sense into her! She's being fucking ridiculous." He said as he gestured angrily at my mother. My grandfather looked as though he would reprimand Emmett for using that language about our mom but she waved it off. I looked around confused, waiting for an explanation.

"He wants to see her." Emmett shouted wildly, his face was bright red and he looked like he was barely keeping hold of his control.

"Your father wants to see Alice and your mother agrees." My grandfather clarified. I set down my jacket and keys and took a seat next to my mother. Emmett continued to pace opposite us.

"Oh I see, I can't say I'm surprised." I said honestly, I knew my father would end up playing this card.

"You knew this was coming?" Emmett questioned in disbelief.

"No, I knew nothing but I suspected. Alice is an easy target. Think about it, she's always been daddy's little princess but her and mom are close too. She can be his go between." I said with a determined nod and my grandfather grunted in agreement.

"We can't stop him from seeing his daughter. It's up to Alice." my mother said with tears in her eyes, I put an arm around her shoulder as I sat near her on the sofa.

"What does he want?" Emmett demanded.

"Nothing, he wants nothing. He's just playing his little games. Fuck him. Let him see Alice but not alone. We'll be there. Not mom though. He wants to play doting dad now? Amazing! He can play it to all three of his kids. I'm not putting up with his shit anymore, none of us are. Once he sees that, he'll sign the fucking papers you put in front of him." I said with an exasperated sigh.

It was silent for a few moments and when I looked up three sets of wide eyes were on me.

"What?" I said with a bewildered expression. Emmett opened and closed his mouth a few times before he spoke.

"You seem… different." He said cautiously and eyed me up and down.

"You're ready to confront your father on this?" my grandfather asked and I nodded.

"We need to nip it in the bud before he goes too far. I'm sick of this shit." I said honestly, sounding braver than I felt.

Emmett eyed me suspiciously again before he spoke.

"How is Bella? Is she the cause of this sudden personality change?" he asked, shaking his head dramatically.

"She's part of it. You know he threatened me with telling Bella about what happened?"

My mother gasped and Emmett just nodded, my grandfather turned away and faced the sink in the kitchen, I knew this was hard for him to think about; for so many reasons.

"Yeah well, there is nothing for him to tell. So let him try something else now." I said in a hard voice as I got up and poured a cup of coffee to avoid the eye contact.

"You told her?" my mother asked in a timid whisper and I nodded. Emmett pressed his lips together and nodded slightly with proud eyes and my grandfather clapped his hand on my shoulder but still avoided eye contact.

"Yeah I told her everything last night. That's why I ended up staying. Neither of us wanted to end it on that note."

"I don't know what to say man, well done; I guess." Emmett said proudly, I waved him off.

"I'm just sick of the bullshit. Let's move on." I said dismissing his praise.

"One question; not that I don't welcome it, but why are you so brave all of a sudden? Why so willing to fight him now?" Emmett asked it wasn't an accusation or a criticism; he was genuinely curious.

I was about to speak when my grandfather interrupted.

"Because now he something to fight for." He said with a pointed look and Emmett nodded, my mother remained sat on the sofa and gave me a watery smile.

"Anyway, the papers came. Its horse shit. Absolutely fuck all, she's not signing these." He said waving a small stack of papers at me. He seemed to be losing some of his rage but not his anger.

My mother sat looking morose.

"That is all that remains of my marriage." She said solemnly, Emmett looked like he was about to speak but I shook my head at him no, he would only upset her further. She wasn't upset about losing my father; it was just the end of an era for her.

"So, what's the plan Em?" I asked, he sighed in response.

"We organise two meetings, one for him to see Alice if she wants, but she doesn't go alone; we show a united front on this one. You will have to take her though Edward. I'm representing mom so I can't really do it." he said and I nodded, I hadn't considered that. "And another one; an official meeting, to discuss terms of the divorce. Oh and I'm going to try and find Jessica. If we can get her on side, we can really speed this fucker up." He said with a smile but it didn't reach his eyes. He looked like he had the world on his shoulders. I offered him a supportive smile in return, he nodded back at me.

I enjoyed my coffee and the silence for a moment until I heard a scratching noise and the sound of Abby whining.

"What's that noise?" I asked already knowing it was Abby but hoping for an explanation, Emmett's eyes lit up and he spoke first.

"Oh yeah, there's something up with your dog dude. She's been goin' bat shit crazy." He said with a smirk, I frowned. I had never had any trouble with her before.

"Yeah we can't let her in here. We've had to lock her in the den, she's bitin' chairs and shit." He said with a nod and I shook my head in disbelief.

"Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you. That woman called around last night and Abby was growling at her something awful and then trying to bite her chair. She was really uncomfortable, bless her. She was fidgeting on the chair and looked terrified, and then she just rushed out." My mom said with a light giggle and I tried to be patient, I really did.

"Who was it?" I snapped then quickly apologised.

"Oh god, what was her name….? erm… oh yes, Maggie. You know, the lady from work. She was asking after you dear. She wanted to check you were ok" my mom said and I looked back at her confused.

"Isn't that nice of her dear?"

_**A/N – Hi guys, hope you liked. Next chap will be up after the weekend due to the 48hr boycott of FFN on Friday, in protest to the number of twilight fics being pulled without warning.**_

_**Sorry about this guys, **_

_**Thanks again,**_

_**Gemma xxx**_


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